Friend took advantage of house sitting?

[Champgal]

I recently went away for a few weeks and a friend of mine and her partner stayed at the house to give my cat his daily medication he needs. Friend always likes to stay over as she lives in a small single bed flat with her partner and I live in a 3 bed house with garden so she says it’s like staying in a nice air bnb for a while. While it’s a nice favour that she looks after the cat, I returned to find that my car keys weren’t where I left them. I asked her about this and she said she used the car for a friend to give her some driving lessons in. This was never discusses and I also found the tank to be almost empty considering I left it with half a tank. I also found out from another friend that she hosted small get together a with friends. Though nothing was broken or got out of hand, I can’t help feel that it’s taking the piss a little. All my bath bombs I got in a set for my birthday were used and she had also forgot to take the recycling out for three weeks and the bin was overflowing, resulting in an awful smell when we came home. Should I say something? Or do I just ask someone else next time and not mention it? Or am I just being fussy and should I just be thankful for the help.

Exactly this
Also fits in with the idea of it being a break / air bnb for her.
Set some rules next time
Def no car

She is totally taking the piss! My sister did the same thing. Had gatherings, drank expensive wine that we were keeping, made a £10 phone call, put bubble bath in the jacuzzi so that it crawled up the walls and I spent ages cleaning all the marks off. Telling me she was going to leave her car in my drive, not asking, telling! Oh and using my address as hers so all her debt collectors came chasing her at my house! We don't talk anymore 😂

What a joke, I'd be super pissed off about all of those things.
Knowing me I'd just passive aggressively not ask her again and be quietly pissed off. So I can't really suggest an alternative! I'd love you to say something to her face though.
Also I bet she was using your car to and from work to save her own money on fuel.

So what are your plans @Champgal ? Are you going to talk to them about it?

Also I bet she was using your car to and from work to save her own money on fuel

Given that she doesn't have a licence, that would be even more of an issue.

Consider this a learning curve. Even if you never use her again. You have high lighted that no conversation happened that expressed boundaries to her.

List all the things you wasn't happy with and pre-empt more that could have happened.

Then ask the next person that looks after your home tolook at the exceptions /boundaries and ask if they except them.. make this your terms for looking after your house.

List all the things you wasn't happy with and pre-empt more that could have happened.

I house sit for various clients. None of them have ever felt the need to say 'don't use my car' because it wouldn't occur to them that someone would be stupid enough to do something illegal. You might as well put 'don't juggle with fireballs' or 'don't invite an organised crime syndicate round for a meeting in the living room'.

Things like where the recycling goes and when, yes. What consumables to help yourself to and what not to, yes. But whether or not to drive a car without insurance? Not going on the list and any reputable house sitter would be offended that it needed to be on there.

He has no car either and therefore absolutely no way anyone has any insurance?! I don't think they have any idea how illegal this is. It's fair enough saying they will cover the cost but they don't actually know they could. For example, if they hit someone else's car with yours that could easily cost more than they have to cover it. Taking a car without consent is also a crime. Fuming is an understatement for what I would be!

I wouldn't even have her popping in to feed the cat; if she's got the keys, there's nothing stopping her from staying over without telling you. Find someone else next time.

Soooo. When the NIP comes through from the police what are you going to do?

You are lucky your car was not seized and impounded.

If not done already I would definitely report the use of your vehicle to pre empt and speeding tickets or otherwise that you may be responsible for.

She wasn't rinsing the recycling before putting it in? Ewwww

@BettyPhuckzer @Passepartoute

You have to wash anything that goes in recycling, or else it goes into Landfill or Incinerator

@Champgal

Personally I'd be really ticked off at your friend's actions in my home, especially at the illegal use of my car. I hope you know not to let her "house sit" again and, if you plan of having house sitters again do ensure both sides are aware of the rules/expectations.

• Did you get your keys back from your friend?
• Would you feel safer changing the lock/adding an extra security lock so she can't help herself to your home in future?
• Also consider putting a krooklock or similar on your steering wheel and hide your keys to make if very hard for the next cheeky bugger/thief. 🌹

Yes at a price. Much better to have someone stay there

Definitely mention the car and don't have her again.

So if her partner has no car, he then has no car insurance, so they were both driving without insurance, which means had they been stopped by the police, the police would have confiscated your car!!!

This would absolutely be the killer for me in this. Absolutely would never have this friend stay in your home again, I'd also change the locks on the off chance her or her partner has had your keys cut!!

I wouldn't ask her to cat-sit again. Your eighbour is in the best place to look after your cat.

Half of tank of petroleum doesn’t sound like lessons to me.

What about if she had been involved in an RTC and seriously injured or even killed someone? Not to mention the fact that as you hadn't given her permission to drive the car, she had in fact, stolen it. Definitely time to find someone else to look after your cat when you go away in future.

If she'd crashed the car I have no doubt whatsoever that all her claims of, I would have seen you alright and that you wouldn't have been inconvenienced or out of pocket, would have gone out of the window the minute she realised that she was likely to end up with a criminal record, and responsible for paying probably several thousand pounds to put the car right. Personally I think she's a CF and having broken my trust like this, would want no more to do with her.

OMG! I couldn’t read on after the car bit. I don’t know where to begin with this. Is she a bit thick?. Taking your car without your permission is theft. She wouldn’t be insured so if someone suffered life changing injury’s as a result of something she did wrong (strong possibility given she CAN’T drive) she could be liable for thousands if not millions in ongoing treatment and care. She could even go to prison. That level of stupidity beggars belief. How old is she! The the other stuff is incidental. Get your neighbour to look after you cat next time or pay professionals.

Nice to know that she would cover the cost of any accident. She is extremely naïve. It would not just be the damage to you modest car. The insurer’s of the driver who caused the Great Heck (Selby) rail crash paid out £22 million. Ten people died and the driver went to jail. Does she have that kind of money?

Never ever give her the keys again and id distance myself from this user.
Use a cattery next time.

@Champgal would having cctv fitted to the main areas be possible ?

She sounds like a self entitled user. What age is she? I have a friend like this. It took decades of this bullshit before I finally stepped away from her. Please save yourself all that stress and downgrade your friendship now.

The recycling is obnoxious, the bath bombs cheeky and the car theft outrageous. And instead of a heartfelt apology after you found out (what else did she get up to?) she has minimised and shrugged it off.

What a horrible person.