to find this man creepy on my walk?

[meggy96]

So I'm a 27 year old woman, dp and I moved recently from a city to a very rural hamlet. Opposite our house there is a large field which leads to a rather large, deep forest. Both of these nearly never have any other walkers, I've seen other dog walkers maybe three times since we moved here.

We have a young spaniel who I walk 95% of the time due to dp's working hours. When he and I walk the dog together, we walk through the field and then through the forest so I know the route and am familiar with the area. Neighbours mentioned that this forest does have some dodgy activity (dognapping in particular) so I've been hesitant to go in there on my own, dp has said this is a bit dramatic.

Today, I decide the dog needs a good long walk so I walk her across the field and then decide "be a big girl" ... I'll go into the forest. I'm about three minutes into the forest when up ahead of me, through the forest, I see a man walking towards me, on his own, no one with him and no dog. Highly unusual I think to myself. Then, I notice he stops walking, stays still and observes me, before turning around on himself and walking the way he'd came from (the direction I'm going) which is deeper into the forest. I immediately panicked, turned on my heel and ran with my dog back the way I'd come, through the forest and into the field, all the way home. I got home heart racing. Dp says it was probably nothing, probably it was -- but I just got a bad feeling. Aibu?

A reasonable reaction and a sensible action.

It is not compulsory to have a dog when you go for a walk.

The man's behaviour and intentions are irrelevant, you felt uncomfortable and left. It's isn't necessary for you to find or offer an explanation for why you felt as you. We have no idea what would have happened if you had continued your walk but we do know that your decision to turn around means you are safely at home now.

Turning around was the right thing to do in the circumstances, you don't have to ignore your instincts to avoid looking paranoid or dramatic.

If the man had no bad intentions then hopefully he enjoyed his walk.

Obviously you should keep yourself safe and if you feel uncomfortable then divert, but you are being a bit unfair to call this guy creepy.

No one has been harmed by the OP describing the man as creepy so why is it unfair? He seemed creepy in her opinion, she entitled to that. If she'd photographed him and uploaded it to SM with the caption, "creepy man in forest", you'd have a point.

You were right to trust your instincts OP, and in future, listen to what local have to say about dody areas! They exisit in the pretty countryside too and we have some very nasty people in the sticks as well. And your DP can fuck right off with calling you dramatic. When men start having to view the world and the people they encounter with the same caution women do, then he can call you dramatic.

Always trust your gut...

But men don’t see risk in the same way as women because they don’t face the same
risks. So it seems dramatic to him.

Always trust your instinct. He behaved unusually, your subconscious, evolved over a millennia to keep you safe, sent you into fight or flight. You legged it and got yourself out of the situation.

Based on what you have written it sounds like a massive overreaction. But if that’s how you felt at the time that’s how you felt. Impossible for anyone who wasn’t there to give you an objective opinion.

Dotjones · Today 15:54

My first thought was that he's some bloke out for a walk, realises he's about to encounter a lone woman and having had it drummed into him that lone women are more likely to be intimidated by bumping into a lone man in the woods decides the best thing is to get out of the situation.

Turning round and following her is the exact opposite of what you suggest.

OP, you did the best thing, he sounds like a proper weirdo and your partner is too dim to understand why you were frightened.

Trust your instincts. I often bump into a guy who walks on his own through our local woods. He's perfectly pleasant. Just nods and smiles. I never get any bad vibes off him, even though he's on his own without a dog. But there have been other occasions when my radar has gone loopy.

He didn't follow her, he turned around and walked away ahead of her.

I have to say if I'm ever out walking in a forest now by myself, if I meet a man walking by himself, I get scared.

For every single man.

It's hard

Maybe those of us who like walking and don't have a dog shouldn't be allowed out in case we frighten the dog walkers.

I went for a walk in the woods near my house on Saturday with my friend and her dog. We met lots of people walking. I'd say the majority didn't have dogs.

I did notice one couple who were about to climb over a stile to get to the area we were in, look at us and turn round and go back the way they came.

I put it down to them being wary of my friend's dog rather than them being creepy fuckers, but there you go.

OP, ignore the (thankfully) few smarty pants women on here. We have instincts for a reason and I always, always trust mine. Besides, walking as a lone woman in a deserted forest with tales of dog knapping is not in my book sensible. If I found myself in that position and saw a lone man who was obviously not a fellow dog walker I would also turn tail. Unfortunately men can be predators and there is no point taking risks. I'm sorry your husband thinks you are being daft but maybe he should try being a woman for a while!

To reiterate, there is nothing inherently weird about walking without a dog. At all. I have only had my dog for one year and prior to that, never had a dog, and walked all the time. I see some here saying that they go out for walks and see people without dogs walking all the time. Yes, I used to too - totally normal. But as I said in my post, I've seen only 3 dog walkers since I moved here about 8 months ago and no solo walkers. That is only 3 people walking and they all happened to be dog walkers. This is a largely dead area and I live in the absolute sticks, so that is why it was a bit odd to see someone walking, just on their own, completely remotely

Women’s intuition should always be trusted, better to be safe than sorry 😔

I noticed during lockdown that those of us walking without dogs were viewed as eccentric.

As he turned away from OP, back from where he had come, I think he was trying to be considerate of OP.

But I guess if the forest has dodgy activities, then I could be wrong. And then it's also no surprise that OP was primed to feel fearful.

We are perfectly entitled to post our experiences and opinions for the consideration of the OP.

Don't risk it. Trust your gut. Don't go there anymore. I think your partner is the unreasonable one saying you're being a bit dramatic - easy for him to say when he's a man and doesn't have to worry about being raped or murdered. Has he tried putting himself in your shoes ? Very common for women to not feel safe when out alone in remote places. Really annoys me when men/partners don't understand this and call us dramatic...

Men don’t have to think about danger much when they’re out for a walk. Not great that he can’t imagine why a woman would be scared.
I was once followed on a coastal walk for bloody miles. I was so relieved when the next village hove into view.The experience has stayed with me.

OP, you are right to be cautious and trust your instincts. I've walked many dogs for many years and if I'm alone, I stick to reasonably well worn routes where there is likely to be other people. I would not want to be a lone woman in a deserted forest (with or without a dodgy reputation). If previous posters find this silly or, fod forbid, prejudicial towards men then let them crack on. Maybe they should read the news more often. I'm not advising you to avoid getting the bus to work or to live in a nuclear bunker, I'm simply advising you to not walk as a lone woman in a deserted forest!

I've had this close to my home. Sadly my DDog had passed away but I still wanted to keep up the walks. I encountered a guy just sitting by the stream, no dog and a very unusual spot for people to stop. I ended up making a ridiculous long detour home. I just don't think many men understand how women have to judge every situation and circumstance all the time.

I agree with this as general advice. I'm not getting murdered for the sake of being polite.

@OrlandointheWilderness

Of couse, everyone is entitled to their opinion and that's the beauty of this site. What annoyed me was the supercilious and sneering tone of some of the posters. They appeared to me making the OP sound utterly irrational for even considering her safety as a lone woman in a deserted forest - one that according to locals has a dodgy reputation. I'm afraid I've seen enough to know that women cannot be as casual as men about their personal safety. Maybe the solitary man was studying the profusion of flora and fauna, who knows, but I personally wouldn't want to stick around to find out. That's my opinion which (as you say) I am free to air.