To think that 14 year olds don’t need educated on sex positions?

[fourelementary]

My dd doesn’t want to go to school this afternoon as she is embarrassed to go to her sex education lesson. I spoke to her about how it was good that young people were being taught about sex and she went into more detail about why she is uncomfortable.
Last week they discussed sexual positions and different ways to have sex including anal. She was mortified and said she doesn’t mind knowing about sex (we’ve always been honest about the birds and the bees from a young age anyway) but she finds this awkward and far too much information about which she has absolutely no interest currently.

I am no prude, but was quite shocked at the detail being discussed and agree with her it’s unnecessary for this age group.

Hopefully that is what they are teaching them!

That's a really good point tbh. But equally, a child won't understand the importance of knowing the various things that can happen during sex, so i do think it's good to be educated about it all. As an aside, most kids wouldn't consent to trigonometry, but we make them suffer through it like we did!

The other good thing about anal in particular is no pregnancy so I can see why they might recommend this as it’s safer than the front door.

I’d be deeply unimpressed if teachers were recommending any sexual activity, particularly anal sex. Anal sex isn’t “safer” it carries a high risk of injury if not approached with sufficient care and preparation, particularly for girls given their complex biology. Young people need appropriate information to make fully informed choices, it’s not for anyone to recommend a particular activity, especially authority figures like teachers.

This is commonplace. Britain is broken.

what you need to do is to ring up and say she has a dental appointment due to pain and take her out for that lesson.

Both my dc have been taught specifics of anal sex in school. Lots of specifics. What to wash the area with etc. They try not to listen to it.

what you need to do is to ring up and say she has a dental appointment due to pain and take her out for that lesson.

Or take her out of the lesson and explain why - I can’t fathom why an adult would lie about the reasons for taking their child out of a lesson. If the reason is good enough to remove her, it’s good enough to explain to the school why you’re doing it.

Well then if you have kids in school, you need to watch out. Anal was presented to my kids as similar to vaginal. Ie you can just choose what you’re going to do now. No info as to vagina being structurally more suitable or anything.

That's great they have the option to learn. And the option to ignore as they see fit. Remember that not all kids are like yours, so being educated is important.

Well then if you have kids in school, you need to watch out. Anal was presented to my kids as similar to vaginal. Ie you can just choose what you’re going to do now. No info as to vagina being structurally more suitable or anything.

I do have kids in school, so far I’ve been happy with their sex ed curriculum but I’ll be watching for this. It’s ridiculous that there’s just no thought given to protecting our girls from this, empowering them to stand their ground “because you can just choose”.

I really despair at what our girls are expected to allow and accept.

Well then do you not think it's appropriate to teach them that's it's potentially painful and could cause damage rather than let them find out the hard way? Many teens are engaging in sex including anal and should be learning the facts to make informed decisions in the future

I am assuming the lesson is scientific fact based - so it is information as opposed to advising of particular personal choices.

I do think it is important for all teens to be informed. I imagine for the young gay teen who has to listen to the straight sex information might benefit from learning about safe anal sex. Because it is sending a strong message - sex can be in many forms, and some gay sex may involve anal.

It will trigger important conversations about consent - and yes it is tricky because consent is key. However, a fundamental foundation of consent is being informed. I have a teen - it is really challenging and I do think we are not yet getting the balance right -but the majority of us are trying to ensure those who need information get access to it.

Our sex ed teacher was quite well known and we'd occasionally have the news coming round the school to interview her.

It's always seen me right. Knowledge is power.

Unless the lesson include a video of it happening, she's not being exposed to sexual content.

Educating about anal sex and how to prepare or risks is a good thing.

But sex positions? Like pictures and this is reverse cowgirl, this is missionary, this is eiffel towering etc. Or what?

Do you think that's what they're being taught?

That's the thing though isn't it, how is it taught? That's where consent comes into it. I think it has its place, it's good to know how to do it safely, but equally it should be taught that it's not 'owed' to anyone. Like all and any sex really.

My DC was mortified because it was a mixed sex class (her usual form class) and the teacher was male. It seems that most of the kids were cringing their way through it. Am sure they would have got a lot more out of it if they had separated them by sex and given the girls a female teacher and the boys a male one. Give them the same content by all means but if the classroom situation dials the discomfort up to 11 thar’s bound to have an impact on how the kids engage with the information and how much actually sinks in. Am considering mentioning that next parents’ evening.

@CakeInAJar I'd expect the teaching is lots of focus on informed consent eg

Girls - don't feel pressure. It's OK to say No

Boys - don't pester for it. If someone says No, respect that

We got taught by a nun. All girls but it was still excruciating. She must have found it somewhat interesting as she left the convent a few years after, happened upon her in a nightclub when i was in first year in college!

Nobody at all is saying that though? People are just saying that kids should know about this as it will likely come up and they need to be aware of it and form their own opinions. Keeping them ignorant of these things will do them no favours in the long term.

so many reasons!

It is not at all unusual for children of 14 to have accessed pornography online. If so, they will likely have seen endless videos in which anal sex is shown as something totally routine and something women happily do all the time without even being asked. They may also have seen any number of unsafe ways to have anal sex - moving between anus and vagina, for instance, not using lube, activities risking prolapse. Do you want teenagers thinking this is real life??

It needs to be discussed in the context of telling teenagers that not everyone is doing it, they don’t have to do anything they don’t want and they must never pressure others for it. And then, if they absolutely want to and have a truly willing partner (bearing in mind some of these kids might be gay or bi males, or genuinely curious and interested to try it), there are things that will make it a lot safer and mitigate the risk or harm.

I think some people are assuming the sex Ed is ‘Anal is so fun, here are three positions!’ - obviously that would be very problematic.