To think that 14 year olds don’t need educated on sex positions?

[fourelementary]

My dd doesn’t want to go to school this afternoon as she is embarrassed to go to her sex education lesson. I spoke to her about how it was good that young people were being taught about sex and she went into more detail about why she is uncomfortable.
Last week they discussed sexual positions and different ways to have sex including anal. She was mortified and said she doesn’t mind knowing about sex (we’ve always been honest about the birds and the bees from a young age anyway) but she finds this awkward and far too much information about which she has absolutely no interest currently.

I am no prude, but was quite shocked at the detail being discussed and agree with her it’s unnecessary for this age group.

Boys - it's also OK to say no and not feel pressured into it just because you're gay

Exactly.
Its funny how, as our sex ed had become more and more detailed, porn use has gone up and kids started watching it earlier.

said that all the men who abuse their daughters have the same self-justifying rationale- that it is better from their daughters to be ‘taught’ by their own father, rather than learning about sex from elsewhere.

You're comparing sex education taught in a professional setting with appropriate boundaries to rape?

I said YABU, not because I cannot relate to how your daughter and you feel, but because I feel that it is important for them to know this information in order to make informed choices as they enter into sexual relationships. The reality is that while many 14 year olds are not having sex, and don't want to, many teenagers at this age do have sexual relationships.

"You may get asked or coerced into trying things or having things done to your body that don't feel good. At any point it is ok to say stop, I'm not cool with this" "the only way to have safe sex of any kind is to use a condom" (or similar)

That covers anything that isn't appropriate for them to be taught about. The ones so desperate for kids to be taught about anal are seriously weird imo.

Its funny how, as our sex ed had become more and more detailed, porn use has gone up and kids started watching it earlier.

Hahaha. No, it's the increased porn and exposure to sex that makes sex education even more important for our teenagers. You've got it the wrong way round ENTIRELY there. Sex education DOES not increase porn use.

I’ve no idea what risks are mentioned but I have made sure my DCs know that the internet and a desire to grab attention/increase market share has resulted in “mainstream” porn depicting increasing violent and humiliating acts and if you see something that looks like an abusive act then it is an abusive act and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Abusive acts come with risks so you go along with them then still follow your gut and make sure you know what the risks are.

Oh FFS kids aren’t watching more porn because they have sex Ed, it’s because they all have smartphones and high speed broadband and there’s an insane amount of horrible free websites out there.

I was at school late 90s / early 2000s - the only porn available was dirty magazines and a lot of the girls were pregnant before or just after GCSEs.

I taught SRE for a charity for years, and occasionally children would ask questions about anal sex. The more porn is normalised, the more questions we got about it. Another teacher was super nervous discussing it, but we had one boy ask a really obvious question about it once. After, someone spoke to him and it turned out that he had been sexually abused for YEARS, but his abuser told him sex was only penises in vaginas so what they were doing wasn't sex and was therefore totally fine. Since then, I think covering all bases without being too graphic is super important.

But lots of kids are horrified by the thought of learning about the reproductive system and how it works. But we still do it because it's knowledge they have to have?

Since when do we choose NOT to teach children something because they don't like it?

My daughter would also be mortified but I agree important - she needs to process the idea so she has an opinion on it before someone tries or asks for her to do it.

I don't agree, because before we had such disgusting sex ed such as teaching children sex positions, (I mean if that isn't soft porn.) if I child in my classroom drew something, said something or knew something about sex positions, I'd immediately assume someone was sexually abusing that child, because how else would the know?
These days we cannot filter like that anymore because our kids are being taught how to have sex?

Just as a bloody side note, who needs to be taught how to have sex? We have millenia of years of human history and we were all able to do it pretty instinctively.

@Ohhbaby

Teen pregnancy rate has halved since 2011. Gone down even faster among under 16s:

https://www.ons.gov.uk/peoplepopulationandcommunity/birthsdeathsandmarriages/conceptionandfertilityrates/bulletins/conceptionstatistics/2021#:~:text=The%20conception%20rate%20for%20women%20aged%20under%2018%20years%20has,in%202021%20(Figure%202).

More here: https://www.ucl.ac.uk/news/2016/may/teenage-pregnancies-hit-record-low-reflecting-efforts-englands-strategy-reduce-under-18

Lancet paper credits the government's 1999 Teenage Pregnancy Strategy, which included sex ed, as a key reason for this.

YABU. They should be informed because it will come up in relationships, both gay and straight. I'm not into anal sex, but it should definitely be part of sex ed. You sound very prudish.

Mmkay.

Sure its multifactorial, but if you don't think the over sexualisation of children has anything to do with the graphic sex ed, you've not worked with kids from different backgrounds and seen the difference in their porn use or the age at which they start having sex

A sex education class is not sexual abuse FFS and it's supremely offensive to suggest it is.

Consent is not a relevant concept when it comes to a school curriculum.

Seriously, it's idiotic to think kids won't hear about/see this stuff. They will. And if they know nothing about it they may well feel it's normal/expected. Why wouldn't you want them to know about it? It's not something any of us want to think about, but it is life. It's our job to equip them as best we can for the world we are sending them out into. It's a different world to ours at that age, but that's tough luck. This is parenting. It's awkward, uncomfortable and downright ugly, but this is it. Unless you lock them up. As i said above, knowledge is power.

Er, it's not sex education that is causing children to access porn. It's the availability of porn!

When I was a child, porn could only be obtained by buying a magazine or renting a video. Most shops enforced the legal age barrier for these things and would only sell to 18 year olds.

Now, porn is a click of a button away for any child who has a smartphone. That is the problem, not increased sex education.

Uhh you do realise that in sex ed they're teaching anal sex as another option. YOu can do it this way or anal sex. It's not disincentivising anal sex, it's giving them another option to explore. How is this good for teaching them it's NOT healthy

Teenage pregnancies in the UK have decreased actually, but don't let the actual statistics spoil your anti-education rant.