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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ask if you have an inner life?

234 replies

crochetmonkey74 · 28/09/2023 11:46

Really interesting conversation at work this morning - I was saying that I often walk around a bit oblivious whilst in town/ walking somewhere etc as I am thinking of all of my inner life things- things like bits of films I've seen, ideas for stories, lots of 'imagine if' scenarios. Other colleagues were split half and half between being the same and not having a clue what we were talking about - so for fun: have you got an inner life and what is it?

OP posts:
KimberleyClark · 28/09/2023 11:50

Yes I have. A rich one. Much like yours.

pippinsleftleg · 28/09/2023 11:51

Yes!

headcheffer · 28/09/2023 11:54

Yes of course!

sunnydayhereandnow · 28/09/2023 11:56

Definitely!

ladybird30 · 28/09/2023 11:56

Yes!
Apparently some people don't have an inner voice? Surely this can't be true... is it just silence in their?

Original poster
crochetmonkey74 · 28/09/2023 11:57

hooray! what sort of things do you guys think of?
Sometimes I am very transactional like planning meals, or events I am having, or thinking of things I am looking forward to. Other times I think very deliberate things like "today I am going to think about when I was walking around New York"
I can't imagine not having it. I can even remember some walks from being a kid and the things going on in my head whilst i was doing it

OP posts:
SeptemberSky · 28/09/2023 11:57

Yes, really helps get me through the tedious day to day stuff.

Boohooz · 28/09/2023 12:00

Lovely question, OP. Yep absolutely, though a shocking amount of my inner life seems to be spent on thinking about clothes - what I’ll wear to work, what dresses I could buy etc etc. Otherwise I am completely unsuperficial and profound obvs 😳

Snittler · 28/09/2023 12:00

I literally have no idea what you’re talking about. Although I can’t “picture” or “see” things in my head either.

I make plans (like what’s for dinner or what’s happening later) but they’re achievable, realistic, likely plans.

SisterAgatha · 28/09/2023 12:02

Yes I do. I ponder everything, look at the blue plaques around me, wonder who lives in each house, what the architecture is, image all the people who have lived there, what was it like during the war, what was here before (I grew up on a council estate that was once an apple orchard), the river pathways, who mapped them, wonder if this area floods. The sun is lower in the sky than usual, ever noticed a rainbow is always on the opposite side of the sun, Venus is out tonight, oh look there are two butterflies, did you know they aren’t dancing, they are fighting to the death.

^ inner thoughts

then I’ll ponder my existence and whether I think my work life is enriching.

Sometimes at lunch I visit a museum or gallery just to have more inner things to ponder. I work in a historical building too so sometimes I look at their archive room as we have old paintings. I do a lot of things alone as no one else is that bothered 🤣

SisterAgatha · 28/09/2023 12:05

Just to say that I manage to get a lot of things done in spite of my day dreaming, my friends often ask me how I cope with it all, and the answer is that I make lists so that I can save time for myself. I have a “things to google later” list too haha

Original poster
crochetmonkey74 · 28/09/2023 12:08

Boohooz · 28/09/2023 12:00

Lovely question, OP. Yep absolutely, though a shocking amount of my inner life seems to be spent on thinking about clothes - what I’ll wear to work, what dresses I could buy etc etc. Otherwise I am completely unsuperficial and profound obvs 😳

I regularly build capsule wardrobes in my head- as if I was starting from having nothing

OP posts:
AutumnDay90 · 28/09/2023 12:08

Op I am exactly the same as you!!! I think about everything- houses who lived here how old is it can I google it find out more
Think about things I've already researched!
Book plots both ones I've read and ones I might write (haha maybe if my inner life was less busy I'd have time to do so!)

Christmas decorations and presents and food
Outfits and planning and places were going/want to go to/been

The. I have a whole other imaginary life where I am the country lady with an old country pile or a buisness owner of whatever business takes my fancy that day

I'm exhausted from my inner and imaginary life! Haha

Original poster
crochetmonkey74 · 28/09/2023 12:09

SisterAgatha · 28/09/2023 12:05

Just to say that I manage to get a lot of things done in spite of my day dreaming, my friends often ask me how I cope with it all, and the answer is that I make lists so that I can save time for myself. I have a “things to google later” list too haha

this made me laugh as i have an 'Internet Research' list in my diary : )
I love daydreaming

OP posts:
ComtesseDeSpair · 28/09/2023 12:10

I think about stuff but I wouldn’t call it an “inner life” - surely musing on things which have happened, how they could have been different, things you’re going to do, conversations had, ideas for things you aspire to do etc is just part of life itself. I’d imagine virtually everyone does it, they’re just thrown by the phrasing.

Original poster
crochetmonkey74 · 28/09/2023 12:11

AutumnDay90 · 28/09/2023 12:08

Op I am exactly the same as you!!! I think about everything- houses who lived here how old is it can I google it find out more
Think about things I've already researched!
Book plots both ones I've read and ones I might write (haha maybe if my inner life was less busy I'd have time to do so!)

Christmas decorations and presents and food
Outfits and planning and places were going/want to go to/been

The. I have a whole other imaginary life where I am the country lady with an old country pile or a buisness owner of whatever business takes my fancy that day

I'm exhausted from my inner and imaginary life! Haha

I love having other lives in my head - one often involves a log cabin, homemade bread and my bike which gets me to the local town which is sometimes inexplicably in Canada

OP posts:
Isheabastard · 28/09/2023 12:11

I’m always doing it.

Interestingly I also read some people don’t have an inner minds eye.

They can’t visualise past memories. So for instance, although they could verbally describe their childhood home they don’t do it by seeing the images in their head.

Original poster
crochetmonkey74 · 28/09/2023 12:12

SisterAgatha · 28/09/2023 12:02

Yes I do. I ponder everything, look at the blue plaques around me, wonder who lives in each house, what the architecture is, image all the people who have lived there, what was it like during the war, what was here before (I grew up on a council estate that was once an apple orchard), the river pathways, who mapped them, wonder if this area floods. The sun is lower in the sky than usual, ever noticed a rainbow is always on the opposite side of the sun, Venus is out tonight, oh look there are two butterflies, did you know they aren’t dancing, they are fighting to the death.

^ inner thoughts

then I’ll ponder my existence and whether I think my work life is enriching.

Sometimes at lunch I visit a museum or gallery just to have more inner things to ponder. I work in a historical building too so sometimes I look at their archive room as we have old paintings. I do a lot of things alone as no one else is that bothered 🤣

Love this - art galleries are good for pondering

OP posts:
Original poster
crochetmonkey74 · 28/09/2023 12:13

ComtesseDeSpair · 28/09/2023 12:10

I think about stuff but I wouldn’t call it an “inner life” - surely musing on things which have happened, how they could have been different, things you’re going to do, conversations had, ideas for things you aspire to do etc is just part of life itself. I’d imagine virtually everyone does it, they’re just thrown by the phrasing.

apparently not- roughly a third to half of my colleagues this morning don't have that at all- other than the 'I must get to Tesco by 6 and I need bacon' sort of to do list thinking

OP posts:
CurlewKate · 28/09/2023 12:13

Mine's a mixture-sometimes a sort of running commentary on my life, sometimes I'm thinking about and drafting whatever piece of writing I'm working on. We were talking about this at Christmas-my adult dd does the same. DP and adult ds looked at us as if we were alien creatures.

Original poster
crochetmonkey74 · 28/09/2023 12:13

Isheabastard · 28/09/2023 12:11

I’m always doing it.

Interestingly I also read some people don’t have an inner minds eye.

They can’t visualise past memories. So for instance, although they could verbally describe their childhood home they don’t do it by seeing the images in their head.

Yes- my friend can't do mind pictures at all

OP posts:
minipie · 28/09/2023 12:15

I do this when I am trying to get to sleep, or if I am stuck somewhere with no internet/phone. I often do imaginary floorplans or town planning, or plan a holiday.

Any other time, if I am walking or waiting somewhere, I will be looking at my phone or listening to an audiobook or podcast.

I guess before phones I probably had more of an inner life!

Crikeyalmighty · 28/09/2023 12:16

Oh my goodness yes- I've spent hours in my head spending my (not yet) big lottery win, imaginary conversations with H when he's behaved like a twat, all kinds of stuff

KimberleyClark · 28/09/2023 12:16

Part of mine is a fantasy life with a TV show character I have long had a crush on! Also memories generally. I am retired, sometimes think about working but in a nostalgic and certainly not regretful way!

BemusedBrenda · 28/09/2023 12:24

I've found my people! When I was a child I used to look forward to "boring" activities like long journeys as it would give me time to "daydream" (my mum's word for it). It was particularly useful when I was a young adult and had to go clubbing. It would have been too dull for me to cope if I couldn't be somewhere else in my head at the same time.