to ask if you have an inner life?

[crochetmonkey74]

Really interesting conversation at work this morning - I was saying that I often walk around a bit oblivious whilst in town/ walking somewhere etc as I am thinking of all of my inner life things- things like bits of films I've seen, ideas for stories, lots of 'imagine if' scenarios. Other colleagues were split half and half between being the same and not having a clue what we were talking about - so for fun: have you got an inner life and what is it?

Yes, I am always talking to myself in my head. ..Sometimes its practical such as planning.meals, what to get people for birthdays sometimes it's speculative, eg wondering if X and y might get married , sometimes it's pure fantasy.
I can't imagine not having an inner voice

Yes, so much so when I go for my lunch time walk I have to decide if I am going to listen to an audiobook, or opt for music so I can live in my head for a bit 😂

Me again - another thought.

I do wonder if this ability/characteristic makes for a more contented life?? You hear so much nowadays about people who are bored and frustrated with their actual lives or - on MN - people who are really discontented and crave wealth and excitement. Now obviously if you're in poverty or in some other difficult situation daydreaming isn't going to solve your problems, but for many people who might live apparently boring, routine lives I would guess that having a rich inner life and using your imagination creatively is a great source of satisfaction and comfort.

If you're reasonably well-educated and have been exposed to the arts - or science - in any way that all helps to feed you imagination and inner life.

OP, you've made me realise why I'm usually such a contented person - I'm not wealthy and don't have an exciting life in most people's terms, but I'm as happy as the proverbial Larry because there's so much going on in my head!

Plus, it's your secret if you want it to be and it costs nothing!

No I don’t think everyone does think like this and we assume that because we do, others do too. It’s the whole basis for the term “overthinking”. I think many people under think things!

I usually have a daydream subject that I look forward to having at night while I'm falling asleep.

oh I do this and it’s joyful!

I know for sure that I’ve thought more on things that other people because we live on a particular stretch of a motorway. It runs right through our town but you’d never know, it’s built underneath. When I say, oh the shop/house etc is just past the motorway bridge… no one else knows where I mean. Barely anyone else looks down! And is always shocked when I say look over the top of the wall (it’s high) and you’ll see the motorway. They walk or drive over that bridge hundreds of times a day without looking past what’s in front of them. In my inner life that’s where I’d stash the money in a robbery as no one would bother to look 🤣

I’m a maladaptive daydreamer so I basically live in another world when the real one isn’t keeping me busy. I prefer it there in all honesty. I’m terrified that I will slip too deep into it though (one of my parents had early onset Alzheimer’s and I’m convinced they were disassociating for so many years as a symptom as well).

Yes! I am fairly quiet (introvert) but it is so loud and busy in my head I actually feel like I am loud and busy in real life. I am not.

Interestingly, of my two kids, one is the same as me, the other literally shouted WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT when I asked them if they had inner voices, stories, scenarios going on. They're very extrovert and externalise/verbalise everything, so it's not a surprise!!

There are benefits to both types, I'd say. I can live too much in my head sometimes, and sometimes it is also tiring: I had to literally 'shush' the cacophony in my head the other night as it was so noisy I couldn't sleep. Tbf, the voices, scenarios and music did all shut up when I asked ;)

It's a useful tool for positive affirmations too, I had a child very young but not once did I fear for the future, I have always pictured what I am striving for and have just convinced myself of it. I knew what type of house I wanted, what lifestyle, how I want my career to look, ive always taken it almost as certain and it's influenced my decisions and risky life, I've spent a lot of time visualising how I would achieve them. It's incredibly motivating, even when things pan out differently I just recalibrate!

It's how I knew I didn't want any more children, when I'd start to visualise a 3rd baby and realise that actually, what I had already was better than what life would be like (as I imagined at least) with a 3rd.

I fantasise too, it's not always realistic! Alas I've not won the lottery yet, but I've had fun with it in my head!

Oh and I also love to relive memories in my head too, I will go for a walk and relive every big moment in my head, or a holiday, almost hour by hour what we did.

In my inner life I'm a surgeon and regularly find myself in situations where I'm a) in a posh social situation with a famous sports team/cast of a movie b) called upon to save a famous life with a tricky medical manoeuver and c) while being incredibly well dressed 🤭

In real life I never have come into contact with famous people, I'm not a medic and I'm not well dressed.

I even make up conversations with the famous people I might bump into while being well-dressed and a highly-skilled medic 🤣

Yes! I spend a lot of time there - I work from home so when I’m doing mundane things like spreadsheets, I spend a bit of time in my ‘mind palace’, as Sherlock would say 😊

I found out who Travis Kelce was yesterday and he has featured heavily in today’s daydreams 😳

just semantics here i think - I explained what I meant by inner life in context of the thread- I was more interested that some of my colleagues don't have it

Oh yes, definitely!

Not as much as I used to, I must say. It was one thing when I was working and had a very long commute, could go for long walks, and wrote. Now ... I don't go out to work, I'm my mother's carer, and that creates a certain mental load. My travelling is all by car, so there's no time for daydreaming or focusing on anything but driving then. And when I'm at home relaxing I'm almost always on the internet, even when I'm knitting. My creativity went down the tubes over a decade ago, and most of my inner life with it.

YES! I do this with buildings - how would I turn that into a home?

I am not sure what inner life is, a lot of people here are just reliving memories or thinking about everyday things.

I think daydreaming/fantasizing is probably more what I do and is similar to Ponoka7's post.

I live a COMPLETELY different life inside my head, no money worries, sometimes I have a husband sometimes not, I look VERY different and I imagine myself in various different scenarios with various people, I can play instruments and sing, I am very fit, mentally balanced and intelligent. It is like a film or TV show unfolding in my head that I make up as I go along.

It is like escapism for me because my actual real world life is miserable and I am unhappy.

nope- I'm talking about a totally different thing as I explained

I don't hear my voice in my head unless it's part of my daydreaming. My other thoughts are represented by images. I don't think most people that lack an inner monologue just think of nothing. Obviously some people think of very little, other people have busy practical minds, others are daydreamers etc.

I like listening to music and building out stories that align with the songs I listen to quite a lot. I tell myself stories as I drift off to sleep too or if I'm on a dog walk. Usually the worlds they are based in are drastically different to the real world - fantastical settings. The people in my daydreams are often real people that I know.

Yes, that’s maladaptive daydreaming. It’s often a trauma response or symptomatic of adhd/ASD. A full escapism into a life you’re in control of to block out everything that’s out of your control in the real world.

Oh yes. I have a constant dialogue in my head. I’m the worst for noticing anyone when I’m out and about as I’m always in my dream world 😂

Absolutely yes. I write for fun and have a long-standing cast of characters who never leave me alone! Also I am a successful singer (can’t hold a tune in rl) married to my musician crush. We live in a beautiful house above a beach and when not touring we take long walks and go swimming

No inner voice, no that's just weird. My head has so much going on, always. I have to deliberately manage it to focus and process conversations with other people.

Someone mentioned people who don't have a "minds eye' tho. I'm one of those people. I only realised a year or so ago at most that I'm atypical. I always thought of it as a kind of metaphor, my version is kind of abstract and descriptive in words. I'm atypical in a lot of ways 🤷‍♂️ just another one on the list

I think about my alternate lives. One is standing on a balcony in Hong Kong watching fireworks, wearing expensive jewels whilst sipping champagne. Ahhh….sliding doors and all that. Whilst in reality I’m cleaning out the litter tray.

I don’t have inner voices or inner images, but I do think about interesting things, plan stories, etc as I walk around, and get very absorbed. Has led to me being hit by a car once, breaking bones while cycling by riding into stationary objects, and other near misses, and is one reason I haven’t learned to drive yet!

This is what started our conversation- as I hadn't noticed something in our town at the weekend (a new sculpture thats hard to miss)

I am rarely bored- I can entertain myself - I used to play this game to kill time when I worked in a shop "If i had to choose one of these handbags which would it be? now what dress would go with it?" "If i had £100 to spend in here what would I buy?" that sort of thing

Interesting, thanks. I've not heard of that, might look into it.

The thing is, what bothers me about my life is 100% in my control it is just so hard to deal with so I just shut down.

I wish I could leave my body behind and live inside my dreamworld.

On a less solemn note I wish we could record these daydreams and watch them back, what an epic move that would be🍿😆