Page 16 | To think that 14 year olds don’t need educated on sex positions?

fourelementary · 2023-10-03T06:42:52+00:00

My dd doesn’t want to go to school this afternoon as she is embarrassed to go to her sex education lesson. I spoke to her about how it was good that young people were being taught about sex and she went into more detail about why she is uncomfortable. Last week they discussed sexual positions and different ways to have sex including anal. She was mortified and said she doesn’t mind knowing about sex (we’ve always been honest about the birds and the bees from a young age anyway) but she finds this awkward and far too much information about which she has absolutely no interest currently. I am no prude, but was quite shocked at the detail being discussed and agree with her it’s unnecessary for this age group.

ButWhatAboutTheBees · 04/10/2023 18:35

PandaExpress · 04/10/2023 18:31

You literally said that some heterosexual couples do it and do it safely like any other form of sex. Of course that's normalising it.

Some women like swinging and being whipped. Should they teach that too?

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So it's normalising it to mention SOME people do it? No. That says it's something SOME people do. And I didn't say they do it safely, I said make sure you are safe...

I think we should mention there are a wide variety of sexual desires out there, yes. We don't have to teach HOW they are done. But acting like they don't exist doesn't help either. Mentioning there are things like BDSM and they should be carefully researched if they interest you, they should be expected and they aren't common (using normal can shame people) once again equips people with the right langauge and knowledge should they be in the situation

I don't think we should kinkshame tbh. We all like different things and it's ok to like the more kinky things...

Ohthatsabitshit · 04/10/2023 18:50

I honestly don’t think you need this level of input from school. Beyond some people find specific things arousing, like anal penetration, hurting and humiliating, choking or dressing up and that some of these can cause physical and emotional harm, why are the details necessary?

ButWhatAboutTheBees · 04/10/2023 18:55

Ohthatsabitshit · 04/10/2023 18:50

I honestly don’t think you need this level of input from school. Beyond some people find specific things arousing, like anal penetration, hurting and humiliating, choking or dressing up and that some of these can cause physical and emotional harm, why are the details necessary?

We don't KNOW that isn't what happened because OP hasn't come back to clarify.

No one is suggesting details beyond what you've suggested and a few basic safety precautions like make sure to use lube, preparation and be clean which frankly are useful for "normal" sex, although some seem to think they are showing detailed videos and doing practicals

StephanieSuperpowers · 04/10/2023 19:14

I don't think we should kinkshame tbh. We all like different things and it's ok to like the more kinky things...

I don't care how much of a prude it makes me, but I don't want anyone discussing kink in terms either of shame or approval, with my school aged child.

PandaExpress · 04/10/2023 19:14

@ButWhatAboutTheBees It's not about shaming other adults kinks. It's the fact no kinks should be taught by teachers in a classroom. Including anal. Stick to biology, which includes protection from STDs, body anatomy and consent. That's it.
What kind of nanny state are we living in, that we have schools teaching our children about different kinks? And yet they have no time or funding for so many things that they should be teaching.
So many teachers themselves don't agree we should be teaching this stuff, they don't want to do it. And lots of children don't want to hear it yet. Where is the sexual consent in that? It's the very opposite of consent.

Spacehopperno1 · 04/10/2023 19:33

If the teacher that my DD has had giving her sex ed so far goes into any details about kinks I don’t think I’ll ever get her to go to school again 😆 Is bad enough the running text commentary I get about what is being said as it is, she’d definitely follow through on her “Next week this is just not happening” threats 🏃‍♀️

ButWhatAboutTheBees · 04/10/2023 19:33

StephanieSuperpowers · 04/10/2023 19:14

I don't think we should kinkshame tbh. We all like different things and it's ok to like the more kinky things...

I don't care how much of a prude it makes me, but I don't want anyone discussing kink in terms either of shame or approval, with my school aged child.

That last comment was in regard to some of the posts here implying adults engaging in these actions are not normal or are depraved etc

ButWhatAboutTheBees · 04/10/2023 19:36

PandaExpress · 04/10/2023 19:14

@ButWhatAboutTheBees It's not about shaming other adults kinks. It's the fact no kinks should be taught by teachers in a classroom. Including anal. Stick to biology, which includes protection from STDs, body anatomy and consent. That's it.
What kind of nanny state are we living in, that we have schools teaching our children about different kinks? And yet they have no time or funding for so many things that they should be teaching.
So many teachers themselves don't agree we should be teaching this stuff, they don't want to do it. And lots of children don't want to hear it yet. Where is the sexual consent in that? It's the very opposite of consent.

Again
It's not teaching them HOW to do it. It's just including that these things exist and they may well encounter them. And if they do that there are dangers and protections they need to be aware of. Just the same as PIV and the STI concerns.

Like we were told at school that blow jobs and coldsores were a bad mix

PandaExpress · 04/10/2023 20:00

ButWhatAboutTheBees · 04/10/2023 19:36

Again
It's not teaching them HOW to do it. It's just including that these things exist and they may well encounter them. And if they do that there are dangers and protections they need to be aware of. Just the same as PIV and the STI concerns.

Like we were told at school that blow jobs and coldsores were a bad mix

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I definitely wasn't taught anything about blow jobs in school! I'm over 40.I know I didn't, because I clearly remember asking my mum what they were.
I don't think school should be even talking about kinks full stop.
Why would any parent actively want school to teach their children about kinks? There is a world of helpful knowledge not being taught in schools. Why kinks?? The school system is thoroughly screwed!

Ohthatsabitshit · 04/10/2023 20:28

Do you really think this makes for a happier society?

Chickenkeev · 04/10/2023 20:29

PandaExpress · 04/10/2023 20:00

I definitely wasn't taught anything about blow jobs in school! I'm over 40.I know I didn't, because I clearly remember asking my mum what they were.
I don't think school should be even talking about kinks full stop.
Why would any parent actively want school to teach their children about kinks? There is a world of helpful knowledge not being taught in schools. Why kinks?? The school system is thoroughly screwed!

Show quote history

This stuff is out there. Unpalatable as it is, they will be seeing and hearing about it. They need to learn about it. It's vital they learn, it's sad that it's needed when they're so young, but it's necessary.

Needmorelego · 04/10/2023 20:50

@PandaExpress I am 48. We were taught about blow jobs and anal sex during sex education lessons at my school but not
taught "how" to do it 🙄 but simply told that it's a method that exists. Basically told that were different ways to have and enjoy sex. We were told that sex is both for creating babies and sometimes simply for fun.
There was a very big emphasis on safe sex (this was still AIDS panic era). We were taught all different methods of contraception for both family planning reasons and safe sex reasons.
We had big discussions on age of consent etc.
I don't see any problems with telling 14 year olds that.

Yazo · 04/10/2023 21:08

@Needmorelego exactly, it's worth being told it exists, most of them even the most embarrassed teen will have read about it or seen it. When I was 14 I was pretty preoccupied with the topic, not that I'd have told anyone. Also I'd be glad the school are covering it, although I intend to myself, I see it as supportive for them to have those conversations with their peers and a responsible adult.

ButWhatAboutTheBees · 04/10/2023 21:11

PandaExpress · 04/10/2023 20:00

I definitely wasn't taught anything about blow jobs in school! I'm over 40.I know I didn't, because I clearly remember asking my mum what they were.
I don't think school should be even talking about kinks full stop.
Why would any parent actively want school to teach their children about kinks? There is a world of helpful knowledge not being taught in schools. Why kinks?? The school system is thoroughly screwed!

Show quote history

They didn't call them blow jobs, they said oral sex

And they weren't showing us how to do them! They were discussing STIs and being safe.

Or do you want kids getting Herpes because they don't know you can give someone Herpes from a cold sore?

PandaExpress · 04/10/2023 21:13

Needmorelego · 04/10/2023 20:50

@PandaExpress I am 48. We were taught about blow jobs and anal sex during sex education lessons at my school but not
taught "how" to do it 🙄 but simply told that it's a method that exists. Basically told that were different ways to have and enjoy sex. We were told that sex is both for creating babies and sometimes simply for fun.
There was a very big emphasis on safe sex (this was still AIDS panic era). We were taught all different methods of contraception for both family planning reasons and safe sex reasons.
We had big discussions on age of consent etc.
I don't see any problems with telling 14 year olds that.

But what about what this thread is talking about? Different sexual positions? Kinks? And how to have safe anal sex?
This is far beyond what you've described there. Sex ed has moved on past 'Sex is for making babies and also fun between consenting adults. Here's what STDs are and this is how to protect yourself against them'
We have outside agencies producing sex ed classes that are far, far beyond that and this information is being shared with children who are younger and younger.
Some are portraying anybody who questions this as being hysterical, pearl clutches. But that's not the case. We as a society need to actually look at what is being taught to our children in these classes and decide if this is the right way. We also need to step up and stop children from being sexualised too young. Just saying "Well some of them watch chocking and anal porn now, so let's teach all children, all the kinks"
We can do better at protecting children, than this!

Needmorelego · 04/10/2023 21:24

@PandaExpress the OP said her daughter didn't want to go to the lessons because she felt embarrassed about learning about anal sex - that's what the thread started off about not about all different "kinks" etc.
Anyway - all parents have the right to find out what the curriculum is for sex education and still have the right to remove their children from those lessons.
If every parent did this and the teacher had no class to teach them schools might think "hmmm....maybe we need to change this".
But most parents don't bother..they just complain afterwards.

Needmorelego · 04/10/2023 21:25

@PandaExpress infact the OP only posted once....

YetMoreNewBeginnings · 04/10/2023 21:28

*"Well some of them watch chocking and anal porn now, so let's teach all children, all the kinks"

Not a single person has said that.

You really are determined to twist what people say.

It’s a pity as it would have been a good thread to have a decent debate about the fact that the consumption of porn and it getting more and more extreme and the effects on teens, but once it gets to the point of calling teachers groomers it’s a waste of time.

PandaExpress · 04/10/2023 21:28

Needmorelego · 04/10/2023 21:25

@PandaExpress infact the OP only posted once....

But the OP did say they were teaching different positions...
Others have mentioned about teaching various kinks.
You've quite literally agreed with me that we as parents and as a society need to examine this topic.

Chickenkeev · 04/10/2023 21:30

PandaExpress · 04/10/2023 21:13

But what about what this thread is talking about? Different sexual positions? Kinks? And how to have safe anal sex?
This is far beyond what you've described there. Sex ed has moved on past 'Sex is for making babies and also fun between consenting adults. Here's what STDs are and this is how to protect yourself against them'
We have outside agencies producing sex ed classes that are far, far beyond that and this information is being shared with children who are younger and younger.
Some are portraying anybody who questions this as being hysterical, pearl clutches. But that's not the case. We as a society need to actually look at what is being taught to our children in these classes and decide if this is the right way. We also need to step up and stop children from being sexualised too young. Just saying "Well some of them watch chocking and anal porn now, so let's teach all children, all the kinks"
We can do better at protecting children, than this!

Show quote history

You are not protecting children by keeping them ignorant. They will be exposed to this stuff and they need to know about it. Keeping them in the dark is the opposite of protecting them.

PandaExpress · 04/10/2023 21:31

YetMoreNewBeginnings · 04/10/2023 21:28

*"Well some of them watch chocking and anal porn now, so let's teach all children, all the kinks"

Not a single person has said that.

You really are determined to twist what people say.

It’s a pity as it would have been a good thread to have a decent debate about the fact that the consumption of porn and it getting more and more extreme and the effects on teens, but once it gets to the point of calling teachers groomers it’s a waste of time.

I haven't called teachers groomers. Not once. I have expressed sympathy for them because lots of them are saying they don't agree with teaching this stuff.
'Teaching all the kinks' I was summarising things that have been said on this thread.
The OP wasn't about porn becoming more extreme though. It was about sex ed in schools.

Needmorelego · 04/10/2023 21:32

@PandaExpress yes I do agree with you that some of the subject needs to be looked at. However the OP (in their one and only post) didn't go into detail about what "positions" were being talked about in her daughters class. We really have no idea what was being taught in her daughters lesson.

ButWhatAboutTheBees · 04/10/2023 21:34

PandaExpress · 04/10/2023 21:13

But what about what this thread is talking about? Different sexual positions? Kinks? And how to have safe anal sex?
This is far beyond what you've described there. Sex ed has moved on past 'Sex is for making babies and also fun between consenting adults. Here's what STDs are and this is how to protect yourself against them'
We have outside agencies producing sex ed classes that are far, far beyond that and this information is being shared with children who are younger and younger.
Some are portraying anybody who questions this as being hysterical, pearl clutches. But that's not the case. We as a society need to actually look at what is being taught to our children in these classes and decide if this is the right way. We also need to step up and stop children from being sexualised too young. Just saying "Well some of them watch chocking and anal porn now, so let's teach all children, all the kinks"
We can do better at protecting children, than this!

Show quote history

It's exactly what this thread is about... explaining there are different sexual positions and kinks. About making sure that kids are taught to be safe (because safe sex goes beyond "use a condom") during sex.

People are taking these words and making out that what's actually being suggested it some sort of detailed "How To" series of lessons. With videos, props and live demonstrations.

Parents CAN request to see lesson plans for sex Ed and withdraw their child if they wish.

It's not "Let's teach them all the kinks" it's "we known kids are seeing this. So let's make sure they have some understanding of what they are seeing as it's too late to stop them"

None of which is saying we shouldn't be doing more to protect our children from these things (because we should be trying to find ways to protect them from seeing this stuff)...

ButWhatAboutTheBees · 04/10/2023 21:36

@PandaExpress
You didn't but at least 2 posters have called or implied teachers are groomers and need "looking into" if they teach sex ed

YetMoreNewBeginnings · 04/10/2023 21:51

PandaExpress · 04/10/2023 21:31

I haven't called teachers groomers. Not once. I have expressed sympathy for them because lots of them are saying they don't agree with teaching this stuff.
'Teaching all the kinks' I was summarising things that have been said on this thread.
The OP wasn't about porn becoming more extreme though. It was about sex ed in schools.

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Porn becoming more extreme, and so easily accessible to teens, is part of the reason sex Ed must include things like safe anal sex as it’s the reason so many people are turning up to a&e with injuries from doing it wrongly.

That folks are determined to ignore that and pretend that teens can be completely protected from the impact of it doesn’t change that it’s a fact.