To think that 14 year olds don’t need educated on sex positions?

[fourelementary]

My dd doesn’t want to go to school this afternoon as she is embarrassed to go to her sex education lesson. I spoke to her about how it was good that young people were being taught about sex and she went into more detail about why she is uncomfortable.
Last week they discussed sexual positions and different ways to have sex including anal. She was mortified and said she doesn’t mind knowing about sex (we’ve always been honest about the birds and the bees from a young age anyway) but she finds this awkward and far too much information about which she has absolutely no interest currently.

I am no prude, but was quite shocked at the detail being discussed and agree with her it’s unnecessary for this age group.

If porn is becoming more extreme, it's because there's an appetite for it.

If you think teenage boys or men are interested in safe, mutually pleasurable anal sex, maybe ask who is looking at all the extreme porn, and then ask why extreme porn even exists, if sex education is achieving any purpose it sets out to achieve.

Yes, I highlight to my DDs that what is being shown on the internet is increasingly extreme in a spiral for attention which = market share. If something looks abusive and humiliating that’s what it is because there is a market for it but it doesn’t mean they have to do anything they don’t want to do. I’ve stated that it’s up to them ultimately but there are pressures out there now because of porn to do things that I have never been asked to do and wouldn’t have wanted to if I had. I’ve making it clear that I’m not shaming them, I just want them to know if they are being told that “everyone does it” so they should to that this actually isn’t the case.

YANBU. This is why the Govt have launched a review of PSHE teaching.

It’s rife in schools. Anal and pornography being taught as normal, rather than condemned and criticised as being abusive.

Google Playground Voice, Family Education Trust and No Secret Lesson Plans. All sensible orgs trying to stop it.

The stories brought in mandatory sex ed, but didn’t bring lesson plans from DfE with it. They outsourced it all to cottage industry queer theory porn sick lunatics - with disastrous consequences. I dread DS starting secondary school.

Sex ed will not stop people having extreme kinks and we aren't saying it will, that's twisting what's said.

Sex ed gives young people the knowledge and vocabulary for when they encounter these things. So that if something happens to them they know what it is. They know things like "You're still a virgin if we do anal" or "it's ok if it's anal, sex is only PIV" or "choking is normal. You're weird if you don't like it" or "it's supposed to hurt the first time" aren't true.

It's not some miracle 'fix all'. And it won't happen instantly. But hopefully starting to include will mean we see a decrease in injuries from anal, less girls and women reporting being choked without consent in time. Just like we've seen that teaching sex ed beyond "sex is for marriage and babies. Don't have sex until marriage." has slowed teen pregnancies and decreased STIs somewhat...

I maintain that there is no place for teaching about any kinks, sexual positions or anal sex in a school setting. Despite the posters claiming all the kids are being exposed to porn, they actually aren't and they aren't all ready for this. Lots of them haven't even had their first kiss! And now we are teaching them about lube and anal. If choking and anal is on the rise in teenagers, then this extreme sex ed they've been getting doesn't seem to be reducing it. I wonder why!
Parents, check what your childs school is planning to teach in these classes.

Parents, check what your childs school is planning to teach in these classes

I’d sincerely hope all those posters getting themselves in a froth about sex ed have actually looked at the materials their schools are planning to use. I’d hope they haven’t merely read a paragraph in the OPs post and got themselves in a tizz. I do know the materials my kids schools are using and have no concerns. They’re not being shown positions, or told how to have anal or survive choking or being updated on the latest kinks. Just clear, sensible, safe information about sex centred on consent.

That's a very optimistic POV imo. It's not just your kid's exposure, but the exposure of all the other kids they come in contact with. That's going to be a lot of kids, and a lot of different circumstances. I really strongly believe that educating kids and equipping them with information is the way forward.

^^^ THIS.

The naivety of some posters is quite shocking. Teaching children about something in school is NOT normalising it. Your children may not be seeking out porn, but they are spending time with children who are, and who can watch it on their phone at any time.

The more we can teach teenagers that the porn they see is not typical, the better. I think people don't realise how bad things are on Pornhub and similar sites. Believe me, you do not want your children learning about sex from the internet.

I'm also pretty sure, by the way, people who practise safe BDSM are against the rise of choking etc in porn too. Because what's seen in porn doesn't cover all the things like "safe, sane, consensual" and aftercare which are actually part of the scene. These things make their lives harder.
I know there was an outcry after 50 Shades came out because it was supposedly portraying a healthy BDSM relationship but it didn't for a number of reasons.

If choking and anal is on the rise in teenagers, then this extreme sex ed they've been getting doesn't seem to be reducing it. I wonder why!

Well, that's because it's not an instant thing... the rise is happening now so the teaching is catching up with it.

Despite the posters claiming all the kids are being exposed to porn, they actually aren't and they aren't all ready for this.

They absolutely are. Anecdata of “my child hasn’t” doesn’t make it untrue.

Believe me, you do not want your children learning about sex from the internet.

Or other kids.

That's it. Anyone who doesn't realise this is entirely deluded.

Could you share a link, or the name, of any books that give clear instructions on how to give a blow job that are aimed at K-yr 5 please?

To think that 14 year olds don’t need educated on sex positions?

"don't need TO BE educated..." or "don't need EDUCATING..."

Since we're talking about education.

Do you think they are being warned of the dangers or do you think it is being normalised? You might be underestimating how uncomfortable girls can be made to feel in school.

Er; that Is definitely not the cause. It’s access to phones all the time

That particular poster probably gets at attack of the vapours over telling teenagers that anything other than sex between heterosexual married couples for the purpose of having children is okay.

I remember a mum when son was year 5 that got the vapours and kicked off enormously because a book in the classroom had an image of a family with two Dads. That was all it was, a cartoon image. Apparently this was teaching the kids to be gay 🙄

I’m sorry, there is a HUGE gulf between someone who objects to books about gay couples being parents and discussing anal sex, positions and choking in detail to barely pubescent children without their parents being happy with it. The idea that “all kids watch porn” is the new “all men watch porn” and is aggressively defended for no other reason than to admit to yourself this isn’t true is to face shame. Shame is a hideous emotion that most people will go to tremendous lengths not to experience. We should be stopping the porn, certainly stopping ANY way of accessing it under 18.

Where do we have any evidence that anal sex, positions and choking are being taught IN DETAIL? There isn't any. There is evidence that there is discussion around it, about just because it happens in porn, doesn't mean you have to say yes to it.

And sorry, but anyone who thinks teen boys don't see any porn is simply naive. This doesn't mean they regularly watch it, but it does mean they have been exposed to it. And girls too. If you have any magic method of stopping access to it for under 18's, most of the world would like to know the answer. Because there simply isn't a way.

It doesn't need to be defended, the data is clear:

https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp.theguardian.com/society/2023/jan/31/one-in-10-children-have-watched-pornography-by-time-they-are-nine

https://www.childrenscommissioner.gov.uk/resource/a-lot-of-it-is-actually-just-abuse-young-people-and-pornography/

1 in 10 children exposed to pornography before age 9.

25% by the end of primary school.

50% by age 13.

79% have seen pornography involving violence by age 18.

Gender Queer. It's a book that was in the elementary school libraries at public schools across the US. Teachers and librarians were teaching that book, using it for story time in the library and in classes.

I’d have been mortified about that and I went to an all girls school. It would have been even worse in a mixed school. Things like that were best left for Position of the Week in Just 17 (I think) 😂 DH and I had a fab time trying them out ‘Superman’, the ‘Wheelbarrow’. Some of them were really weird 🙄

Have you read it? I'm just about to.

I need to google more extensively but I can't find any information about it being used for younger children, story time, or anything similar. Just outcry over it being in the libraries of high schools and some middle schools.

What my kids are taught in school is gross. I actually think the guidance teacher gets off on it. Anal, group sex, arse licking.

All this does is normalise stuff that's really only common in porn. Presenting it in a school setting makes it "normal", which in turn becomes "expected" by the boys. And as usual, it's the girls who are pressured and objectified.

Best thing we can teach young girls is " fuck off".