I can’t forgive this can I? How can a father be so awful?

[parpsb]

I have an 9 month old with my ex partner. I’ll spare the details but he essentially had a breakdown when I was pregnant and has been wallowing ever since. I now live alone and we haven’t seen him in months although he does pay cms and has been in touch now and then regarding DD. This week DD has been very poorly. Tomorrow she will have to have tests to ascertain the problem. I text him to ask if there was any family history of allergies because that would help the hospital take a full history for DD and assist them in getting to the bottom of things as soon as possible.. the more info they have the better. He’s not responded. I feel like this is absurdly, horrendously callous? Am I being dramatic?! I actually cannot believe he had ignored this.

> if I ‘withdrew’ our child would be taken I to care

In the situation you describe If you had a breakdown and 'withdrew' then yes your children would be taken into care - what's your point?

I was just suggesting that breakdown and withdrawing could be related, it's not necessarily a matter of choice - it's up to you to provide enough context to show it's his choice.

@FrankieStein403 going to work, especially in a role like that, for over seven months successfully, I would say on the balance of probabilities means he’s actually a bit of a cunt not replying regarding his daughter’s health. But if you believe otherwise, that’s fine. I expect you’re in the minority.

The man clearly isn’t psychotic/
delusional etc since he is able to hold down a job as a paramedic . So , yes , it’s a choice. And an extremely crappy one at that. No idea why you would feel inclined to apologise for such behaviour.

If the man was completely unable to function, I’d agree with you. This doesn’t seem to be the case. Someone who is able to work a shift as a paramedic can answer a quick text about his own baby!

OP when you go to the appointment give the doctors his details and ask the hospital to write to him asking about his family history of allergies. Maybe he will answer them. I'd struggle to get past this unless he's very ill in bed with Covid or something and has not looked at his phone. Is the message showing it's been read?