Is this CF, and have I been out of order?

[IDontCareMatthewImSpeakingToRachel]

I don't think I am, but this has caused massive fallout.

A few months back 'friend' messaged me, telling me about a big event she was invited to and if I could help her with an outfit / shoes etc. friend is quite a glass half empty sort of person and has incredibly low self esteem so I've always been there for her to help / lift her spirits and just be an all round good friend to her.

I lent her a very expensive pair of shoes, I drove to her and helped with her hair and make up (she's not local to me) as I wanted her to look and feel fabulous for her event.
Yesterday I asked for my shoes back as I have an upcoming wedding to go to. Long story short she sent me an essay about how tough life is for her, and how ashamed she is, that she has sold my pair of shoes. (These are Christian louboutin shoes that were given to me as a wedding present a couple of years back) I told her that I was really angry at this, they weren't her shoes to sell. Friend went on to say she was under the impression that I GAVE her the shoes, and they were her shoes to sell.
I went back to the original message of when I offered them to her and it reads as follows..

'I have a pair of X you can wear, I won't need them for the time being so you can wear these if they fit you, you will look fabulous.'

From my understanding there was nothing about her being able to keep the shoes.

Anyway, I asked her who she sold them to and they were pawned. I called the store, explained that the shoes were mine and they confirmed they still have them and they haven't been sold on.
I told friend this, and told her she must buy the shoes back immediately.

She's agreed to buy them back, but has said that she will go without food, not be able to pay her mortgage for the month, and basically made me sound like a CF for asking her to do this. She's basically turning this whole thing back around on me, telling me that I could easily buy another pair of shoes. (I can't.. I don't have that disposable money as everyone knows how expensive life is at the mo!)

AIBU? I'm lucky I found the store she pawned them to and I'm lucky they haven't been sold on, she sold them recently and I gave them to her only a few months back so it's not as if they've been laying collecting dust under her bed!

She's now saying she won't be able to feed her kids (who are both in their late teens / early twenties May I add) and is trying to guilt trip me into saying don't worry about it.

The shoes have sentimental value, they were given to me by someone very special which is why I would rather have those specific shoes back rather than giving me the money for them. I guess it is my fault really for letting her borrow them. Needless to say, the friendship (of 15 years) is over.

Thank you, I'm going to do exactly this.
Thank god it's payday and my bills have come out.

I'm ordering the shoes now, although I won't get too excited until they are firmly back in my possession!

Jeez what a thieving lowlife bitch. 😡

As the pawn shop won't hold onto them and you probably shouldn't trust her to get them back i think you should buy them back yourself given how important they are to you.
Then just acknowledge that the friendship is over.

The constant victim stories to manipulate everyone into solving her self-caused problems, and then MORE sob stories to try and get away with this!

Omg. I’ve read all of your posts OP and I can’t believe this. My mouth genuinely dropped when I read that she sold the shoes. This is absolutely shocking my God.

Selling shoes that aren’t yours. Taking the money for it. Then guilt tripping the person by saying she won’t be able to pay her mortgage etc, just wow. I think you’d have to buy the shoes back and cut your loses. The fact that you’ll have to pay hundreds to get back shoes that were a gift to YOU is really out of this world.

What a true and bitch

This is absolutely horrible. Your brother's wedding present... heartless cow.

This is what I'd do.

Get the shoes back asap.
Report her to the guards and insist she pays you back what you paid.
Tell your friends.
Never speak to her again.

Is there an amount of time the pawn shop has to hold them for before selling? Was her intent to buy them back before you found out?

Bloody hell, OP, your friend is a CF of the highest order.

Given her apparent lack of remorse or willingness to help I think I too would report to the police and tell all your mutual friends what she has done.

Police feels OTT. She didn’t steal the shoes, you gave them to her. She sold them fraudulently, that’s a small claims civil issue.

Please don’t waste police time on this.

Do let us know how you get on!

It is theft.

I don’t know if I’d buy them back yet. I don’t think you should have to pay to get them back. I’d report the matter now to police, get a crime number, then phone the shop and tell them they are handling reported stolen goods and you want them back. THEY can take out a claim against your CF ex-friend to get THEIR money back.

This is the thing, I have helped her when she's asked.
I've done online shopping for her, I've given her cash, I've done my fair bit for her.

This is where the problem started. You enabled her. She did this because she resents you (yes, resents) for what you did. Been there.

What an absolutely cow. She's utterly despicable.

Once you've bought your shoes back OP and they're safely in your possession I would write to CF and say that she owes you £X and if that money is not paid into your account by a certain deadline you will be calling the police and reporting her for theft. And I'd be willing to go through with that too.

You definitely need to make the others in your friendship group aware. Keep it calm and factual but explain exactly what she's done. Ultimately she's been an idiot as this will cost her more than she gained from pawning your shoes.

Unless she can get them back cheaper (I know some pawn shops hold things for x amount of time that and the money they gave is a lone, return money get goods back) then I would buy them back yourself so they don't sell to someone else.

Definitely get written confirmation that she will pay you back and a down payment on that debt though.

She can then pay you x amount per week/month, you definately get the item back and if she defaults you have proof it was a partly repaid loan.

make her buy the shoes
then bin her off as a mate (cos she ain’t one)

I think some more will come out when you speak to your friends. What a terrible 'friend' she is.

The pawn shop won't hold them for me (rightly so) whilst I figure this out.

Eh? They are STOLEN goods. Of course they can't sell them on and you need to make this clear to them.

The contract is between the pawn broker and cheeky fucker. The pawn shop has to honour it. They can’t hand items over without a redemption ticket, this will have been given to CF when she took them in to pawn. Nor can they sell items until the term of the loan is up and no amount of demanding is going to alter that fact. Unless you have proof of purchase or you’ve reported the shoes as stolen how is he/she to know they were your shoes and not hers?

You have already had good advice here and are getting them back, I just wanted to acknowledge how sad this must be that you genuinely felt for a friend and went out of your way to help only for her to disrespect you. She is a terrible friend and it is enraging, but you're also losing what you through was a friend and it must be upsetting as well as anger inducing. I hope you get your money and shoes back and sadly its the right thing to cut this person out. There are so many people like this and you are better off without them.

Yes, It was and probably still is six months. Pawn broker is legally bound to honour it. It’s a contract between P/B and C/F. Once the term is up and the loan hasn’t been repaid then the pawn broker can legally sell the item.

Good God, what an absolute disgrace of a human! I really hope you get them back as soon as.

When I spoke to the shop the staff member said there are 2 types of selling.

When she took the shoes in there were two options:
To take a loan out against the shoes, meaning they shoes can't be sold on unless she defaulted on paying the loan back.
Or to sell the shoes for a one off cash sum.

It's the second one that she did, so the shoes are technically the pawn brokers as she signed over 'ownership' and sold them for a fixed price and walked away.
They wouldn't tell me how much she sold the shoes for, but I've just bought the shoes back for a few hundred quid (gulp)

So the shoes were available online on their shop for any folk to buy.
I've just bought them back. I told the shop I was doing this and they are sending them DPD recorded delivery.

I honestly just cannot wait to get them back. I haven't told my brother, he'd be absolutely livid with her.
This woman is a family friend, who I involved in my small friendship circle. She is no longer welcome in my life and I will be making friends / family aware of what she has done. I know for a fact my mum has also helped her with bits and bobs over the years.

She's awful and I really think she's manipulated us all over the years. Horrible, selfish cow.

Whilst it might be technically ‘theft’, @MommaDoxxer is absolutely correct in saying don’t waste police time. They won’t be able to help getting the shoes back, there is not enough court time to deal with this sort of crap and no way it would happen anyway.

it is totally a civil matter

as has been suggested by numerous people…get the shoes, send her the bill/payment plan and then go small claims if necessary to enforce (which it sounds like it will be)

horrible behaviour by a supposed friend and I think you really should warn your other friends as annoying as it all is. Feel v sorry for you OP x

I've just purchased the shoes back. :)

I'll be sending her an invoice, that's for Damn sure.

Can anyone help me put a letter together? I'm hopeless at this kind of thing and if I write a letter I want it to be a proper letter rather than me just calling her a selfish cow. Something she will (possibly) read and make an effort to pay me back.