To ask you to share what the first 6 weeks of being a new mum looked like for you?

[limegreenwellies]

Just trying to set my expectations of what being a new parent is like.... my mum says she went out for lunch when I was one day old and played badminton the following week and that I'm 'being pessimistic about how difficult it will be'.... I know it 100% depends on what your baby is like and how the birth goes and what support you have, but just curious to know what it was like for others!

Both times they were the best weeks of my life.
I had planned sections for them both and my recovery was great both times.

First
2 nights in hospital. Got back and had visitors within an hour (my choice). I went out every day, mostly visiting cafes and eating a lot of cake. We shared night feeds equally so I wasn't particularly tired. I slept far worse in pregnancy so it was nice to rest up a bit.

3 weeks in I hosted a party for about 30 people and did a lot of baking. I was going out and about to places like the zoo by this stage. As I was bottle feeding, I was able to do things like using a night out with friends etc.

Second
Obviously was different as we had a toddler as well. Within the first week we'd been out to a couple of cafes, a restaurant, shopping, a day trip to see friends and had friends over for a bbq.
I was going up and down slides at soft play within about 2 weeks.

Baby was far less settled than my first, and she refused a bottle from birth, so she ended up being exclusively breastfed, but that worked fine. She was colicky in the evening, but a walk in the sling helped, as did bouncing on a ball. From about 6-11pm each night she would either be crying or on the boobs, so I played a lot on my phone (she found the tv a distraction). She wasn't a good sleeper so I was knackered, but a lot less than I'd be later on.

We went on holiday abroad at 6w, as I figured an evening walk on the beach was far nicer than home. We had a great time - the toddler was much harder than the baby.

I personally found newborn the easiest time by far. I've found my children got harder (and night sleep deteriorated!) as they became toddlers.

I'm lucky though in that I didn't get any baby blues. I felt hormonally charged and emotional, but only felt happy emotions. I felt like I could take on the world. I didn't find it overwhelming or stressful, it was like I'd found what I was meant to do in life. My happy place was having a newborn.

If I could repeat postpartum for the rest of my life I'd be a very happy woman.

You never, never know what kind of a human you're going to end up with! Luck of the draw.

Barely able to sit up independently because of a complicated c-section.
a daze of exhaustion syringe feeding a newborn around the clock.
daily trips to the hospital for checkups on the baby because of some minor issues
a baby who screamed every second she wasn’t touching me and only me. Even though dad was there from the beginning and trying hard

it was an absolute exhausting, all encompassing daze with a high needs baby that nearly broke me mentally and physically.

honestly the whole first year was as tough, but it did get better at the 4 week mark and again at the 6 week mark.

With both babies, DH took a month off work (two weeks paternity leave, two weeks holiday) We spent a lot of time at home. Just cozy, resting, getting used to breastfeeding, bonding with baby. Being home to see the midwife and health visitor when they called. After the first week or so, having visitors. It was a beautiful time. I think we went out for a little walk after a week or so. We just took things nice and slow, to get into the new routine. I don't get the rush to get back to normal. It's a rare time, to slow everything down and enjoy just being together and wonder at your new baby. I look back at it fondly.

Twins born mid Dec. I remember cooking Xmas lunch. Lunatic. The 4 yo fell off the chair and I couldn't get him because I have a newborn and a c section scar. Lunch was basically cold. The rest I can't remember. I think 6-10 weeks was when the exhaustion kicked in and I cried in the night about my babies only crying to punish me because they didn't love me. Twas rough.

DD had birth complications and we nearly lost her so once she was in the clear at 2 weeks old I strapped her into her sling and took her everywhere from London to a park run at 4 weeks old. I was just so excited to have her with me. I ignored cleaning, tidying and cooking and generally just snuggled with her at every opportunity. I had no visitors as DH and I wanted our family of 3 to have our own settling in period those first 8 weeks.

This.

To this day I still get angry when people imply that your life shouldn’t be turned upside down just because you had a baby or that mothers should be able to manage any given situation easily. Some women have easy births and some parents have easy babies. Those of us that didn’t have a very different experience. Putting expectations on new mothers is where problems start.

once your baby is here, just accept that whatever kind of baby you have is the kind of mother you need to be. The sooner you give into it, the easier it gets. Once I put aside expectations of how things should be done and just listened to what my quirky baby needed, our lives were much happier, still hard, but much happier.

You have to tune out everyone else which is difficult if you don’t get a textbook baby, but it’s the best thing any new mother can do.

I had an assisted delivery (forceps) with an episiotomy. Took me til the end of day 2 to be able to walk due to the spinal block and my stitches degraded by day 10 so wasn’t really up to walking far/at all or joyfully sitting enjoying lunch and cake for at least the first couple of weeks. DD had persistent jaundice which wouldn’t go away so we were in and out of hospital, as well as a tongue tie which was snipped on day 8. I developed mastitis in week 3 and was admitted back in to hospital to resolve it by the end of week 4. Pretty shit time, all in all.

my mum says she went out for lunch when I was one day old and played badminton the following week and that I'm 'being pessimistic about how difficult it will be'

Good for her. She sounds a bit annoying, and like she won't be that sympathetic if you have complications. After DD1 I haemorrhaged and could barely stand without fainting the day after. After DD2 I was totally fine physically, although I had stitches that were sore so probably wouldn't have been on top badminton form.

Following an induction and being stitched up to my eyeballs, I spent the first 6 weeks struggling with an infection in my stitches, mastitis, and overwhelming tiredness.

My baby had cmpa so the first 6 weeks were awful, constant screaming baby with no way of helping. No support, lots of people saying "babies do cry you know" and lots of obsessive googling while crying. Eventually we worked it out and things got better from there.

Just awful. Endless pain from emcs recovery, remembering pain relief, bf was a mess, visitors expecting to be waited on, mess, my blood and baby poop on sheets, laundry piling up. 17 years on and it still feels awful.
Baby number 2 was much easier. She was happy to be easily bf and I banned visitors.

With a very long labor and home birth, I popped a paracetamol and hopped into bed in disbelief over the whole ordeal. Baby only slept the first night and I had 3 hours of broken sleep a night for the next 6 weeks. It was a constant cycle of painful breastfeeding, changing nappy, nap, and back to feeding. I had visitors the next day and then 2 days later and I was still on a high at that point so the exhaustion hadn't kicked in. I went grocery shopping on day 3 but was still bleeding and the shellshock kicked in after the first week. I was very sweaty and swollen for a couple of weeks too, with lots of hot flushes. My milk didn't come in for at least 5 days, but then I was very engorged and it would spurt everywhere so I was often sat with towels to mop up whilst feeding from the other side. Baby was awake for increasingly long periods of time and would scream of if not being cuddled, so it was very difficult to adjust as I hadn't experienced that before. I started going to weekly baby groups at 6 weeks and things slowly started to feel normal again.

More tired with the 2nd than the first, who fed and slept well, but on the whole I loved both new baby stages.

Like a pp, I do think it’s a shame that pregnant women are so often deluged with stories of ‘awfulness’.

Both of mine were super quick labours and straight forward births; 6 hours discharge and out and about with baby next day. Second time round I was doing nursery drop offs and pick ups with a newborn at 3 days old, I think this is unusual though! Had half the family visit in the delivery suite and the other half waiting for us when we got home 😂. I think I was very very lucky!

God, me too. LL Cool J himself could not have had a lovely chilled out time with my baby, because my baby had zero chill. My baby cried a LOT, for reasons that weren't in the Standard Baby Checklist and took a long time to figure out, and slept not much at all. My baby was hard fucking work, and remained so for a long time. I would have been less miserable if I'd known what I knew by the time I had my secondborn. But it wouldn't have made any difference to my baby. They were going to be super high maintenance whether I was all cosy and relaxed or not.

DC1- long and difficult birth, baby needed special care and I picked up an infection from the ward which made me quite poorly so we were in hospital for a week. Once we were both home it was fine, I had stitches but they healed really well and I wasn't in as much pain as I expected. We had visitors, went out for walks and took her to lunch with friends. We were really tired, obviously but it was lovely. I remember it was a struggle to get out of the house some days as baby had reflux and needed lots of outfit changes.DH went back to work 4 weeks after she was born. We were in a good routine by then.

DC2- birth was fine, an absolute doddle compared to DC1. But baby swallowed meconium so had to stay in hospital 3 days for antibiotics. No stitches for me this time, I recovered quickly. Felt really good emotionally and physically for the first 2 weeks. Was out and about a lot, welcoming visitors, baking and doing stuff around the house. Then PND hit me like a ton of bricks about 2-3 weeks pp, it literally came on overnight and I was very unwell. I narrowly avoided being hospitalised, with help from family, friends and my GP and HV who were both wonderful. HV's come in for a lot of criticism on MN but I honestly think mine saved my life.

My top tips:
-If someone offers to help LET THEM.
-Do not neglect your pelvic floor exercises.

• Sanitary pads soaked in witch Hazel and put in the freezer for post birth...never felt relief like it!
• If you have stairs in your house, buy 2 changing mats and set up a little changing station with nappies, wipes, spare clothes etc upstairs and one downstairs so you're not having to run up and down all the time.

Long time ago now but was lucky enough to be under the care of a midwife who had come out of retirement as the " cottage hospital" was short staffed. Lovely women ,farmers wife.
I had several physical issues with all 4 births and was very anxious with first 2. By the time I had my last I had accepted that it was best not to expect anything.Each day is different ,as is each baby,and it's often difficult to make plans . I met the retired midwife in the local town after i had the 4th and she said " I always told you ,you need to be more cow- like "

First two weeks in NICU and feeding/pumping every two hours. Same at home so very little sleep but otherwise great.

I don't have proper memories, just little flashes. Excruciating pain when trying to establish breastfeeding. Nights sitting up holding a baby who cried whenever she wasn't asleep in my arms. Becoming widely obsessed with tracking feeds. Not being able to food that needed two hands. The terror if the first postpartum poo. Tring to get the baby dressed so I could leave the house, and then her needing to feed or pooing just as I was about to leave so having to start over again. Walking into the NCT baby group and bursting into tears. The excitement of looking at and holding an entirely new person that I'd made, sitting on the sofa with DH in awae at the baby, but also feeling as though she was a very noisy pet. Hours of walking around holding a crying baby.

Lots of drama in the first 6 weeks- but my first born was amazing, a good traveller and super chilled baby (she still is- even as a teen!). I didn't get PND, baby blues - but DD was hospitalised with an illness at week 4. She was a trooper and we moved countries week 6.
It really really depends on your baby- and how lucky you are with the birth. I didn't do anything different with my next 2, but it wasn't as chilled.
I wouldn't say I was super exhausted either. Tired - yes. Crushed? No.

DS1: Awful. Lockdown pregnancy with bad SPD towards the end. Difficult birth with 3rd degree tear. DS1 was of the colicky, tongue tied, none sleeping, screaming variety of baby. The first 6 weeks felt like they lasted 60 years and I had horrendous PND.

DS2: Much better. Easier pregnancy. Another bloody 3rd degree tear. But healed a lot quicker. DS2 a much more settled baby. Had a bit of evening unsettled-ness but really spent the first 6 weeks doing nothing but breastfeeding (with ease) or sleeping. Went out on full blown day trips from about day 4. First 6 weeks flew by. The next 6 weeks have gone a lot slower as he has woken up, become more fussy and not sleeping so well at night!

She played badminton one week post partum?

Did she also tell you that you were potty trained and dry through the night by nine months?

First time round - fairly awful. Third degree tear, felt like I was carrying a brick in my vagina, miserable cluster-feeding baby who would only sleep on a parent, ragged nipples, terrible anxiety.

Second time round - absolutely blissful. Had a c-section so I wasn’t playing badminton, but had a calm, contented baby who liked sleep and fed well. And c-section recovery was straightforward.