To ask you to share what the first 6 weeks of being a new mum looked like for you?

[limegreenwellies]

Just trying to set my expectations of what being a new parent is like.... my mum says she went out for lunch when I was one day old and played badminton the following week and that I'm 'being pessimistic about how difficult it will be'.... I know it 100% depends on what your baby is like and how the birth goes and what support you have, but just curious to know what it was like for others!

My dd was born a week before Christmas. It was lovely. I had a long and difficult birth and had stitches after a tear, so I was sore. I was so wired and chuffed to have baby that I struggled to sleep for the first 4 nights. Baby took to feeding well and slept well. We drove to my in laws (about an hour away) for Christmas Day then home again. Went to my first baby group first week of January then got into a good routine and felt well. Took a short flight when baby was about 6 weeks old to see my family and have slept the whole journey.
All in all it was easier than what I had anticipated but I'd had a lot of experience in babies in my family.

I'd see less of your mum! It sounds like she's triggering these feelings. She should be supporting you, not banging on about her own experiences and making you feel bad!

I don't have a good recollection of the early weeks as I was so sleep starved and recovering from emergency c-section. I do remember lots of skin on skin and sitting on sofa watching Netflix when baby was sleeping on me. My baby was awake crying most of the nights so perhaps that made it even more difficult for my body to function.

Dc1 was easy. Despite 20 hour labour with every intervention under the sun was out and about the day after we got home.

Dc2 an entirely different story. C-section so significant pain for a few days, stressing about cleaning up for the midwife instead of taking it easy. Went for my first walk on day 5 but not really properly out and about until day 8. Although was 20 years older so probably had a part to play.

My DS slept 23 hours per day and had to be woken to feed

Well a lot of crying thinking what have I done?? 🤣

in a lot of pain from c section and pelvic girdle pain until dd was 10 months old.

lots of rows with dh due to tiredness and dh being a workaholic and everything being left to me

I had an ELCS but my pain wasn’t too bad as I kept on top of meds and DP was on it with nappies etc. Recovery was better than I expected. I also had gestational diabetes during pregnancy so being able to snack on biscuits and white bread was a dream 😄

I had the few days of adrenaline and bliss after the birth like pp have mentioned but the sleep deprivation and I suppose sheer weight of my life changing overnight hit me. I was quite weepy, a bit scared, generally a bit overwhelmed. I worried about my c section scar getting infected (it was fine) plus my baby didn’t latch well, I found all the admin of pumping quite tough alongside everything else (cleaning all the parts, assembling and dissembling it). I went for a walk with baby and DP on about day 5 and that felt good, couldn’t go too far with my section recovery though.

At about 3 weeks we took the baby to the pub at the end of our road (literally 30 seconds away) and had a coke in the beer garden. That felt good. The pub was close enough that I felt I could get home easily if we needed to and so it helped me build up to going out more, and further away.

Overall I didn’t love the newborn stage. I loved my DD but I definitely preferred once she got bigger and started smiling/laughing, interacting more. It’s very individual so try not to get too bogged down in how you ‘should’ feel and just ride the wave!

I lost quite a bit of blood and I ended up pretty severely anaemic so it took about a week of iron tablets after having the baby to feel a bit more normal. When I look at photos now I looked see through 😂.
The “baby blues” hit about 3 days after you’ve had the baby, I was so cocky an thought it was just for the “weak” - oh no - I was a bawling mess for about 2 days but then felt fine 😂.
Baby was born 2 days before Xmas day - so we went to my mums for dinner and then Boxing Day to the in laws, I’m lucky to have a lovely family so I didn’t have to lift a finger. Had lots of visitors and family coming round which I loved.
Went for our first solo walk on week 2 to the park, ventured to cafes for breakfasts out. I felt pretty much fine after 2 weeks, I had to keep on top of the painkillers to help with the pain/swelling from giving birth but apart from that some gentle walks were fine.
Once the adrenaline had ran out by week 5-6 I struggled with the sleep deprivation. I would feel like a failure, why did I decide to have a baby, why did I think I’d be a good mum? But when I look back now it’s such early days and your whole life’s just been turned upside down by this little human that depends 100% on you for EVERYTHING!
Only thing I will say is I wish we set a proper routine in place from day 1 - we used to take turns doing 4-6 hour rotations while the other went upstairs to sleep, I wish we’d of pushed for a normal routine from week 3 onwards.
Also the HV’s & midwives recommended against swaddling - worst advice ever! I wish we’d of swaddled from day 1.

For me it was a seismic upheaval and dense, dense fog. I truly felt like I had lost myself entirely and I couldn’t imagine really feeling ok again. I missed my husband even though I saw him all day every day because we were both so overwhelmed with this new life. I felt absolutely adrift.

I now recognise that I had debilitating PPA and it didn’t help that it was in the worst of the pandemic and we were so, so isolated from help and support. If I ever have a second baby I would hope it would be different.

To give comfort, for me parenting got easier every month. My son is two now and every single day is a joy. I LOVE being a parent now and I look forward to every day with him. He is wonderful, parenting is wonderful. I’m so happy and fulfilled. So if you, like me, find the first few weeks horrific, hold on tight to the fact that all you have to do is survive it and it will get better.

My memory of the first six weeks is constantly trying to hold back from sobbing because breastfeeding was just so fucking hard.

I was desperate to do it. But it was horrendous. Gave up, whole house instantly far happier.

Drowning in grieving my mum, having a newborn and a crash section was the easy part

I was also genuinely shell shocked that most babies won’t sleep in their moses basket/next to me without some kind of coercion. Mine would only sleep on one of us being held - I began flapping over this because nothing was getting done around the house - but I had to just give in to the chaos. I found this hard after working full time for so long, i had a routine and a pretty tidy house and this just went out the window completely.

I barely left the house.
It was 6 weeks of being either on the sofa or in bed. Either trying to breast feed unsuccessfully, trying to pump unsuccessful, and bottle feeding, semi successfully. And in the gaps trying to sleep, unsuccessfully.
And fending off visitors. Unsuccessfully.
There was no way we were going anywhere for lunch. We just trying to keep our baby fed, and trying to grab 20
Mins sleep at every opportunity.

Labouring on my own and very nearly giving birth on my own, thanks for nothing John Radcliffe hospital in Oxford, it was horrendous quite frankly. Enormous episiotomy with no warning or pain relief.

However my second experience of giving birth 15 months later at my local island hospital was brilliant, thank you Nobles Hospital, I wanted a waterbirth but DC2 had other plans.

Very quick arrival and then massive hemmorage afterwards. We knew it was a possibility and the team were fantastic. I could have nearly died but thanks to them it was fine

Pretty nice.

I was obviously knackered and had needed 2 blood transfusions so was wobbly and tired. But I was in a lovely bubble with my baby, partner and our parents.

She was a welcome reprieve from a dying grandparent who was needing a lot of care. Babies are magic like that- they seem to quiet a room.

I struggled with breastfeeding as my milk came in poorly so at 6weeks switched to bottle. But I didn't beat myself up about it, so it was fine.

Baby also slept through at 7weeks after we moved to bottle so I suspect she just wasn't full or relaxed.

Oof. Hard.

First fortnight - actual what the fuck have we done. Baby had to be held so we slept in 4 hour shifts (less for me as I was breastfeeding a very small baby). The actual relentless 24-hour nature of it all. Missing the luxury of lying down in bed at 11pm and knowing you'd next see 8am and not 1.37am.

3 weeks in I took DS in the car to meet NCT friends, my stitches had healed, and I started long, long buggy walks but I cried at the drop of a hat and developed a wrist strain from feeding. I did express a bottle and go the the cinema by myself.

I dunno. It passes but I felt a desire not to repeat the experience and I haven't/won't. 10 weeks in I started combi-feeding. Highly recommend it.

We got on with it and muddled through. I literally loathe being pandered to and mollycoddled so I was doing my share of the cooking, tidying up. DH and I shared the feeds, nappies, regular walks out. Both GM were brilliant too (still are). We were tired of course, and there are definitely other stages of parenthood that I prefer, but it wasn't traumatising.

I felt so surrounded with love & support it was complete bliss! I can't wait to do it all over again. I did have a C-section though so the recovery pretty much just meant newborn cuddles on the sofa all day & night!

Ds1 was still in ICU at 6 weeks. Our first weeks were spent sitting by his side in hospital. He was on a ventilator, so I could not hold, feed, change or dress him. I was allowed to do some of his cares. I also read to him, chatted to him and thought he was the best baby to have ever existed.

Massive mood swings - from utter blissful happiness, to crying in the chip shop, to overwhelming waves of love, to deep regret that we’d made a terrible mistake.

And we let way too many people visit considering how volatile I felt! I wish I’d put off some only the visitors for a while. My family was fine, but I had friends, colleagues, neighbours, all sorts trouping through my house and I wasn’t quite myself.

First few days, full of joy and energy. Completely besotted with baby.

First week at home, cried a few times because my stitches were so uncomfortable. Rest of the first month, I slept when baby slept. I was super duper on top of everything. My DSIS came to help and I ended up making her tea and sandwiches.

5 weeks in - totally crashed. Lack of sleep and sense of responsibility crept in. In photos from that week, I just look dazed 😄

6 to 8 weeks, I started going out with baby every day. Either walking to a nearby cafe for a coffee or visiting friends/family. Having a routine of going out really helped me. And as baby got older it became Bounce & Rhyme classes, etc.

I did have a few lunches with our sleepy jaundiced baby but mostly I didn't leave the house very much because of breastfeeding, or at least not alone. I had several failed attempts where by the time I was trying to get the baby into the sling they started to cry for their next feed and I just cried too as I was desperate to get outside and off the sofa.

One feed seemed to just blend into the next and it got better when I accepted this and just watched endless TV and ate endless biscuits whilst feeding.

My baby like many others was not a fan of sleeping anywhere but on someone's chest so we did have to sleep in shifts for a while. Some newborns sleep well but mine did not. It's pot luck. The sleep deprivation was extremely difficult and was made worse by my stitches breaking down. I was in a lot of pain but couldn't take any recent painkillers because of breastfeeding.

We had a lot of difficulties with feeding in the beginning and had to do 'triple feeding' for a couple of weeks. This was brutal but week by week the feeding got better.

I'm only a couple of months past the newborn stage and it does feel endless when you're in it but it's over in a flash.

Amongst this there were many lovely times and I did slowly fall in love with my baby more each day. I treasure the photographs I took. Take plenty. Around the 6 week mark we got our first smile and it's just got better and better from there.

I had a terrible pregnancy like you and I did feel a burst of energy in the beginning of huge relief just to not be vomiting and so uncomfortable anymore. I never experienced the 'what have I done' feeling although I had expected it from hearing about it on here.

Good luck it is a very special time (maybe more so in hindsight depending on your experience) x

I was newly single (fiancé left at 8m pregnant)
Three days in hospital post c section with carousel of friends and family coming in to help. Magical magical cuddles with my boy so in love. Baby had tongue tie so I got nipple trauma - very painful feeding him
Through the pain. Went home, then back to holsital a and e due to him not having wet nappies so not feeding enough. Then a blur of trying to establish breastfeeding going to a children's centre in a car with him in the snow feelings so sore every bump we drove over, constantly expressing milk, not washing hair for days, trying to handle emotional impact of new ex and ex MIL pressuring me to visit a lot, injecting myself for ten days, walks in the winter sun in the park... but mainly...so many lovely cuddles with my boy having sleepy naps on me

Baby born at 4.41am Tuesday morning, stayed in as he had a bit of trouble feeding, discharged on Wednesday evening. Thursday went to local shopping centre for wonder and lunch. Remember the lady in tesco asking how old the baby was and when I said 3 days she said I looked amazing (I didn't lol).

Deffo had a few weeks of being overly emotional. In the main enjoyed it, rested as much as possible, this was helped by my husband having quite a long time off work!

I really loved it, it was a blur of breastfeeding day and night and doing nothing else. DH took care of everything.

First 3 weeks the lack of sleep had me hallucinating, DD had day and night back to front and she fed continuously at night. I did feel very weird at times. But DH was brilliant and I just slept at any moment I could in the day.

Once she was sleeping in 4/5 hour stretches after the first few weeks it was great though. I could actually function normally.

But yes weeks 1-3 were a bit insane as I only slept in tiny bursts and I started to see spiders everywhere. I did sometimes think I might die from lack of sleep. But I didn’t. DH had taken a month off though which was brilliant so I had so much support from
him. I did all the feeds and was up all night but he did absolutely everything else-food, cleaning, fetching, carrying, baths and nappies etc. He kept me constantly eating and drinking which helped hugely.

After week 6 I can genuinely say it was the best time of my life. Odd shitty bits with sleep regressions etc but the next 12 months were just generally lovely.