to find this man creepy on my walk?

[meggy96]

So I'm a 27 year old woman, dp and I moved recently from a city to a very rural hamlet. Opposite our house there is a large field which leads to a rather large, deep forest. Both of these nearly never have any other walkers, I've seen other dog walkers maybe three times since we moved here.

We have a young spaniel who I walk 95% of the time due to dp's working hours. When he and I walk the dog together, we walk through the field and then through the forest so I know the route and am familiar with the area. Neighbours mentioned that this forest does have some dodgy activity (dognapping in particular) so I've been hesitant to go in there on my own, dp has said this is a bit dramatic.

Today, I decide the dog needs a good long walk so I walk her across the field and then decide "be a big girl" ... I'll go into the forest. I'm about three minutes into the forest when up ahead of me, through the forest, I see a man walking towards me, on his own, no one with him and no dog. Highly unusual I think to myself. Then, I notice he stops walking, stays still and observes me, before turning around on himself and walking the way he'd came from (the direction I'm going) which is deeper into the forest. I immediately panicked, turned on my heel and ran with my dog back the way I'd come, through the forest and into the field, all the way home. I got home heart racing. Dp says it was probably nothing, probably it was -- but I just got a bad feeling. Aibu?

To be honest I'd do the same. I hike and have turned around/back or taken a different route a few times when I've come across someone behaving oddly or when I get a bad feeling about a situation.

I mean you felt how you felt so it’s not a case of are you being unreasonable.

It could’ve been nothing or it could’ve been something.

If a situation creeps you out there's no harm of getting out of that situation. I can't see on that basis who thinks ywbu.

It doesn't matter if he was a creep or not

I’d do the same. I hate it that we women find it scary to go for walks alone in nature but this is where we are at— well many of us at least.

Maybe he turned the other way because he thought he might make you uncomfortable?

anyway, as a pp said, it made you uncomfortable so you did the right thing to leave. Can you walk in busier places when you’re on your own?

I would do the same. He might have walked away from you so you didn't feel threatened? But of course, he might not. If you felt unsafe, it's sensible to get yourself out of that situation.

I would say though, just because someone doesn't have a dog, doesn't mean it's weird they're walking somewhere. I often go for walks in our local wooded and fieldy area, and I don't have a dog. I just like being outside.

My first thought was that he's some bloke out for a walk, realises he's about to encounter a lone woman and having had it drummed into him that lone women are more likely to be intimidated by bumping into a lone man in the woods decides the best thing is to get out of the situation.

Basically you're freaked out because he acted unnaturally, and he acted unnaturally because he was worried about freaking you out.

I would and have done the same when I get the creeps about someone on my walks!

Shit isn't it.
I got flashed by some dirty fucker on a public bridleway when I was riding my pony as a kid. Literally open mac flasher blocking my way. Scared the bejeezus out of me and I've never been 100% comfortable walking since, even though I love hiking and force myself to take routes that scare me a bit. It makes me angry that I feel scared!!!

You were already on high alert so meeting anyone would have probably creeped you out to some extent. Maybe you creeped him out which is why he turned back too? That is me talking rationally and hypothetically. If that was me walking in a deep dark forest I’d have legged it too!

I think you are perfectly reasonable to go home if you don’t feel comfortable.

I think you are very unreasonable to express your view that a man walking on his own in a country area, without a dog, is “ highly unusual” and up to no good. There is being reasonable, and there is being a tad paranoid.

This.

Or he's incredibly shy and introverted and was worried the spaniel lady might try to talk to him!

A person wanting to harm another is unlikely to do a swift 180 and walk away at speed - it kinda defeats the purpose.

I would have done the same as you too and turned back. I hate that as a woman walking alone I don’t feel safe if I see a man coming towards me. I worry when my daughter goes out walking alone too. On the other hand, my son and husband love to photograph wildlife and dress in camouflage stuff and go out early in remote places and don’t worry at all about who they may come across.

I always get anxious when I see a lone man on my dog walks who is walking somewhere isolated without a dog.

Oh, and people walking about rural areas without a dog or other people is not at all unusual.

Many, many people like a good yomp about. It's why the right to roam is so staunchly defended.

Didn't he turn around to go into the forest, where op was heading? He could easily have waited for her in there.

There's no point forcing yourself into an uncomfortable scenario imo. Too many women in the news are being randomly attacked and killed by men walking through parks and woods for me to pretend I'm ok with that.

Neighbours mentioned that this forest does have some dodgy activity (dognapping in particular) so I've been hesitant to go in there on my own, dp has said this is a bit dramatic.

Dp says it was probably nothing, probably it was
So you dismiss the neighbours experience and local knowledge but believe your DP because of...?

Follow your gut instinct regarding the man but also look at why you unquestionably allow DP to march all over your boundaries. That's not normal.

I hate when women’s instincts to protect themselves are palmed off as them being “dramatic”.

Trust your instincts, it doesn’t mean he is a bad man, the point is he could be and you don’t know. Having had many similar situations with some getting very dicey and upsetting, you are never doing anything wrong by choosing not to walk a route that you know a man or group of men are taking.

He went back the way he came.

He had no expectation that the op would be there, she's never gone there before.

If a person is uncomfortable ofc they shouldn't force themselves to stay in a situation - but that discomfort doesn't mean the man in question was in any way a threat.

When you look at the murders and crimes against women very very few are by random strangers. You're more at risk with people you know.

Err on the side of caution OP. Rather change your route than deal with a potential risk. Shame for all of us really, the women who have to be so on edge and the men who are perfectly innocent.

Maybe he turned around because he didn't want to frighten you, as there is alot of acknowledgement online with lone women feeling intimidated I.e. a man will cross the road at night instead of walking pass.
I think its bit of an over reaction because you got yourself worked up before going there. What sort of dog do you have? Normally they are a deterrent.

Trust your gut! Don’t go in the wood again if you don’t feel safe!

YANBU to listen to your guy reaction. I don't think women should ever believe that they were wrong to get out of a situation that doesn't feel right.

That said, while his turning around was odd, I don't think someone out walking alone in a forest is that odd.

You removed yourself from a situation that frightened you. Nothing wrong with doing that, because you removed yourself from harm's way, if indeed any harm was intended. Obviously the man may have had completely innocent motives, but sadly women have to be very careful, it's not right, but there we are.

I mean I've walked this route several times when with dp and just never come across a man (or woman) on their own before so that's more why I said it's unusual. Totally agree that walking alone isn't weird at all, I used to all the time before I had a dog through walking routes but this is slightly off the beaten path, it's a very isolated area. I definitely don't defer to dp when he says I'm being dramatic, I just thought today I'll give it a go...maybe it'll be fine! Nope. I guess I just won't walk there again on my own. Reason I mention dp is I got rather frustrated with him having no empathy and assuming I'm dramatic and wanted a second opinion