to find this man creepy on my walk?

[meggy96]

So I'm a 27 year old woman, dp and I moved recently from a city to a very rural hamlet. Opposite our house there is a large field which leads to a rather large, deep forest. Both of these nearly never have any other walkers, I've seen other dog walkers maybe three times since we moved here.

We have a young spaniel who I walk 95% of the time due to dp's working hours. When he and I walk the dog together, we walk through the field and then through the forest so I know the route and am familiar with the area. Neighbours mentioned that this forest does have some dodgy activity (dognapping in particular) so I've been hesitant to go in there on my own, dp has said this is a bit dramatic.

Today, I decide the dog needs a good long walk so I walk her across the field and then decide "be a big girl" ... I'll go into the forest. I'm about three minutes into the forest when up ahead of me, through the forest, I see a man walking towards me, on his own, no one with him and no dog. Highly unusual I think to myself. Then, I notice he stops walking, stays still and observes me, before turning around on himself and walking the way he'd came from (the direction I'm going) which is deeper into the forest. I immediately panicked, turned on my heel and ran with my dog back the way I'd come, through the forest and into the field, all the way home. I got home heart racing. Dp says it was probably nothing, probably it was -- but I just got a bad feeling. Aibu?

@Deathbyfluffy it's not unusual to see forest floors littered with condoms. Some forests are known spots for cottaging

I checked the wrong box🤦🏼‍♀️YANBU
I wouldn’t walk into a forest alone, no chance.

I’ve had a similar experience and it’s unnerving to say the least. I posted on the local Facebook page about my encounter and was advised I had a resemblance to another dog walker whose partner had assaulted her and it’s possible he thought I was her. It happened years ago, my dog was much younger, fitter and he’s big- but I wouldn’t count on a dog putting off an attacker.

If you felt uncomfortable you did the right thing.
Saying that the chap has every right to walk on a public footpath.
Since the pandemic lots of people seem to walk in my local woods/forest. I use to be able to walk the dog for hours without seeing a soul. Some with dogs, some without, some male, some female.
A lot of people I don't recognise. They could be new to the area or just working from home.
Or like us often choose new places to hike.
My almost 16 year old dog can't go far now.

I think you're mistaken:

I'm about three minutes into the forest when up ahead of me, through the forest, I see a man walking towards me, on his own, no one with him and no dog. Highly unusual I think to myself. Then, I notice he stops walking, stays still and observes me, before turning around on himself and walking the way he'd came from (the direction I'm going) which is deeper into the forest.

He turned around and changed direction so he was going into the forest ahead of OP.

No one said that the man was a threat - only a potential one.

We all know that men we know are more likely to kill us but that doesn't mean you're smart to ignore your gut feeling and follow a strange man into the woods.

I've been flashed on three separate occasions walking alone so I would always would trust your instincts.

No way would I be waking through a forest alone, your DH is coming from a place of privilege if thinks you're being OTT, obviously his experiences as a man aren't the same to those of women.

It is unusual to see forest floors littered with condoms.

There is a forest walk near me which is a notorious cottaging destination and I can assure you that it does happen!

We all know that men we know are more likely to kill us but that doesn't mean you're smart to ignore your gut feeling and follow a strange man into the woods.

Exactly. Whenever threads like this come up there is always someone ready to dismiss an OP's concern by pointing out that it's rare for strangers to randomly murder women. In 35% of murder cases, where the victim is a woman, no suspect is charged so we do not know their relationship to the victim, the murderer may be known or unknown to the woman. We know that on average strangers are responsible for 10- 15% of women who are murdered. Potentially 50% of women who are murdered are murdered by someone unknown to them.

Risk assessment requires consideration of consequence in addition to likelihood. The likelihood of being murdered by a stranger is very low but the consequence is a severe as it can get. So yes it's smart not to follow a stranger into the woods.

I see a man walking towards me, on his own, no one with him and no dog. Highly unusual I think to myself.

I think the fact that you thought him walking alone was weird, means you’re over reacting.

But it’s always better to be safe than sorry.

It’s very difficult going from a city to a more rural area.
I live in Cornwall and am used to rural areas but I still feel safer when there are more people around.

If there’s dog napping then I’d no way go in there by myself.

Never anything wrong with trusting your gut. I had a similar feeling about a man in the supermarket recently. I had my toddler with me, and he always seemed to be there in our proximity, hands in pockets, hanging around but not buying anything, constantly scanning his surroundings.
I kept a hold of my toddler and locked the car as soon as he was in, may have been nothing, but doesn't do any harm to play it safe.

What is cottaging?

It’s sad but I treat every man as a potential attacker. I size up his physical appearance and behaviour, the environment, and if I feel threatened I protect myself by getting away from him. A man who wouldn’t seem to be a threat in a public shopping centre could well make me feel threatened in an isolated forest. In that environment any slight oddity would put me on high alert.

You were right to think that this guy’s behaviour was odd. Why would he be walking along and suddenly turn back? His action was clearly triggered by your presence. So then you have to wonder what his motive is? Better safe than sorry I say.

It’s a tough one. I walk alone in a forest every day but I’m 50 I would not like my DD to do it as I see lots of men on their own. It makes me nervous and I do what I can to avoid them, rather than walk past them. Where I walk is a favourite gay meeting place too and there are a lot of men on their own looking at their phones and just looking dodgey. However, I love my walk and think if I end up perishing at the hands of a madman then so be it. I want to walk in the woods and be free. I wouldn’t advise a younger woman to chance it though. If anything I think my maturity would frighten them off. I just look meaner than a younger woman. And I’d fight like an animal unleashing years of pent up anger onto the perpetrator. He’d have to be brave.

Why would you walk through there alone? Honestly these days there is too many women being attacked. You said so yourself no one goes that way. If anything happened, no one would be around to help you. It just takes one time for someone to think 'it's ok let me go this way nothing will happen' for something to actually happen. Put your safety first.

Guys will never understand the fear us women have of walking through quiet areas by ourselves. Unfortunately these days attacks on women have become common and you can never be too careful.

I'd do the same

It's all well and good for your DH to comment, but men rarely get attacked, do they???

For goodness sake. Men can’t even go on a walk without a dog? This is crazy

^
Until they stop randomly attacking women, we can be as suspicious as we like, and ought to be!!

Nobody is saying men can’t go for a solo walk in an isolated setting without a dog but it is not irrational for a lone woman to be wary upon encountering them.

It's all well and good for your DH to comment, but men rarely get attacked, do they???

Actually they do. Attacked and murdered by strangers more frequently than women but very very rarely in isolated woodland settings.

I’m the same as you OP and would have felt and acted in the same way.

One day I got sick of looking over my shoulder and not wanting to walk at night so I bought myself a German shepherd. Problem solved 😄

No one can possibly know what this man's intentions were for turning back ahead of you, except for the man himself. Could have been nefarious or innocent. But it's better you are now questioning whether you were being dramatic than wishing you had listened to your gut.

I'm a woman, I don't own a dog and I like walking. I walk in forests, on moors, beaches and in towns - alone and without a dog. It wouldn't have occurred to me that walking without a dog was viewed as creepy!

But the context is different. Men get murdered as part of gang warfare or a drunken night out. Also women get murdered by people they know because they are WITH people they know and generally do not put themselves in situations where they are likely to get attacked by a stranger.

if women spent as much time alone with strangers as they do with their husbands then the stats might be different, and chilling.

plus, if you’re a man who has an urge to hurt a woman, where would you go? Straight to the woods and wait.

Men can walk when they like and where they like but they don't get to complete a risk assessment on my behalf and I reserve the right to remove myself from any situation if, for any reason at all, I consider a random man to be dodgy. If random man's feelings are hurt by my walking away then tough shit.

Listen to your gut. That most definitely sounds like a close call to me. My DH hates me taking dog out alone in the countryside, it is dangerous.

If he just walked past I wouldn't have given it a second thought but the fact he stopped, observed you then went back on himself, deeper in the forest where you were going to walk. You 100% did right. It's scary being a woman.