to find this man creepy on my walk?

[meggy96]

So I'm a 27 year old woman, dp and I moved recently from a city to a very rural hamlet. Opposite our house there is a large field which leads to a rather large, deep forest. Both of these nearly never have any other walkers, I've seen other dog walkers maybe three times since we moved here.

We have a young spaniel who I walk 95% of the time due to dp's working hours. When he and I walk the dog together, we walk through the field and then through the forest so I know the route and am familiar with the area. Neighbours mentioned that this forest does have some dodgy activity (dognapping in particular) so I've been hesitant to go in there on my own, dp has said this is a bit dramatic.

Today, I decide the dog needs a good long walk so I walk her across the field and then decide "be a big girl" ... I'll go into the forest. I'm about three minutes into the forest when up ahead of me, through the forest, I see a man walking towards me, on his own, no one with him and no dog. Highly unusual I think to myself. Then, I notice he stops walking, stays still and observes me, before turning around on himself and walking the way he'd came from (the direction I'm going) which is deeper into the forest. I immediately panicked, turned on my heel and ran with my dog back the way I'd come, through the forest and into the field, all the way home. I got home heart racing. Dp says it was probably nothing, probably it was -- but I just got a bad feeling. Aibu?

As a man, it's always been drummed into me that women shouldn't feel uncomfortable because of male presence - which in an isolated place is perfectly natural given how things are these days (which is sad in itself).
Personally I always give lone women a wide berth just so they don't feel uncomfortable; I don't think I'm particularly scary-looking but if I can help them feel more comfortable, I will do.

It's a shame for both the women who feel this way and the innocent men who encounter them with no ill intentions, but I accept it's just how society is.

Of course YANBU. He made you feel uncomfortable and you shouldn't question that.

When I was 12 I was walking in a woods with my adult neighbour and her 2 DC (both younger than me). A man came up and asked us if we'd seen his dog and we said no. He was acting weird but we carried on walking. A few minutes later he emerged from behind a tree and flashed us and was masturbating. My neighbour was so upset (understandably) and blamed herself (even though it was obviously not her fault) for not turning us all back after the first encounter.

@GaspingGekko why is turning around odd? Maybe he forgot something, maybe that's the point he walks to everyday before heading back? Maybe he sensed she was nervous?

So walking alone isn't weird except when it's (what you consider) off the beaten path? That's not fair or particularly reasonable. I don't have a dog but am sometimes to be found in quite isolated areas.
Having said that, you weren't U to avoid this man. I think it's likely that he thought he'd get out of your way rather than freak you out by his presence, but you never know and you can't be too safe.

I mean this guy could have been innocently walking but in the same light he may not be, and there could be anyone in a forest.

It shouldn't be that way for women but a location like a forest when there's nobody else around is an isolated area for those who would act in that way, whether that's stealing a dog or more.

Always trust your gut and don't go in there if you don't feel comfortable.

he was probably looking for abit of alfresco action and saw you with your dog and thought better of it. woods are notorious for hook ups.

Reason I mention dp is I got rather frustrated with him having no empathy and assuming I'm dramatic and wanted a second opinion.
Fair enough. Yes he has no empathy, no you weren't being dramatic, always good to have a second opinion especially when frustrated. Think that covers it

I would have done the same as you, would rather be overly careful than not.

@Alargeoneplease89 In general I would agree, nothing specifically odd in turning around on a walk. It was more the timing of it, spotting OP and then turning around.
I often used to walk in the forest and wouldn't really notice the very few other people I came across, but if someone appeared, looked at me and then turned around it would register with me as unusual.

Given he was alone, it's far more likely he was just out for a walk.
Men don't just walk around looking for places to have a wank in the wild!

@GaspingGekko Yeah exactly it was the fact he observed me, paused, then made the decision to turn around and go back into a very deep forest, where I was headed. Could be a coincidence but that's unlikely, I suppose it could be him trying to be considerate

I wouldn’t really consider someone walking alone a threat. I walk every day alone, through woodland, fields and heathland, I don’t have a dog (although I would love one). I often stop and look at things, I often forage and I do get people asking me what I’m doing. If I saw someone else walking alone I would probably just assume they are doing the same as me.

Yanbu

Odd thread.

I see a man walking towards me, on his own, no one with him and no dog. Highly unusual I think to myself.

Why did you think this was unusual?

Neighbours mentioned that this forest does have some dodgy activity (dognapping in particular) so I've been hesitant to go in there on my own
Today, I decide the dog needs a good long walk so I walk her across the field and then decide "be a big girl" ...*

Walking on your own in a place with known suspicious activity isn't being a big girl, it's making an informed decision to go somewhere where you might not be safe.

I often walk alone to clear my head. I walk across the fields hoping I don't come across anyone. Often I am muttering to myself (just offloading whatever it is that's bothering me), and I really, really want to be alone. I will turn around if I see someone coming towards me, or will turn back if I know I'm going to catch someone up. Sometimes I'll be on the phone to the Samaritans so obviously don't want to see anyone. I guess being a lone woman is less potentially threatening than a lone man. I feel sorry for the vast, vast majority of men who find themselves in a position where they could be regarded as a predator - just for going for a walk.

All that said, if you feel uncomfortable the you remove yourself from the situation.

"I see a man walking towards me, on his own, no one with him and no dog. Highly unusual I think to myself."

Are people out allowed in woods now j less they have other people or a dog?

I go to the woods on my own all the time.
Find a quiet spot. Pitch up a tarp and sit and listen to the world. I often take a little stove to make coffee and food too.

Seeing a person alone in the forest should not be seen as highly unusual. Him turning back could be anything, maybe he sat for a spell and forget his bag or phone when I moved on? Maybe it reached a set time and turned back to head home?

YANBU to have felt how you felt.
But, if you'd run into a 5ft6 Portly middle aged woman sweating and panting cause --i'm-- she's carrying a back pack and she was on her own in the woods, you'd probably not have reacted the same, which is understandable in this day and age I suppose..

No one will ever know! Someone walking alone without a dog isn’t weird at all! But given you’ve been advised not to go in there alone, I wouldn’t!

You're not being dramatic.
You have instincts for a reason, you need to trust them.
Don't let anyone tell you that you overreacted, were dramatic or just plain silly.
Something felt "off" and you took the safe option to protect yourself.
Personally I'm proud of you, you did the right thing.
You shouldn't have to but stay out of the woods ❤️

I now want to bump into PurpleMonkeys in the woods. That’s exactly what I do (sit in the woods on my own, often with a snack or a flask of soup). I did have someone ask me if i was lost last year because I was walking alone. Walking alone stops me from killing people 😉, it keeps me sane.

If I walk our dog alone, I stick to urban/populated areas. I only go in fields and forests if dh is with us. It isn't dramatic, it's just sensible. My dog is small and would try to protect me, but would have no chance.

You did the right thing. Probably fine but why take the risk? I carry an alarm now, although TBH I don't go to very isolated places.

If you get a funny/bad or a strange feeling about someone no matter who they are/where you are then you should get yourself out of that situation pdq, or if you can't be prepared to defend yourself.

Always trust your gut in that sort of situation.

Many years ago I was walking along a suburban London street in broad daylight, round the corner from a busy tube station. I saw a man walking towards me, didn't look obviously odd in any way but I got that feeling. It must have been something my gut picked up subconsciously. Fortunately that meant I was primed to fight back when he sexually assaulted me and attempted to wrestle me to the ground.

@Lovemusic82 I am easy to spot. I wear a lot of purple and carry a purple Osprey bag full of --chocolate-- healthy snacks.

The woods is where I feel at home and comfortable. The city is where I feel lost and alone.

My DH walks alone without a dog. He does it for pleasure and fitness and to take photos. He likes to be in the "proper" countryside but sometimes time means he will use footpaths on nearby agricultural land where it is less common to see hikers and more just dog walkers and people taking the scenic route to the pub.

He finds people often treat him as suspicious just because he's walking without a dog.

He might even divert to avoid someone with an off lead or extendable lead dog. He might also make an abrupt change of direction to get the photo he wants, especially to avoid having people in it.

Obviously you should keep yourself safe and if you feel uncomfortable then divert, but you are being a bit unfair to call this guy creepy.

Blimey, I walk our two dogs in the woods by myself most days. I go in some very isolated spots, and have come across many men on their own with dogs and without. Not once have I thought anything other than someone out for a walk.

For goodness sake. Men can’t even go on a walk without a dog? This is crazy.

yes there are nutters about, but vast majority of men walking without a dog are just men going for a walk.

If you felt uncomfortable then you felt uncomfortable but I don't understand how someone going for a walk alone is highly unusual.