To ask you to share what the first 6 weeks of being a new mum looked like for you?

[limegreenwellies]

Just trying to set my expectations of what being a new parent is like.... my mum says she went out for lunch when I was one day old and played badminton the following week and that I'm 'being pessimistic about how difficult it will be'.... I know it 100% depends on what your baby is like and how the birth goes and what support you have, but just curious to know what it was like for others!

I had a cs so limited movement but tbh it was fine. I co slept and breastfed, sling the rest of the time and it felt effortless, i remember feeling a bit blissed out tbh. I was a farmer and was back clipping sheep within weeks.

Dont worry i paid for that bliss with a horrendous divorce and crippling stress ever since 🤣

Some of it was absolutely fine. I had a very straightforward birth, barely slept in hospital for 36 hours and then got home with initially a good start, getting out and about etc followed by a nightmarish period of a few weeks where we could not get breastfeeding established at all, and ending up back in hospital. I have to say even in the good bits I spent a month or so feeling as if my organs were going to subside out of my bottom if I stood up for too long, so badminton would NOT have been a choice.

I'd ask a bit more of your mum- how old was she, how long was her labour, how did feeding go? But yes, there's every chance you'll have some bits that are fine. Very small babies CAN be very portable and sleepy which does let you do stuff.

Approximately..
Day1-4 Totally hyped on how amazing it all was
Days 5-10 Bit of a physical crash as the reality of cluster feeding and episiotomy stitches kicked in. Rested a lot more.
From then on it was steady progress. Doing things for the first time eg taking baby out in the sling, going to a friend's house, getting the bus felt scary but my confidence grew quickly. By 3 weeks I was getting the bus solo into town for lunch out, at 6 weeks I caught a train and had a solo day out meeting a friend.

But I was tired and it took months to feel totally physically recovered. I couldn't have played badminton at week two 😁

Difficult birth and ill baby so was in hospital until day 11. At six weeks I was still in a lot of pain and struggling with a poor feeder.

Couldn't move properly after c section. Pain. No sleep. Lots of tears. Awful post natal depression dismissed as "baby blues" by midwife.

I don't think you can plan at all... don't know how the birth will go or how the baby will be.

My expectations were to have no expectations!

I had an elcs and just wanted to recover and chill with the baby. She had loads of issues latching on so I needed to establish breastfeeding which wasn't easy.

It was such a lovely time though, I totally adored her. I'd go to the shops from week 1 and people were always popping in. Babies sleep a lot during the day so we'd often go out for lunch or dinner with her in a car seat.

By 6 weeks we'd go out to baby groups and were a bit more social. By 3 months were in a very loose routine.

Dont put any pressure on yourslef, just do things at your pace. Enjoy it it's wonderful 😊

Currently nursing a 4 week old whose trapped wind/ gassiness prevents him from napping unless being wheeled about in the pram (so much for ‘sleep when the baby sleeps) and keeps him up most of the night. Surviving on a few hours sleep a night and lunches and badminton are most definitely not an option. You must have been an easy baby!

Very up and down. Physically difficult because of a CS.

I did fly transatlantically with DD at 3 months but that was a huge effort as well.

😴😵‍💫😴🤯😨

pretty much sums it up

It was absolute bliss. I spent my days cuddling and feeding my baby, in a sort of baby bubble.

I didn’t bother cooking or cleaning, I left that to DH. It was one of the happiest times of my life.

Parents always claim they were running marathons on day 7 or something.

When my dd cried mum said "you never cried!"

Think these things are to be taken with big pinch of salt

Day one/two I was excited. After that the exhaustion overtook and it was hell for a very long time due to lack of sleep. Around age 2/3 things started to improve and by school age I was loving being a mum. It's been plain sailing since then, but those first couple years were bad.

A few days at home resting then I felt fine to go out for walks. I had summer babies so weather was nice. Met NCT mums for coffee. Had family and friends visit. Made them wash up/ fold laundry.

Once a week NCT gang would go to the baby clinic (church hall) to get our babies weighed. Health visitor always asked if we'd like to stay but we used to go to the pub instead. Got a great tan in the beer garden!

Nights were pretty horrendous. I cried quite a lot because I was being woken every few hours. DP slept in spare room and did the 10pm feed so I could get my head down. Tried the baby whisperer bollocks before throwing it in the bin.

HV diagnosed PND and gave practical advice to put crying baby on the floor and take myself to the bottom of the garden for 15 minutes if I felt it was getting to be too much. Nobody ever talks about feeling like you're losing your shit so it was helpful to know I wasn't a bad mother, just absolutely knackered.

Managed to get to a wedding reception at 4 weeks but my boobs were throbbing on the dance floor so didn't stay out too late.

It's bloody hard work but you survive. And they're so worth it!

I made a full banoffee pie the day after my son was born.

Then reality set in and I was KNACKERED. The first 3 days or so it was like I was still full of adrenaline then it was awful.

The first 2 weeks it was nice to share the duties with my DH as he was on pat leave. Then once he went back to work I felt very lonely and bored.

Its all a bit of a blur though mostly.

To be honest I had a harder time once he was 9-20 weeks or so because he NEVER SLEPT in the day. He was the only newborn I've ever heard of that would be awake and fussing literally all day.

It really depends on 2 things.
How well can you cope with no sleep.
How well can you cope with having no more free time to yourself to just "be"

I was induced and labour was pretty long - went in Saturday, baby born early hours Tuesday and then home Wednesday morning.

I was emotional and so tired I was seeing things out of the corner of my eye the first couple of days. I was also shaky and desperate for sugar, I had lots of orange juice. I dreaded DH going back to work - I think that was all hormonal emotions.

I spent a lot of time at home, people visited and we went out as a family, but I don't think I went out on my own with my son until he was 4 weeks old! And just to the park and back. Once I'd done that it got easier and I was then out and about. That sounds mad written down but it went by quickly.

With my second I was driving out to the coast within a couple of weeks (c section so had to wait a bit) and just generally picked up where life had left off.

It's different for everyone. For me those first few weeks at home with my first baby were lovely and I felt in absolutely no rush to be going out, baby groups etc. I was in a little bubble and I loved it.

I remember the first six weeks being more tired than I ever realised I could be. Those first six weeks were a haze but lots of early naps were needed to get through the day. (After DH had gone back to work before that we split sleeping between us and were able to do things a bit more) that being said in the afternoons when he was back at work I was still able to do things like buggy walks, going to shops or visitors. I did take baby with me to the local community pub's Christmas Dinner and raffle one afternoon as she was born around Christmas time :)

Emergency section (both times) followed by raging PND (both times) culminating in suicidal ideation (both times).

Not a bright and rosy story, but one that isn’t shared enough. It can happen. It’s nothing to be ashamed of if it does.

The first time round I spent the first week in shock following an emergency C-section and got the first 6 weeks every time I breastfed it felt like razor blades on my nipples.

Second time round I had a much easier recovery after a successful VBAC and felt great (apart from some nasty postpartum piles) and breastfeeding was easy and painless.

Nothing can prepare you for the lack of sleep though. Just go with it. It gets better eventually.

I was very, very fortunate. I had a easy birth and breastfeeding went well, even with two bouts of mastitis. There was the lack of sleep which is to be expected, but overall it was lovely. It was one of the best times of my life.

I've often thought about how our attitudes can impact our experiences as new mums. I never had a feeling of dread before my first was born, and I never had anyone filling my head with tales of their nightmarish experiences. I didn't ever think, "Oh god, this is going to be awful." I think having a lot of negative preconceived notions about the newborn stage can be very detrimental. Quite recently, I was in a group of women, one of whom was expecting her first, and several of these women were just bombarding her with loads of dreadful stories about how miserable they were, how awful the newborn stage is, etc, etc. I was mortified, honestly. Why would you say those things to a woman about to have her first baby?

I found it very very difficult and lonely for the first at least six weeks. I was in love with my baby of course but I was very low, beyond tired and found literally everything impossible to do or figure out.

Second baby everything was lovely. The main difference was that I knew how to feed a baby so he slept and I did not get mastitis.

I was so excited and delighted I hardly remember, everyone kept asking if I was OK, I was beyond. She didn't sleep, but I was pretty clueless and assumed that was normal. Just enjoy it. Pretty bad delivery but I was just so thrilled she was OK. I didn't want to do much really during the first few weeks too much to get used to and find time to sleep.

For a more positive story: blissful.

After an awful pregnancy recovery from c section was a walk in the park. Literally was strolling round one a week later. By 3 weeks I was largely feeling physically recovered. Breastfeeding went surprisingly straightforward and my baby did sleep as least enough for everyone to get some rest.

I also heard nothing but horror stories about how awful the newborn stage is but honestly for me it was great. Now he's older and needs full time entertainment I find it more tiring.

Thank you everyone, really helpful reading these!

@PermanentTemporary @Randomuser9876 on parent / mums - my mum swings between "oh well if you think you've got it bad, when I was...." and "oh it'll be fine stop thinking the worst, when I had you..." which is always fun...

I think I'm just being 'negative' because my expectations of pregnancy were SO wrong.. I was NOT prepared for 25 weeks of sickness, all the symptoms, sore ligaments and joints, headaches etc that I've spent most of the time being pregnant either feeling rotten, or feeling guilty that I feel rotten, or feeling guilty that I feel rotten because I don't feel 'rotten enough' to complain.... that I'm just trying to remove all expectations I have for the first weeks and just take it as it comes! But super useful to see others experiences to get a sense of the variety

I’ve just hit the 6 week mark now with #2. It’s been different this time round to say the least. I’m regularly trapped feeding the baby while my toddler climbs to a dangerous height or empties the contents of the food cupboard all over the kitchen floor 😭 it has been a lot more stressful than last time!

The actual baby part is fine. It’s just quite repetitive with changing nappies, feeding, washing bottles, expressing etc etc. I seem to go round in a 2-3 hour cycle of doing all the same things again and again. I’ve just not set unrealistic targets this time of places I’m going or committed to too much. I has a csection so needed a lot of help at first but since I’ve been fully mobile again it’s fine! Just structure your day with one thing at first like a walk, trip to the supermarket or a class. Don’t aim to have a shower in the mornings when you’re on your own at first, just have a shower in peace when you have help. Sit your clothes and baby’s clothes out the night before too and it just speeds the whole thing up as I find the worst part of the day is the drawn out process of trying to get ready and never quite getting there because things keep happening