School mums asking for money

[Nesquik1]

Well not quite that but…..on WhatsApp group Someone suggested for birthdays we should not buy any presents but just give cash. I’ve got no issue with that but one of them has now volunteered herself to collect all the money for all birthdays! I don’t know why but I’m finding all this really odd and dictatorship.

If you want to give a present or cash do it but now there’s a list going “I’ve just transferred x amount did you get it?” etc. plus this volunteer is now going to make a list of all the parents names and how much each one giving?! I’m finding it so bloody odd, am I being weird or is this set up weird? The kids are 4/5 surely they want to open presents rather than get money put into mums account.

What would you do? Follow the sheep and transfer money and it’s done or decide yourself for each child whether to buy a gift or give cash?

This!
Honestly, by the time we were at the end of primary school I couldn't wait to move on so not to deal with all the nonsense and some of the awful parents!

I wouldn’t like this either. I will put money in a card if I haven’t had the opportunity to go buy a small gift, but I prefer to hand over a preset. I imagine a child would feel a bit put out if no one shows up with a present?! My DS age 4 certainly doesn’t give a shit about money. Someone put a tenner in his birthday card and he handed it to me in the same hand as his rubbish. Hand him over a £7 bit of tat from the works and he’s all over it lol

I always refuse to give money presents for pre teens. I think children would rather open a gift however small.

Yip thats another way for money to go missing. Borrow and never paid back in full or loose track of what she's borrowed.

But I think the poster who mentioned the office worker creaming of each sale might have it. £100 gift (actually bought of amazon for £80) £20 in the pocket.

Lots of ways for money to be scammed out of this.

Such a weird cash grab by greedy parents. The bank transfer is for the parents, not the kids.

If it's for the parent to sponsor a big party then the parents should live within their means imo. Or maybe it's better phrased as "let's all have regular big birthday bashes that all the kids will enjoy, and we can all contribute to a cost", instead of "pls donate".

A group present makes sense because there's some fun and meaning attached. But I think here's it's just cash. So, instead of transferring (say) the same virtual £100 around pointlessly throughout the year, why doesn't each parent just keep the original £100 and buy their own kid a present with that? Is it about cash flow timing?

It's basically pointless. So 30 kids in a class let's say. Say everyone gives £5 per child. Each child will receive £145. Each parent will pay out £145. What's the point? May as well just give your own kid £145 on their birthday.

I'd personally just comment saying it's a great idea but I've decided to buy gifts instead personally I'd never be in a mummy whatsapp group all that high school crap your an adult do what you wany to do

God no, not at that age! Part of the fun for them is ripping open the present. It is also dictating to people what they should do. What about the pressure on people to give a certain amount? Terrible that they list the amounts. I would opt out of this one and do your thing.

Not a chance. It’s likely that this will fizzle out either in part or altogether as the school year progresses

I would not be entertained by this idea.

Very weird, surely your just constantly moving money between accounts which is pointless.

It also won’t teach the children the social etiquette of taking a gift for a birthday

Have had years on these parent WhatsApp groups, and yea they are a bit mad!

My advice. Silence the chat, and only drop in to it when you need to find something out etc.

It is odd indeed. Fair enough for teachers gifts and end of the year but not kids.

This is so strange.

Yous have a birthday club going for every single child in the class and you contribute to giving them something for their birthday regardless if your child is friends with that child or not?

Absolutely nuts. I wouldn't be taking part in this nonsense.

Exactly this!

I wonder how many other parents out of 22 have replied now.

Thinking about my school group WhatsApp chats, the people who use it a lot are very keen, but the minority.
A lot of parents hardly ever use it, and I expect all the people who think this is a good idea are chatty on there and the people who think it’s a crap idea are just not engaging at all.

You could just not reply, OP

I thin k it is best to start as you mean to go on by not contributing. Party invitations reduce after the first year, and it would be difficult to extricate yourself once involved.

At £5 a head for 21 children bossy mum is potentially netting £3k !!

someone should tell school - as well intentioned as it may be it’s still a massive risk (or a decent holiday!!)

it’s linked to school by virtue of the kids all being in the class and that being the purpose. The school/governors/LEA/academy won’t want any connection without control !!

My daughter is in reception and I deffo won’t be doing anything like this! The only collection I’d do is for the teacher!

So glad I'm not part of a class whatsapp group

Too crass to give money to a small child you don't really know. I'd go with the line of 'Thanks, but we prefer to choose a gift ourselves'. Talk about taking all the fun out of gift giving with a bank transfer to the parent instead. Very odd.

I haven’t RTFt but this sounds weird - very controlling. I hate being controlled. The fact that others have gone along with it suggests that others have already fallen victim to the proposer’s charm/authority/control. I suggest that you stick your head above the parapet and very politely say that you don’t like the idea of this and an indication of your reasons why. I bet a few others will agree with you. If not you can still withdraw from the system. No one can tell you what to do.

So one parent is collecting all the money for all the kids?

So 30 parents paying £5 for 30 kids

That’s £4500.

is everyone just paying £150 upfront at the start of the year to cover everyone.

or every time someone has a party this one parent is collecting £5 each on their parents behalf?

so my little Johnny has a birthday and Sandra collects £5 off everyone and then gives it to me?

I can’t get my head round it!

Oh dear. I don't think they've really thought this idea through, have they?