to ask if you have an inner life?

[crochetmonkey74]

Really interesting conversation at work this morning - I was saying that I often walk around a bit oblivious whilst in town/ walking somewhere etc as I am thinking of all of my inner life things- things like bits of films I've seen, ideas for stories, lots of 'imagine if' scenarios. Other colleagues were split half and half between being the same and not having a clue what we were talking about - so for fun: have you got an inner life and what is it?

It's not just thinking it's more like immersion like your body is there sat at your desk typing or whatever but your brain is doing something totally other. Like your body is at your desk but your mind is off having a bath. I once weed myself because I couldn't come out of a scenario

I maladaptive daydream.

During the first lockdown, when DH and I were trapped at home with two small children and both under a lot of pressure at work, I started to daydream an alternate life for myself. In this imaginary life I lived alone in my favourite European city, in an imaginary apartment that I constructed in a very high level of detail in my minds eye. In this alternate life I have an unspecified job that is very creative and interesting and well paid, but also doesn't require me to do a lot. I could describe to you everything about this apartment, the artwork on the walls, the layout of the rooms, all the furniture and furnishings, the plants. I used to retreat into this fantasy whenever I was feeling overwhelmed, obviously a coping strategy my brain needed to cope with all the stress and weirdness of that time. I don't do it very often now but I can still picture it all very clearly if I want to.

Not really. Happy in my life. Dream of having a property abroad. That's about it.

Yes, I do. Its often better than my real life.

I often think of imaginary scenarios, stories, re-run events but with different endings, re-run films with different (better) endings. Build imaginary scrap books, collections or idea boards. Re-play conversations Ive had. Think about etymology, run through book ideas. The list is endless really.

Yup, wondering what demographic change would look like, thinking about whether the west is caught in a death spiral, thinking about what impact the normalisation of relations between GCC countries and Israel will mean for the region. Also what I would do in the event of a zombie apocalypse/ aliens what kind of super hero I would be, think about my perfect home etc. I’m rarely actually mentally completely present tbh. Not sure if thats a good thing.

I find constructing a story really helpful to get to sleep.

I have an inner dialogue (I.e. thinking etc) but it is no more than 'I must book an appointment wth the hairdresser, or I need to leave now to avoid traffic'.

It's more action oriented than day dreaming. I rarely day dream and am very much on the here and now if that makes any sense.

I posted about it on here before but I was very surprised to find out a lot of people have zero thoughts in their head. The only think when asked to or prompted by something. I found that bizarre but they thought the sane about me.

Absolutely this! My inner life doesn’t stop me getting on with my real life, it just stops me from ever getting bored.

Fellow introvert here.

I'm not so sure about it being maladaptive though or linked to ASD/ADHD.

I have tested negative for both and didnt have a traumatic childhood and I'm in control of my life (Director level and live alone).

Yep. Constant thinking, internal dialogue, reflection on the past, being present in the "now", dreaming about the future (whether real or fantasy), "what if" scenarios, etc.

When I was a teenager I spent most of my time in my ‘inner life’ I walked my dog for hours every day completely absorbed in my thoughts. My mum was always very pleased with my commitment to dog ownership, but I didn’t ever really pay any attention to the poor dog when we were out!

Nowadays it’s less vivid to me but still there when I have the chance to be alone with my thoughts.

Absolutely. I can’t imagine not having one.

What sort of thing do you write? Being nosy

Same. See ya world, I’m in a different one.

I find my mind is constantly THINKING. I am terrible at staying in and love being active so I spend a lot of time walking or cycling around and really enjoy it. Whether it's dreaming about things like winning the lottery and what I would do, planning real life things, going over things that have happened in the past, dreaming about my work projects, ideas for work that come out of nowhere (I am self employed and create my own work) and looking at the architecture and scenery and people and imagining myself running a coffee shop/whatever I happen to pass and often these thoughts are LAYERED over each other.

And on top of that there is a constant SOUNDTRACK!! Full songs playing in my head at all times, exactly as you would hear them on the radio. Occasionally I will also get a 'shot' of a random memory crop up out of nowhere for no reason. That I find really weird.

I know people who meditate and I cannot imagine ever been able to clear my mind. I think it actually might be a symptom of ADHD, having looked up the symptoms in girls it resonates with what I was like at school. Good at work but choosing to work in very short bursts and reading constantly. I was never without a book. In the time before phones I remember also being obsessed with counting, so much so that I remember really struggling with getting my brain to stop constantly counting. But now we have phones I can read obsessively there instead and also chat a lot of the day to my friends.

This all might sound exhausting but apart from the period of being very frustrated by the inner counting (I don't count any more) I am really happy and have a rich and varied and social life as well as an active inner one. The only thing I do find frustrating are my crap domestic skills. I would love to live in a clean and tidy house but instead choose to close the door on it and head out into the world for adventures.

I’ve never thought of it as an ‘inner life’. Just thinking, pondering, mind wandering.

I would only think it’s seen as maladaptive by people who don’t do it. For people that do it just weaves in and out of reality. I think it enhances life and helps cope with and navigate reality rather than getting in the way of it. imagination makes us Gods

I actually have thus condition but it's was acquired after a head injury and post concussion syndrome.

It's called aphantasia and it means to have no mind's eye. I lost the ability to see in my mind's eye after my head injury and if I'm honest, it's kind of ruined my life in many ways. I feel depressed that I can no longer have a rich vivid imagination, picture my family's faces or see memories in my head.

I used to also be able to hear any music or sounds that I wished, yet now I barely hear much and it is mostly darkness.

I wish I could go back to seeing things in my mind's eye again, and I know it sounds like it's a trivial problem, but I guess for me, it's knowing what I've lost that makes it so hard 💔 😔

Yes obviously. However any kind of Internet post that is multi paragraph I just scroll on by. Stop vomiting your brain into random posts. Shhhh
Nobody cares.

I can, unfortunately. Buy only because I lost my ability to see in my mind's eye. It has been a pretty devastating loss 😥💔

I think this is maladaptive daydreaming. I googled it recently as I do this a lot and the NHS website said its a very serious condition 😅

Yes I do this, always thought I was a bit odd! I think I've always been like this but it definitely got more intense during lockdown, I think I use it as a coping mechanism. I have full conversations in my head with people in my RL, usually when they have annoyed me but sometimes the conversations are nothing to do with anything going on in my life! My main 'go to' is basically a film/book I'm writing in my head, it's cr*p and not something I'd even attempt to actually release but I love it, the plot always goes my way 😄 I even turn the radio off when I'm in the car on my own just to think. I have a very lovely family but I do really treasure my own time to get lost in my thoughts

I'm still like this now!

All my favourite jobs have been the monotonous one's because I can just get in my head all day.

It's also what I find the hardest about being a SAHM with two small children - I so rarely get that time to dream.

Some people don't hear or see anything. It's called aphantasia. And they can even have no clue about their own personal memories either

Wow this thread is amazing, I too have never been bored a moment in my life.

I said that to someone the other day and they looked at me like I was mad!