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AIBU?

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Original poster

To be profoundly saddened by this story

615 replies

Changeditforyou · 27/09/2023 13:28

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-12565699/Police-rush-scene-incident-outside-busy-Croydon-shopping-centre.html

They tell us to help our daughters to protect themselves from male violence by thinking about what they wear, how much they drink, how late to stay out, where they go…
Are we supposed to add to the list ‘not rejecting a bunch of flowers in case you get stabbed to death’. This is horrifying.

I’m so so sick of male violence. It feels everywhere and inescapable. More luck than anything that your daughter isn’t the one. This poor girl and her family.

Teenage boy stabbed girl, 15, to death with 'a machete after argument'

Met Police officers rushed to Wellesley Road outside the Whitgift shopping centre. Paramedics battled to save the 15-year-old's life but she was pronounced dead at the scene.

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-12565699/Police-rush-scene-incident-outside-busy-Croydon-shopping-centre.html

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
SweetcornFritter · 27/09/2023 17:01

Changeditforyou · 27/09/2023 15:45

Jesus I hadn’t thought it of it like that, sends chills down my spine.
Doesn’t this actually perfectly sum up men’s attitude towards us though

Show quote history

No I really don’t think that it does. Not all men murder women when they get rejected, in fact I would estimate that 99.9% don’t. Being enraged by men generally when something terrible like this happens is really not helpful imo.

Ponoka7 · 27/09/2023 17:02

ArcaneWireless · 27/09/2023 16:42

Deeply upsetting but not surprising.

The more men get to say what they are entitled to be, how they are entitled to act and as long as women and girls are told to be quiet and kind and their opinions mean nothing in comparison, then scenarios like this will only ever become more frequent.

It isn’t just how they are being raised.

Politicians endorse policies that put women back in their box so that men can shine. The justice system shows us year after year how women don’t matter. Men infiltrate womens sports and safe spaces and grab scholarships and it is celebrated - not just accepted.

You are always going to get bad apples. But the more the message seeps into the consciousness of males they are entitled and that women don’t matter, the more they will think they are, we don’t, and they can do as they please.

That poor young woman.

All because he got hurt feelings /was rejected.

How dare he take her life because he was told ‘no’.

He’ll likely be treated reasonably because he ‘snapped’, is young, deserves rehabilitation, etc.

And all this will do is to show other young boys and men that they’ll get a light sentence and also get educated/learn a trade so that they can be given a second bite at the cherry.

She won’t ever get that second bite.

All because some young man has been shown in so very many ways his entitlement comes first.

I'd wait and see. We had the murder of 12 year old Ava White here in Liverpool and the 14 year old perpetrator was sentenced to life. It's disappointing that the minimum he serves is only 13 years, but even that amount wasn't expected. His family had to relocate from the night it happened because of threats.

Fuckthatguy · 27/09/2023 17:02

@Sunshinenrain thank you, that explanation is helpful.

Somaliwildass · 27/09/2023 17:03

SweetcornFritter · 27/09/2023 17:01

No I really don’t think that it does. Not all men murder women when they get rejected, in fact I would estimate that 99.9% don’t. Being enraged by men generally when something terrible like this happens is really not helpful imo.

Show quote history

Statistically men do this more than women.

YetMoreNewBeginnings · 27/09/2023 17:03

Unsure754 · 27/09/2023 16:36

Exactly, I could not believe it.

He very quickly backtracked when I told my daughter what a damaging view this was , that the boys feelings good or bad are completely irrelevant, and asked the head how they would keep my child safe.

I still can’t quite believe that I heard this in a school in 2022, but then again I can.

Show quote history

It’s shocking how ingrained it is in some school staff.

We had similar when my then 13yo got in bother because they were excluding a girl who had dumped his friend - they wouldn’t let her sit with them at lunch, wouldn’t let her join in football. It happened two days in a row and her Mum (rightly) spoke to the school and messaged the parent WhatsApp group. It’s a small school so all the parents know each other. Of the 8 boys involved only mine and one other were actually hauled over the coals by their parents.

The range of “oh dear, boys…” was staggering. Then it wasn’t helped by the school HT declaring that it’s “difficult when boys are hurting because they need an outlet and the girl is sadly the most obvious”. It had a serious air of “and that’s just how it works” about it.

Thankfully he left shortly after, and the new HT is very no nonsense with that sort of thing. He is now HT at a much bigger school, which is worrying with his attitude.

Lifeomars · 27/09/2023 17:05

ShortnStout87 · 27/09/2023 16:52

All you have to do is look at 3 of the top stories on the BBC the Croydon stabbing, Wootton and Fox and their disgusting comments and the Spanish coach to tell you how the state we live in views women as objects. It feels like it is everywhere and nothing is being done about it.

It's so grim. I was watching the ITV drama about the Yorkshire Ripper on catch up, it seems pretty good in that it focuses on all those women whose lives he ended rather than on him. What really depressed me was the way that we have not moved on at all from those days in relation to entrenched misogyny from the police and society in general. It always seems to be the woman's fault when she is killed. raped, or abused, and must have played a part in provoking the male who offended. I am beyond sick of it. I do not know a single female of my acquaintance who has not had some sort of disturbing encounter with a male. Some of them really don't think females are human

AccidentallyWesAnderson · 27/09/2023 17:06

er no!
Not all men are like that. Stop with this anti men nonsense

Wasn't long before the NAMALTS appear! Males commit 98% of violent and sexual crime, towards females and other men.

LET US SPEAK ABOUT THAT.

SpringViolet · 27/09/2023 17:07

SoundTheSirens · 27/09/2023 16:34

Just read the BBC news report...it's all knife crime, Croydon, "thoughts and prayers"...

This is MEN. Male violence is the problem. It might not be all men but it's far too fucking many of them. And if you're a man and you happen to be reading this and you're not actively standing up for women and girls at every opportunity, if you're not challenging your mates when they talk sexist shit, if you're not being a role model to your sons demonstrating respect of women's and girls' boundaries and autonomy - then you're part of the fucking problem and you need to cop on.

This boy isn’t even a man yet though. He’s a kid carrying a bloody machete and he horrifically murdered another child with it. On her way to school! I can’t even think about what her parents are going through right now.

It is absolutely horrific. What kind of a society do we live in when a child carries a machete at 8.30 in the morning to kill another child in full public view because she didn’t want to be in a relationship with him.

Yet people complain about stop and search infringing human rights.

Can he be tried as adult at 17? He’ll be out in a few years if not with it expunged from his record?

AccidentallyWesAnderson · 27/09/2023 17:07

It's not all men but it's far far too many men. Just become your wee jimmy is lovely doesn't take away from this fact.

bookworm14 · 27/09/2023 17:08

Not all men, but far too many men, and it almost always is men.

Billyhargrovesmullet · 27/09/2023 17:11

Absolutely horrendous

FarEast · 27/09/2023 17:11

Just imagine how much money we would save as a society if men weren't allowed out except under very tight restrictions.

So I think we should just put all men under house arrest. We'd give them nice houses, though Grin

SweetcornFritter · 27/09/2023 17:11

Somaliwildass · 27/09/2023 17:03

Statistically men do this more than women.

Show quote history

Yes, and? I was responding to a post that suggested that murdering women was a typical repsonse of men if they get rejected which is clearly nonsense.

CustardySergeant · 27/09/2023 17:12

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Please explain that comment Everyhow.

tellmewhenthespaceshiplandscoz · 27/09/2023 17:12

Not All Men Are Like That

tellmewhenthespaceshiplandscoz · 27/09/2023 17:12

Leafstamp · 27/09/2023 17:00

NAMALT = Not All Men Are Like That

Sorry Leaf x post

mummymeister · 27/09/2023 17:16

Too many young males with no strong male role models. Young men who father children they have no intention of supporting morally or physically if at all. And we all stand around and wring our hands at this time, and time and time again. Its time that women, all women were empowered by each other, to rise up against these half men and tell them to stick their dicks where the sun doesnt shine. we all have to support young women to stop feeling that they only count if they have a man, any man. and that having a baby will make them stay when it wont. Honestly I have so, so had enough with this shit. All of them, watching porn portraying women as possessions. There needs to be an holistic joined up approach centred around women. we need to stop pandering to men who think its their right to watch porn, to father children and then walk away and to make us fearful.

YetMoreNewBeginnings · 27/09/2023 17:18

Men are the bulk of the problem. They commit the bulk of the crimes against women.

Until it’s socially unacceptable to other men treat women like shit it’s going to continually happen.

Thelnebriati · 27/09/2023 17:18

Too many young males with no strong male role models.
Young men have plenty of strong male role models - men like Andrew Tate & Lawrence Fox are male role models.

Catastrophejane · 27/09/2023 17:19

BrokenButNotFinished · 27/09/2023 14:32

Why do we need to know about her school fees?? Is there a narrative being peddled here that she thought herself too good for him (since it isn't clear he went to the same school)...?? It has to be her fault somehow. 🤨

I think it’s to highlight that ‘this kind of thing doesn’t usually happen here’, and possibly ( though much darker reason) also to show she was a ‘nice’ girl who didn’t deserve this.

just another version of misogyny basically. So depressing.

mathanxiety · 27/09/2023 17:19

Being enraged by men generally when something terrible like this happens is really not helpful imo.

@SweetcornFritter

An act of violence like that doesn't happen in a vacuum, unless you are going to blame mental illness for it, something unique to the individual perpetrator.

Do you honestly not understand that women are seen and treated as lesser beings by men, and that we have only very recently been accorded the rights we currently enjoy, and that we have had to fight really, really hard to secure those rights? Do you not understand who it was who stood in our way?

Can you honestly not see the cultural context of a murder done because a man did not think a woman had a right to say no to him?

MoonShinesBright · 27/09/2023 17:20

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

JANEY205 · 27/09/2023 17:20

Terrible! I used to live in croydon and never ever felt safe there. It’s irrelevant the cost of their school, it’s still a horrible rough area with a lot of youth violence. Nothing excuses what this boy has done however!

As the mother of only sons these kinds of stories do impact me in a slightly different way, as I wonder how can I make sure my sons never ever resort to any violence on a woman! I think it starts with parenting, strong role models and making sure they aren’t consuming harmful crap on the internet. There will always be some bad eggs but the amount of young males that are violent towards women is shocking.

ThisIsokaay · 27/09/2023 17:26

That poor girl , how absolutely heartbreaking. An unforgivable evil thing to happen and clearly premeditated. Just awful

Applesaarenttheonlyfruit · 27/09/2023 17:26

Theunamedcat · 27/09/2023 14:59

Why the FUCK is the cost of her education important? Does it make a difference in the eyes of the law?

Of course not, but it’s telling us no one is safe, you can’t buy your way out of this.