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AIBU?

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Original poster

Friend took advantage of house sitting?

437 replies

Champgal · 27/09/2023 05:20

I recently went away for a few weeks and a friend of mine and her partner stayed at the house to give my cat his daily medication he needs. Friend always likes to stay over as she lives in a small single bed flat with her partner and I live in a 3 bed house with garden so she says it’s like staying in a nice air bnb for a while. While it’s a nice favour that she looks after the cat, I returned to find that my car keys weren’t where I left them. I asked her about this and she said she used the car for a friend to give her some driving lessons in. This was never discusses and I also found the tank to be almost empty considering I left it with half a tank. I also found out from another friend that she hosted small get together a with friends. Though nothing was broken or got out of hand, I can’t help feel that it’s taking the piss a little. All my bath bombs I got in a set for my birthday were used and she had also forgot to take the recycling out for three weeks and the bin was overflowing, resulting in an awful smell when we came home. Should I say something? Or do I just ask someone else next time and not mention it? Or am I just being fussy and should I just be thankful for the help.

OP posts:
SmileyClare · 27/09/2023 13:33

Come on, her boyfriend doesn’t own a bleeding car! How the fuck was she “under the impression he was covered”

Covered by what? Some mythical law that states if you get in any car you can drive it?

She must think you’re an idiot if she wants you to believe that crap.

Justhereforthebabynames · 27/09/2023 13:35

Your friend looked after your cat for 3 weeks. I'd just thank her for being ace.

MargotBamborough · 27/09/2023 13:36

Justhereforthebabynames · 27/09/2023 13:35

Your friend looked after your cat for 3 weeks. I'd just thank her for being ace.

Being ace?

She and her boyfriend went joyriding in the OP's car.

WowOK · 27/09/2023 13:37

Don't let her house sit again.

Using your bath bombs = CF
Not putting bins out =Lazy
Using your car = Outrageous and potentially very costly for you.

Fuck that. She well and truly overstepped the line.

I'd say nothing but in future ask the neighbour to pop on and fed the cat. Lock car keys and valuables away. Save on your own gas, electric, water ect. Bring the neighbour back a lovely gift. It will cost you less than someone crashing your car uninsured.

SmileyClare · 27/09/2023 13:39

MargotBamborough · 27/09/2023 13:36

Being ace?

She and her boyfriend went joyriding in the OP's car.

Show quote history

I’m assuming typo and that meant to read “Don’t thank her for being an arse”

HollaHolla · 27/09/2023 13:40

Everything else I could overlook, but THE CAR!?!?
Sorry - she's breaking the law, and using your car to do so. That's appalling.
I house sit for my parents quite a bit. I know I'm welcome to have 2 or 3 friends over for drinks/a BBQ, and they know these friends; we're all very respectful of the space. My Mum even says 'Why didn't you drink the wine in the fridge?', because we bring our own. Their house has a bigger garden than the shared city one I have access to, so enjoy that aspect.

The car is a massive deal. I would tell her that the car could be impounded, and your job could also be at risk. She needs to understand the seriousness of the situation.

Overall, I wouldn't ask her to do this again. You can't trust her in your space. End of.

uncomfortablydumb53 · 27/09/2023 13:49

Using your car for driving lessons is outrageous imo
Not insured for a learner and what if she had pranged it!
Actually I think it's an offence TWOC
I'd certainly tell her how out of order that is
The bath bombs etc I wouldn't be upset about but it's an indication of her selfish attitude

BreatheAndFocus · 27/09/2023 13:54

Thinking about this more, I bet her partner drove the car and they just used it for jaunts out because you mentioned he doesn’t have one. They certainly used a lot of petrol for ‘driving lessons’.

vlo · 27/09/2023 14:00

Piss take. I would just pay a cat sitter next time, unless you feel like you want to mention it.

I feel like I might want to say something about borrowing the car, that’s unreal levels of cheek!

WickedSerious · 27/09/2023 14:00

Justhereforthebabynames · 27/09/2023 13:35

Your friend looked after your cat for 3 weeks. I'd just thank her for being ace.

'Ace' is obviously another of those words whose meaning evolved when no one was looking.

Katiesaidthat · 27/09/2023 14:03

Actually, I would be more worried about the car. My car is insured for named drivers and have to be above 25 years old and over two years experience to be on. If someone took my car and had an accident...

Riverlee · 27/09/2023 14:05

Haven’t read the whole thread, but effectively she stole your car!

Riverlee · 27/09/2023 14:06

and then returned it).

How can anyone think that borrowing someone’s car, without insurance or permission is acceptable?!

CasperGutman · 27/09/2023 14:08

I would expect a friend who was house-sitting to treat the house as a responsible owner-occupier would. So, I'd expect them to put the rubbish out. On the flip side, I'd think it reasonable for them to take baths, and invite a couple of friends round.

I wouldn't expect them to use consumable items in the house though, especially not things like bath bombs which you might well have received as presents or been keeping to use as a treat. And I DEFINITELY wouldn't expect them to borrow the car without discussion due to the insurance implications etc. Leaving the fuel tank empty is just the icing on the cake!

MarkWithaC · 27/09/2023 14:09

MargotBamborough · 27/09/2023 12:33

I'd actually be tempted to call her and say you've been mulling all of this over and you've decided that you have no alternative but to report her and her boyfriend's unauthorised use of your car to the police because you have no way of knowing what happened in your car during your absence, whether you might receive a parking fine or a speeding ticket, whether one of them reversed into a parked car and drove off but someone reported the registration number to the police, and if something like that comes to light in a few weeks' time and you try to avoid responsibility on the grounds that you weren't even in the country and the people driving the car were joyriding, you might get into trouble yourself if you didn't proactively report the joyriding to the police.

In fact, it would be entirely legitimate to inform the police precisely for this reason, but either way, if you tell her you're planning to report it to the police for this reason she and her boyfriend will most likely shit themselves.

I wouldn't worry about the friendship. A real friend would never do this. You can never trust her again.

I agree, make sure it's logged with the police just in case, and tell her you've done so. She needs a kick up the arse.

Figgygal · 27/09/2023 14:13

The car thing is a fucking liberty!!
As is throwing a get together
The rest id let go but those two things are pretty bad
Certainly don't let her do it again

Ketty72 · 27/09/2023 14:16

She doesn't sound responsible/mature enough to be left in charge of your house and cat - driving your car uninsured was outrageous.

It doesn't sound like there is much point in saying anything.

I would just find someone else to ask next time. If you do ask her again hide everything you don't want her to use (including your car keys).

AnneElliott · 27/09/2023 14:17

Definitely don't ask her to cat sit again. The car is very cheeky and I also think the bath bombs shouldn't have been used either.

Bloom15 · 27/09/2023 14:21

Coolblur · 27/09/2023 09:28

She is well out of order on all counts. I don't know why people think her having some friends round for a party is fine, it wouldn't be with me, and it clearly isn't with OP and probably wouldn't be ok with any of you either if you weren't asked first. Besides, she didn't think to ask if it was ok.
Everything she has done is disrespectful and rude CF behaviour, you have to tell her how you feel about it. Then never let her cat sit again.

I wouldn't care at all about someone staying in my house for 3 weeks having a get together for friends. It would be a nonissue to me. We're all different though - I'm very laidback.

I wouldn't care about the bath bombs either.

The car is off the scale though

SmileyClare · 27/09/2023 14:31

I think if she’s helping herself to a whole box of bath bombs she’s probably helping herself to your make up, your expensive perfumes and your hair products.

If you need to hide things and leave a list of Rules for a friend visiting your house then they’re not your friend.

MsFrost · 27/09/2023 14:35

RedHelenB · 27/09/2023 06:40

Expecting cat sitting for free is disrespectful, OP can't even spare a few bathbombs for a friend who's doing her a massive favour? Cattery would be at least £300 surely?

Show quote history

The friend is doing it voluntarily because she likes having a bigger house and more space.

She's still in someone else's house and there is a basic respect inherent in not using their posh bath bombs/ car/ whatever else without asking.

londonrach · 27/09/2023 14:37

In case of accident was shd insured....huge no no on this for me. I wouldn't trust her again. Find someone else. Yanbu.

LookItsMeAgain · 27/09/2023 14:49

Actually @Champgal - I'd be pretty pissed off with them for touching anything that they really didn't have to use during their stay.
They would have needed to use the television, the cooker, the fridge and the bathroom, by and large they would be the only things that in my mind, they would have to use during their stay.
Everything else is taking liberties.

You didn't mention to her not to use your car because you never thought she would actually go ahead and use it, but she did.

You clearly have your own reasons for not wanting to bin this person off but I would definitely, beyond a shadow of a doubt, not have her to house sit or to look after your cat ever again. She has burned too many bridges with her antics on this stay.

BardRelic · 27/09/2023 14:54

my friends insists on staying as she enjoys having more space and she also says it will be nicer for the cat to have company. I took her up and agreed.

I bet she insists on staying. Bigger house, no bills and apparently free use of a car. She's taking you for an absolute mug. Nobody is that naive that they think it's fine to drive a car with no insurance and not filling the tank just compounds it all. Never mind losing the friend if you have a word with her about it - why do you want a friend like that?

The get together I wouldn't have an issue with, if her mates were trustworthy. But since she isn't, are they?

Bath bombs - bit cheeky if you hadn't OKed it.

Recycling - lazy and minging.

Using the car - criminal.

If she had a problem with not being paid, she shouldn't have done the pet-sitting. You don't just take payment in kind, especially if it involves breaking the law.

Daffodilsandtuplips · 27/09/2023 15:04

So he didn’t even have a car and of course no insurance, that’s even worse. At least if he had insurance he could possibly have been covered for driving another car that’s wasn’t his own third party cover but only if his policy allowed that.
Ignorance is no defence, they should have checked the legalities of either of them driving before they even opened the car doors.
The driving lessons…nah don’t believe that at all.

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