To ask you to share what the first 6 weeks of being a new mum looked like for you?

[limegreenwellies]

Just trying to set my expectations of what being a new parent is like.... my mum says she went out for lunch when I was one day old and played badminton the following week and that I'm 'being pessimistic about how difficult it will be'.... I know it 100% depends on what your baby is like and how the birth goes and what support you have, but just curious to know what it was like for others!

I had a great time tbh. I had a C-section but was on my feet within 12 hours and managed to walk to a local coffee shop on day 2 and to the pub on day 3. Some aspects were challenging - DS had a crap latch so breastfeeding was painful for the first few weeks, and he had a 'witching hour' from 5-8pm every day which wasn't the most enjoyable, but on the whole it was relatively easy and I was out and about with him a lot. When he was 7 weeks old, we went to the Lake District and I hiked up Catbells and to Styhead Tarn with him in the sling. From 6-13 weeks he also slept 7pm-5am without waking, which was AMAZING.

When I really struggled was when DS was 3-6 months: his sleep went from great to terrible and DH was back at work full time. But we got through it! Different people will find different aspects hard but generally it gets better as you go on...

First three weeks delightful. Straightforward birth. No stitches. DH off work for three weeks, most days we'd go out for a coffee and mooch, then home to watch films and relax. I did very little physical activity for six months to give my body ample time to heal.

My expectations were low, but I had easy births and formula fed and honestly felt like I was back to normal in a few days

First time, I was home 4 hours after birth. 12 hours later I was at my mums house with my family coming by to meet DC. By 5 days post partum I was driving, shopping and working from home (self employed). DC slept a lot during the day

Second time around, I had a slightly more difficult birth and a couple of days in the SCBU for DC but home by 3 days old, and back to school runs and food shops (and work) by 5 days

It was the 9 month mark that I REALLY struggled. The point where my friends fet like they were finally getting into a good routine and getting it, I felt like it was all slipping away from me and I couldn't manage

Absolutely. Glorious.

Probably largely depends on your delivery and your baby, but I have been very lucky. First baby, went into hospital 11pm, baby born just after 6am, home by tea time.

First three weeks with DP at home…fab. Week 4 on my own, more taxing, and daunting taking DC out alone for the first time, but all good.

Was out walking with DC and DP on day two, we went out to eat on day three, fielded various visitors over the course of the week, more meals out in week two. And a lot of just generally enjoying our family time. Admittedly I bottle fed, so that probably made things easier with being able to share feeds, but overall it was ace.

I think it depends on a few things:
*the baby’s temperament (obvious one)
*how much recovery you physically need from birth - my first was pretty textbook and only standard 2nd degree tear but I got given no decent pain relief for home so I was so uncomfortable and struggled to get out much. 2nd baby tear was worse but I was given loads of strong painkillers so was out on a walk on day 2 and felt way better
*the “shock to the system”- we had zero experience with babies and were used to lazy chilled weekends to ourselves and loads of sleep - baby no 1 was like being hit by a train. If youre used to the reality of babies from friends/family and not big sleepers you’d probably cope better. Baby no 2 was easier as our lifestyles already suited a baby

First baby was the most challenging. Took him a couple of weeks to settle down a bit but after that it was pretty uneventful. He went on the subway at 3 weeks to get his passport for his first transatlantic flight at 6 weeks. By 8 weeks he was sleeping decently at night and by 11 weeks sleeping reliably for 8 hours.

My second was much easier. She had some issues feeding which took a few weeks to straighten out. She was a happy baby and settled into a routine quickly.

My third baby was the easiest of all. Always slept well at night and was reliably sleeping 7/8 hours by 6 weeks. Very non fussy.

I recovered well after all. Very lucky to not have any issues with PND. The physical recovery after #1 was the worst, quite sore in the nether region. I definitely could have played badminton after #3! I was able to be out and about walking within a day or two after all births.

Physically, I had 2 C-sections, both time I was out for short distances (e.g. the pub) by the end of the week, and normal distances around day 10. Hiking with baby in the sling by week 6.

Then the hardest and most unpredictable part is the baby itself... With baby 1 I found it really hard, not that much the first 6 weeks but after that. Most babies sleep a lot the first couple of months, then they start to wake up and cry a lot more! It felt like hours and hours trying to put baby to sleep, and I was very lonely. The best part was lunches etc with my NCT friends.
With baby 2 it's much easier: she sleeps better, breastfeed better, is much calmer.... I feel a lot more relaxed because of that and enjoy my mat' leave a lot more too.

You can't really tell what your baby is going to be like, it can be really hard if they cry a lot/don't feed well/have any other health issue, or really easy. But the hardest part in my experience is not the first 6 weeks, apart from the feeding which can be a bit tough at the start if you breastfeed.

My advice is to try and meet other pregnant women around you now (with NCT, pregnancy yoga etc), and get some WhatsApp group(s) going. Even if you don't meet up much socially now, you will once the babies are there. It's really comforting to share your struggles with others in the same boat, and mat' leave means lunches and brunches out on weekdays when people are at work - I love it!

Massive baby blues, I wanted someone, anyone, to come and take her somewhere where she would be looked after so I could go back to my life.

It started day 2, by day 5 I couldn't make it through an hour without crying, day 14 and DH going back to work made me ten times worse. Coupled with breastfeeding, a tongue tie, sleep deprivation and a traumatic birth. I don't think I could ever do it again

4.5 months in and I adore the air she breathes, but those first 7 weeks were the scariest moments of my life.

I remember week 3 walking the town with the pram in a fog, I wasn't going anywhere in particular and didn't even know why I was there. I saw someone I knew who stopped for a chat and I could hardly string a sentence together.

Some people take to it like ducks to water, some don't. Both are okay.

I lost a lot of blood and had to get cut down below for forceps.

so I had to take medication for low iron for a while which made me constipated, so that coupled with the stitches down below meant the first few weeks I was really scared to poop.
I sat in the toilet crying a lot.
I also cried with breastfeeding. It was painful and an emotionally difficult journey which ended sooner that I hoped. I cried about that too.
other than that I just cried a lot at the disbelief that I finally was holding my miracle baby in my arms.
so I reckon my first 6 weeks was a lot of crying lol

I was in a lot of discomfort the first 4 days from having an episiotomy, watching the clock to see when I could have more painkillers. I was exhausted, very irritable and so anxious I couldn't sleep more than an hour at a time. When I did sleep I woke in a panic that my baby had been smothered by my bed covers when she was with my partner downstairs. My DD wouldn't sleep unless she was on me so I could only sleep when my partner was home. I was getting 4 hours in every 24 hours. Eventually I started co-sleeping which I was scared to do because I was so scared I would accidentally smother her. We were sleeping on the living room floor as the little noises she made woke my partner. I felt trapped and depressed but determined I would manage. My DD had reflux and colic and I really struggled for the first year.

HMI had three under two. Had the third one Friday night at ten pm and was back at my desk Monday morning.

I was home with her the Saturday morning, bathed her, fed her and put her down for a sleep and took my other two to the park.

Met my very good friend in the way to the shop who was due her baby sick weeks after me and she banned me from her house as she was planning on doing nothing when her baby was born and she didn't want her husband to see me out and about. Turned out he came to my house later that day to watch the rugby and I was doing my ironing 😁

First baby I had an epidural, vacuum delivery and ten stitches. Second baby was absolute text book.

There's just no knowing what will happen.

Good luck op.

I found the newborn stage easier than I expected. My daughter was a great sleeper (only waking once during the night) and I had plenty of help from family. We struggled with breastfeeding though and that stopped us going out as much as I would have liked. In hindsight, I would have stopped it a lot earlier, or even been more willing to use the pre-made bottles of formula more.
I think it got harder from 6 months when she started on solids and I had to work from home, and even harder again when she learned to talk and tell us what she wants.

It was the absolute worst time of my life.

Sitting on the sofa breastfeeding or sitting on the sofa holding a sleeping baby

I cannot understand people going out moments after they've had a baby, I really think we need time to recover and adjust. I know I did anyway.

Although saying that it was covid and we were in the last lockdown so obviously encouraged to stay home

I don't want to be mean - maybe your mum is a nice woman who means no harm - but I' e observed that some women become very competitive about stitches and how much pain, etc, they were put through, and some become very competitive about their easy recoveries and what marvelous babies they managed to produce. In this context, I'd like to figure out what your mum hopes to achieve with her tales of badminton and lunch out?

Oh and physically I was fine, a bit wobblier than before I suppose but I was fine. I had her at home, no interference.

A bit of a blur tbh. I don't do well on little sleep and felt physically unwell for most of this time. We had no help and little family interest and they were some of the most exhausting and lonely days of my life. I remember reading a card that said of baby 'enjoy them', and I was incredulous that this was supposed to be enjoyable.
Things improved around three four months when I stopped bf, they started sleeping through and I went back to work pt.

In my experience, it was hard but manageable but that was down to luck (baby temperament) and having a shit ton of support. So that doesn’t mean to say anyone who found/is finding it hard is wrong in the slightest.

Week 1 we were in hospital and SCBU and, as hard as that was, there were three huge silver linings that set us up well for the weeks ahead:

1. Neonatal nurses on a 1:1 or 1:2 basis who gave us loads of support;
2. We got to sleep!
3. They got baby into an incredible routine that we just continued.

I have to say a lot of the reasons why we coped well are down to luck and circumstance. I’m disabled so I have mobility aids, household adaptation etc so coped well with c-section recovery. There aren’t many positives to disability but I really felt like, with my health issues, that I was more prepared for the recovery. Also, the baby was naturally a relaxed personality so didn’t scream constantly. I get brief experiences of that when they’re ill and wow I don’t know how parents of colicky babies cope. We also had some really good support from baby’s paediatric consultant and family members. So essentially we got quicker diagnoses than other parents (for issues like CMPA) and the odd bit of uninterrupted sleep while people cared for baby for a few hours.

All in all, no it wasn’t awful by any means and I look back on that time with fondness. I’d be lying if I claimed it was easy - it WAS hard - but we were lucky enough to have so much support that we were able to cope and adapt.

Honestly, awful.
Weeks spent trying to breastfeed a baby that couldn't latch and was losing weight. Feeding every 2 hours, expressing in between. Sore, tired and low on iron. Not time to eat, drink and shower properly and pretending everything was fine for the endless supply of visitors. When that stopped and I got in a routine it was great!

I had a fairly straightforward vaginal birth, and physically recovered quite quickly. The first few weeks I had zero anxiety about work or life for the first time ever because suddenly they seemed so inconsequential compared to this amazing, and mega important thing I'd just done, and I loved that. DH and I slept in shifts which worked for us. Baby (now 1) had terrible colic so if they were awake they were crying and uncomfortable. That was really hard and lasted about 6 months. The first 6 weeks I really enjoyed though, was hard, being tired is hard, but I loved it.

It took me about 2 weeks to feel a bit more normal after an episiotomy - certainly no badminton! I found breastfeeding was up and down - smooth for a couple of weeks then tricky and then ok again. It takes a while to feel comfortable feeding in public, and it's a very personal thing if you do or don't.

We went for a coffee and cake after my 5 day midwife check - I was very slow and found it hard to sit comfortably in the coffee shop. We went for a longer walk and lunch on day 8, and started gradually getting more confident getting out and about on short trips.

What took longer was my natural protective instinct to calm down. For weeks I just felt super protective and didn't want strangers near my baby, or to be separated from him for long.

I think a lot if it comes down to your circumstances and birth, and the support you have around you. But regardless of whether it's easy or hard, is it a bad thing, to want to take time to enjoy your new baby and just embrace the snuggles? You've got the rest of your life to go out!

I’m a plan for the worst hope for the best kinda person and I was worried I wouldn’t cope and that it would be awful. Obviously everyone’s experiences are different but I had very easy births, stitches with both so I was quite sore for a good few weeks after giving birth.

I was able to go shopping and for lunch on day 5 but was exhausted by the time I got home.

the first 6 weeks for me were magical, figuring out what to do, how to do it and whilst utterly exhausting I was in a little bubble and I loved it.

Honestly the worst 6 weeks of my life. Baby didn't sleep and went for periods of >24 hours without actually sleeping. I couldn't even stretch him out to 2.5 hours between each feed and when I did feed he spent the whole time fussing as the milk was coming too slow for him. I remember the nurse at the hospital telling me there's no way a baby needs to feed that much. Now he's 19 and 6'4" with a super fast metabolism so maybe she was wrong. He also still doesn't sleep well.

I go stark staring bonkers stuck at home. I went out every single day, not for the baby so much as my own sanity. 2 outings of between 40 minutes and an hour and a half still gives you loads of sofa time.

Absolutely not what I expected. I had visions of my body being exactly the same as it was pre pregnancy and I'd just slip back into my old life with a lovely little baby accessory 😳

The reality was I had a horrific 30 hour labour leading to a forceps delivery and a massive exceptionally painful episiotomy. The pain was off the charts and I could barely sit down so had to mostly stand or lie. In addition, whilst I was fortunate to bond almost instantly with DS and loved him more than I ever thought possible, looking back I clearly had a pretty decent case of PND, which went on for a couple of years, completely undiagnosed and I just struggled through.

In addition DS was very 'high needs' - he had dreadful colic and mostly cried, so we sat sat for hours in that rocking chair in the nursery, him crying, me crying, both of us barely sleeping, DH working 12+ hours a day, it was rough!!

But, I survived, DS is 13 now, I had DD 22 months later and she was and still is an absolute dream 11 years on.

Prepare for the worst and hope for the best!