To think it is actually mostly men?

[Nolpp]

Maybe I didn’t get the memo in the past but in the last year or so I’ve been so bitterly disappointed by make behaviour. I look back and wonder if it was always this way but I’m only just noticing. I think part of it is I recently became a single parent and so I’ve had more dealings with men than I would usually, as I’ve had to speak to insurance companies, take car for MOT etc. Obviously I did some of these things before and I know women also work in these places but overall I am having more interaction with men.

Examples…

Driving. Whenever a car is right up behind me it is ALWAYS a man driving. I drive at the speed limit, not under, so presumably they think speed limits don’t apply to them.

I recently donated to a sponsorship for cancer research, an old school friend, quite literally not spoken in over two decades. He then messaged me to thank me for the donation and followed it up with a question about sex and positions he can do after his surgery. Why would anyone think that’s ok?

A colleague, well respected in his industry, tells me when drunk on a night out that he wishes all women conformed to the way of the 50s and stayed at home. He wasn’t joking.

In Sainsbury’s a week ago, a man grabbed my arse in a queue, I was shocked and stepped to one side, didn’t know what to do and said get the fuck away from me. I was next up for the till and the man behind the till said he does it to everyone !!! What the actual fuck? He did follow up to say they had tried to ban him from the shop. I cried in the car afterwards, it was awful.

Waiting for the baby changing unit in Mc Donnalds. A man eventually emerges, mutters sorry but he couldn’t wait, and looked sheepish. He wasn’t unwell, he was downing a Mc flurry when I came out.

Around 7 years ago I used to date someone who had recently got a job as a Judge in the family courts. He was very young to have got this job and in part it was to do with his father being a judge in the same court. Anyway one day we were talking about how money is worked out in a divorce and he said ‘it’s disgusting, women expect to be paid out after staying at home doing nothing with kids for fifteen years, so rather than getting a job of their own they steal the x husband’s pension.’ I am ashamed to say I laughed and agreed with him. I had a good job with no interest in giving it up so I felt I was compatible with this man who I now see was a bit of a monster.

I honestly feel like men make up the bulk of shit behaviour. It probably sounds dramatic but I actually feel sad about it, genuinely sad. And embarrassed that it’s taken me until this late in life to see it.

Yes, I know it’s not all men.

Rant over.

Blimey

This is a very good post.

Of course. And no woman has to justify her dislike or distrust of men.

If we look at the Sarah Everard case it's resulted in a massive distrust of male coppers. Oddly, the Lucy Letby case hasn't done the same for female nurses and gets largely ignored on here.

Wayne Couzens isn't an isolated case of misogyny within policing. Lucy Letby is in nursing, other than Beverly Allitt. They aren't comparable.

Men are the problem in this world. At every level. In every country.

Yes to this.

There are 100 male officers in the Met alone being investigated for sexual misconduct or offences. Lucy Letby is a once-in-a-generation case. Wayne Couzens and David Carrick are a dime a dozen in every single police force in the country!

We don’t want them to change those men. We want them to tell them when their behaviour is unacceptable and that they are not going to tolerate it.

Stunning.

Are we allowed to apply this to any other... demographics which might be over-represented in such things?

Here are some for you

At my DS primary school we were allowed to take photos a Dad had forgot his phone so I offered to send some him some by email, this was years ago. He then propositioned me in a follow up email. Colleague at work slapped me across the arse, one asked if I liked bondage when we were in photocopying room, another how he liked to see a woman bend over. Always done when zero other people around. Then another got very drunk at a works do and grabbed my thigh plus another asked me out for a drink because his wife was away. Were these knuckle draggers? no they were all academics. apart from the one that slapped my backside they were all married. This was around a decade ago. I complained about the email because I had evidence.

🤣 I made perfect sense. Drop the chip on your shoulder and just stop trying to pick a fight. The thread is about a serious topic and I am really not interested in this nonsense. It is not contributing at all.

Oh God I saw that happen this morning. A woman with a pram asked to swap seats with a young man. He completely ignored her. Another man did give up his seat, though. I was so angry but kept my cool because she kept hers.

Are you really saying women aren't ALLOWED to dislike or distrust men? Are you actually saying that? Do we need permission to feel this way? Whose permission do we need? Men's?

In a perfect world this would be great but how do you propose they did this without more violence happening?

Something makes me think that recently separated men are probably saying this kind of thing about women.

I'm not interested in your nonsense so just ignore me and I'll ignore you.

😂

The men I'm around do that. But it took me a while to find a circle of men who would.

Bad men are overrepresented on social media, because stable, normal, good men are out living their lives. If they're posting on the internet it's generally about guns or football or smoking meat. 😂 It's the bitter, angry ones posting about how nothing is their fault and society is going to hell because women are allowed to have a bank account.

Neither gender has a monopoly on assholes, for sure, but considering that men have been in charge, by themselves, from whenever everything started until about what, 30 years ago, makes me skeptical that everything bad only happens because of women.

Completely agree OP.

Earlier this month there was another female police officer whistle blowing on channel 4 news talking about vile misogyny in the police and how she was effectively bullied out. The level of deep seated hatred of women in that report was shocking. I was hesitant about the police after Wayne cousins but that report sealed it for me. I hope I never need to be in a vulnerable position needing the police.

I doubt there are many women reading this who haven’t experienced sexism or misogyny in multiple ways.

Most men haven’t been held back in life or had to battle against misandry.

Most men don’t physically fear women. They don’t know what it feels like to worry about coming across a man when who could be a physical threat.

I have worked in a male dominated role for 35 years. The sexist bullshit is still there. I would be here all night if I listed even a fraction of the examples. It’s tiresome and disappointing that things are not much better.

Why does it have to be violent?

In my experience men who are violent towards women (as that is what you seem to be talking about) choose their targets carefully. Many of them
hit women but wouldn’t dare hit another man for fear of repercussions.

I was once on a train and a young man came on blaring his music into the carriage almost daring us (women and older people) to ask him to turn it down. Nobody did. Another fairly muscly young man came into the carriage and he turned his music off double quick and styled it out to make it seem as though he’d had enough of it.

Pattern recognition is fine with me (though doubtless you'd call misogyny if a man said he dislikes women), I'm just interested in knowing more about your principles

If I replaced men/women in your comments with blacks/whites, would you still stand by them?

I think most good men would help a woman being mistreated by another man. I know the men I know would. Fortunately it's not something we see day to day and unfortunately abuse goes on behind close doors.

No, because people of one colour aren't responsible for 98% of sex offences or 87% of all violent offences. People of one sex are though.

We see constant issues on here alone about the behaviour of women, eyes, MIL, New partners, mums, 'school mums' something someone did to them 20 years ago

So women are saints?

Where is the evidence that black people are more violent? What is wrong with you?