To think that 14 year olds don’t need educated on sex positions?

[fourelementary]

My dd doesn’t want to go to school this afternoon as she is embarrassed to go to her sex education lesson. I spoke to her about how it was good that young people were being taught about sex and she went into more detail about why she is uncomfortable.
Last week they discussed sexual positions and different ways to have sex including anal. She was mortified and said she doesn’t mind knowing about sex (we’ve always been honest about the birds and the bees from a young age anyway) but she finds this awkward and far too much information about which she has absolutely no interest currently.

I am no prude, but was quite shocked at the detail being discussed and agree with her it’s unnecessary for this age group.

Who do you want to teach your kids about anal sex? A qualified professional, or their friend who watches pornhub?

Those are your choices.

This is not good sex education, which should be evidence based on what works, and there is no evidence that this works. It is also normalising what should not be normalised - teenagers are incredibly vulnerable in this way as what they see as being normal is very influential on them and their choices.

I would not let my kids have this kind of sex education. At the moment schools are able to pull anything off the shelf, no matter who made the sex education materials, and use them. The teachers have no clue and are just following what they are given, usually by an equally clueless head or deputy head.

Which is a shame as it is incredibly important that teenagers are made to feel that they can say no to absolutely any kind of sex, one of the most important aspects for kids, especially as those already having sex are often the ones who lack the ability to say no, or may have a host of other issues. The last thing they need to hear is oh well of course you are probably having anal so let’s just show you how - from the supposed guardians and mentor adults.

Unless the lesson include a video of it happening, she's not being exposed to sexual content.
That's not actually true. Video is not the only form of content that can be inappropriate. Obviously stick diagrams or descriptions are less bad than video but it's still sexual content.

It's a really tricky line for teachers to tread. Perhaps that's why there is this facility to withdraw if you feel for your particular child at the stage they're at it's not right.

I am a parent, of a girl who is of an age where this will soon be relevant information. Very soon. It's not something any of us particularly want to think about to be sure, but keeping them ignorant is a really bad idea. They need to know. If they din't hear about it in the classroom, you can be sure they'll hear all sorts or f*cked up versions of it in the yard.

No 14 year old needs to be taught about anal ffs. Anyone thinking this is ok needs their devices checking.

I’m a parent (of 6 if that’s relevant) and think it’s essential that schools include anal sex in the sex ed curriculum.

More and more children are accessing porn. More and more porn includes anal sex. There is an obvious correlation between the increase of, often incredibly rough, anal sex in porn and the increase of injuries caused by anal sex.

It is essential that children are educated that porn anal is not healthy and absolutely not how it should be done if someone chooses to do it.

This is so disturbing. Anal sex is dangerous (and am I allowed to say I find the whole idea gross?!). There are SO MANY teens who are not sexually active and who don’t want to know this stuff yet.

Because at some point, probably before they even leave their teenage years, the girls will come under a lot of pressure to do it. And the boys will be the ones putting the girls under that pressure.

If you think otherwise, then you have no idea what porn is teaching young people (particularly young men) these days.

It's better to inform them factually and give girls the knowledge and tools to push back against that pressure. And also teach them what the dangers are, so the boys understand that what they see in porn isn't normal!

Teaching about consent, different things can feel nice, how to be safe IF you want to explore etc fine. Actually saying "hey 14 year olds, you can also try anal" absolutely not.

I agree with pps the more information they have the better educated they are to make informed decisions when the time comes and I think it takes a bit of the mystery out of it. I knew people who were having sex by 12 and 13 so I do think it's important they know this information before they're sexually active. So 14 is around the right age for getting in there early.

I think it's important that given most children have seen and accessed porn by age 11 that they get information on what's 'normal' and realistic in very matter a fact ways. I'd also say that if any child asks a question it should be answered very matter a factly and taken seriously no matter the question.

It might feel early to your dd if she's not in that mindframe yet, but for other children it will be important. It's all about giving children the tools to consider what they would/ wouldnt be comfortable with before they are put in a position where its happening and they haven't thought about it and freeze or aren't sure what to do. Open and informative sexual education is also imperative in safeguarding children from sexual abuse and exploitation because they have the language, knowledge and tools they need to either explain what happened to them or to say no and get themselves to safety as soon as they can.

It's too much. 'Oh but some kids are doing it...some kids are LGBT, some kids watch porn' Yeah but not my kids. Not all kids. Some kids! So why should kids who are no where near ready for this, be subjected to hearing about anal and God know what else? I've seen some of the literature on what is being taught in schools in these classes. I feel sorry for some of the teachers who have to deliver these lessons. Any other adult showing this stuff to kids would be arrested.

Simple facts are that things like anal, and choking, are being normalised to the younger generation through their easy access to porn (which is getting more and more extreme).

Educating teens that what they are seeing in porn is not normal is essential for their safety.

The very top thing to teach kids about anal sex, is that they do not have to have anal or any other kind of sex. Explore feelings and attitudes around being able to say no. Talk about the realities of some of the harms.

Signpost those having sex to more specialist agencies and their GP. Have a nurse in the school trained in safeguarding able to give one to one advice after a session to any pupil confidentially, which could include practical advice and to be alert for abuse.

As the adults, the one main thing is to be safeguarding, which is not to normalise pornographic harmful rhetoric that ‘everyone is having sex including anal which is totally fine if you just to X’. That is extremely harmful.

I even have a 14 year old who is having the lessons at the moment.

I went to a school that taught abstinence and nothing else. Which is why 6 babies had been born by the time we sat our GCSE's. 3 more girls were pregnant.

I am MORE than happy about my children being taught about how to have sex safely, consensually, and as risk free as possible. And they need to be taught NOW, not once they're already doing it left, right and centre. Teach them about safe anal sex now, before someone is injured because a guy is just shoving his dick in with no lube or preparation. Teach them that girls need foreplay for lubrication to stop it being painful (god I wish I had known this!!). I want my sons to be good men, to treat their partners well. And part of that is knowing how to have consensual sex without causing damage.

And if you think your 14 year old knows nothing about anal, you are deluded.

They will know about it from what they see in porn - so they will have absorbed a lot of dangerous nonsense, which has the potential to harm them.

And yes, all children that age will have been exposed to porn in some form. It's utterly depressing, but true.

I would also say that not every child in the group is going to have heterosexual sex. So education needs to accommodate lgbt+ children who's first experience of intimacy might look different from male/female sex. It's just as important for them to get full access to information and resources as any other child.

Yet another stick to bash non parents with. I don’t have children but if I did I would be concerned about them learning about anal sex at school.

Sorry. Just to clarify. You are accusing those that think this is good sex education of being groomers??

SERIOUSLY?????

When Vossy Bop and WAP are popular songs, whilst Only Fans is seen as an aspirational career for young women, whilst extreme porn is accessible and acceptable- we need to give our young women the information that allows them to say no, and for our young man to understand consent.

Exactly why it should be taught. Otherwise boys will see it in porn and think it’s normal. They need to be taught the risks.
plenty of 14 year olds will already be having sex. These lessons are so important, YABU and DD needs to go.

@345name, I am parent of a teen and an upcoming teen. I resent the snide inference that wanting teens to be informed is abusive - does abuse take place yes does grooming take place yes - but it was a hell of a lot worse when teens had no access to fact based information.

Teens are in a space where this anal sex is happening - if any are engaging I want them to have scientific factual information on what is health wise preferable, information on all forms of legal sexual activity and facts on the health risks/concerns/care that goes with each one.

I want them to also know about consent and as I have stated - consent starts with a foundation of information. Why do you feel the 14 year old gay boy (who is engaged/considering anal sex) doesn't deserve the same information their heterosexual peer is given? Because that is what it comes down to.