Is this CF, and have I been out of order?

[IDontCareMatthewImSpeakingToRachel]

I don't think I am, but this has caused massive fallout.

A few months back 'friend' messaged me, telling me about a big event she was invited to and if I could help her with an outfit / shoes etc. friend is quite a glass half empty sort of person and has incredibly low self esteem so I've always been there for her to help / lift her spirits and just be an all round good friend to her.

I lent her a very expensive pair of shoes, I drove to her and helped with her hair and make up (she's not local to me) as I wanted her to look and feel fabulous for her event.
Yesterday I asked for my shoes back as I have an upcoming wedding to go to. Long story short she sent me an essay about how tough life is for her, and how ashamed she is, that she has sold my pair of shoes. (These are Christian louboutin shoes that were given to me as a wedding present a couple of years back) I told her that I was really angry at this, they weren't her shoes to sell. Friend went on to say she was under the impression that I GAVE her the shoes, and they were her shoes to sell.
I went back to the original message of when I offered them to her and it reads as follows..

'I have a pair of X you can wear, I won't need them for the time being so you can wear these if they fit you, you will look fabulous.'

From my understanding there was nothing about her being able to keep the shoes.

Anyway, I asked her who she sold them to and they were pawned. I called the store, explained that the shoes were mine and they confirmed they still have them and they haven't been sold on.
I told friend this, and told her she must buy the shoes back immediately.

She's agreed to buy them back, but has said that she will go without food, not be able to pay her mortgage for the month, and basically made me sound like a CF for asking her to do this. She's basically turning this whole thing back around on me, telling me that I could easily buy another pair of shoes. (I can't.. I don't have that disposable money as everyone knows how expensive life is at the mo!)

AIBU? I'm lucky I found the store she pawned them to and I'm lucky they haven't been sold on, she sold them recently and I gave them to her only a few months back so it's not as if they've been laying collecting dust under her bed!

She's now saying she won't be able to feed her kids (who are both in their late teens / early twenties May I add) and is trying to guilt trip me into saying don't worry about it.

The shoes have sentimental value, they were given to me by someone very special which is why I would rather have those specific shoes back rather than giving me the money for them. I guess it is my fault really for letting her borrow them. Needless to say, the friendship (of 15 years) is over.

I do not Know what CF stands for but i think that the person you lent then shoes to is not friend of yours . If you can buy the shoes back think of it this way even if it costs you £100 to get the shoes back think of it that it ha donly cost you £100 to find out what sort of person your friend is . It could have been a lot worse !.. Be grateful that it has not cost you a lot more .

It has cost her at least 300 pounds to get those shoes back. She has figured out that the grifter/thief is not a friend as she has ripped many people off.

CF=cheeky fucker

Wow, what an awful manipulative woman she is - make her buy them back and it’s tough if she can’t feed her kids or pay her mortgage. She’ll have to mug another person for that. I’ve had friends like this who will suck every last bit of kindness you have to give them and reward you by trying to steal your life, husband or possessions . I’d probably say “get my shoes back immediately or I will report you to the police” and if she doesn’t get them, I would!

She’s no friend and she’s just a bloodsucking leach you don’t need in your life. Leave her and move on after you get them back.

Good luck and I hope you find a new genuine friend x

Presented without comment:

Is "buy the shoes back" the new "cancel the cheque"?

It’s early but I have no idea what that is?

Edited to say, I see it now I have tapped the screenshot. If this is a wind up, I give up. Why, just why.

I am perhaps soft but I would ask her to buy them back then provide her with some cheap and cheerful food (pasta, rice, dried pulses) so at least she’s not going to starve. Plus local food banks addresses, Olio etc. Then I would gently just cease contact.

I think if you RTFT you’ll find the CF would throw your ‘cheap and cheerful dried pulses’ in your face.

Ah well, that’s up to her, but at least my conscience would be clean!

Very true.

By giving dried pulses to someone who won’t return your shoes?

At least she won’t starve!

She’s an alcoholic and druggie, do you really think she is going to cook the dried pulses?

Her grown up children might. I hadn’t read that part. But still. I can only be responsible for my actions, I am not responsible for hers.

You’ll never look at the shoes the same again bless you. If you really want them, buy them back and move on without her friendship. If they no longer bring you joy because of the situation, forget it. Life’s short

Which teens cook dried pulses?

Seems very spiteful for a sister to write something like this. I know if I made a fake thread (I wouldn’t - although I’d change a few details to anonymise it) and my sister found out, she’d say nothing. She’d probably be a bit concerned about me and check I was Ok, but she wouldn’t call me out online and try to humiliate me. This all seems very odd.

Well that's fake! I can assure that is not my brother! (And proves that person calling me Maria was a wind up)

I'm one of few showing any consideration for the devasting effect this may have on someone elses mental health.

What about the effect on the mental health of the people who have trusted and helped this self-serving grifter?

Does it not occur to you that to learn that 15 years of what OP considered a close friendship has been revealed to be simply a parasitic one? That OP and others were just part of this woman's friendship circle because they were useful to her - she could prey on them, "borrow" from them, take advantage of their kindness, and that once she has been revealed as the low-life she is, she has made no attempt to apologise, or make reparations, but just cut herself off and (no doubt) got ready to move onto the next set of easily touched individuals? No apology, no contrition, no acceptance of responsibility.

Can you not see how disappointing and upsetting that would be? This is a huge betrayal of trust, and it knocks you sideways when this happens

Do you have a sister op? I can’t imagine a brother writing that. I can’t imagine a man writing that at all.

It's not a wind up!

I will put up a picture of the shoes in their postal packaging with my name and address blurred when the arrive.

I really hope this thread doesn't get pulled.
I can assure you my brother hasn't written on that forum. Plus, if it was a fake, how would my brother know this post was me if I made the whole thing up.

I literally give up.

@Mumof118

I don't even have a sister, I have 3 brothers!

Wouldn't trust her to but loo roll let alone your shoes back. Go get them yourself and tell her she stole them and sold them and never darken your door again.

Seems like someone wants your thread pulled.

Sorry this has all happened to you.