To think it is actually mostly men?

[Nolpp]

Maybe I didn’t get the memo in the past but in the last year or so I’ve been so bitterly disappointed by make behaviour. I look back and wonder if it was always this way but I’m only just noticing. I think part of it is I recently became a single parent and so I’ve had more dealings with men than I would usually, as I’ve had to speak to insurance companies, take car for MOT etc. Obviously I did some of these things before and I know women also work in these places but overall I am having more interaction with men.

Examples…

Driving. Whenever a car is right up behind me it is ALWAYS a man driving. I drive at the speed limit, not under, so presumably they think speed limits don’t apply to them.

I recently donated to a sponsorship for cancer research, an old school friend, quite literally not spoken in over two decades. He then messaged me to thank me for the donation and followed it up with a question about sex and positions he can do after his surgery. Why would anyone think that’s ok?

A colleague, well respected in his industry, tells me when drunk on a night out that he wishes all women conformed to the way of the 50s and stayed at home. He wasn’t joking.

In Sainsbury’s a week ago, a man grabbed my arse in a queue, I was shocked and stepped to one side, didn’t know what to do and said get the fuck away from me. I was next up for the till and the man behind the till said he does it to everyone !!! What the actual fuck? He did follow up to say they had tried to ban him from the shop. I cried in the car afterwards, it was awful.

Waiting for the baby changing unit in Mc Donnalds. A man eventually emerges, mutters sorry but he couldn’t wait, and looked sheepish. He wasn’t unwell, he was downing a Mc flurry when I came out.

Around 7 years ago I used to date someone who had recently got a job as a Judge in the family courts. He was very young to have got this job and in part it was to do with his father being a judge in the same court. Anyway one day we were talking about how money is worked out in a divorce and he said ‘it’s disgusting, women expect to be paid out after staying at home doing nothing with kids for fifteen years, so rather than getting a job of their own they steal the x husband’s pension.’ I am ashamed to say I laughed and agreed with him. I had a good job with no interest in giving it up so I felt I was compatible with this man who I now see was a bit of a monster.

I honestly feel like men make up the bulk of shit behaviour. It probably sounds dramatic but I actually feel sad about it, genuinely sad. And embarrassed that it’s taken me until this late in life to see it.

Yes, I know it’s not all men.

Rant over.

I agree, those posts are likely not women.

But I do love the phrase "pick me women." All in on that Schlesinger grift of calling women trash while pandering to men, in the hopes that they'll get all the attention. They're the type of women who "can't be friends with women" because of all the "drama." Usually, that "drama" is caused by that woman flirting and making passes at other women's husbands in a desperate bid for constant validation and attention. Exhausting.

Jeez love, get a grip. This really isn’t a jokey thread.

Yes, this, absolutely. It is absurd to suggest that women aren’t doing dangerous jobs because they are somehow not up to facing danger 🙄

Well the good thing about the 50s woman is she has to make do with whatever scraps the man tosses her way, and spend a LOT of time on her knees in gratitude for those pathetic scraps. Men weren't obligated to support her, she had to make do with whatever he believed she'd groveled enough to deserve. That 1950s housewife was lonely, miserable, depressed and usually riddled with the STDs her "wonderful husband" brought home to her.

Also, in the 50s, women who aged or weren't subservient enough could be involuntarily committed by their husbands.

No it's a thread to go on about how awful most men are and putting any woman down who says that they aren't.

I have worked with a lot more awful women than men. It just proved on here how when you disagree with women it turns into a slanging match or putting the other woman down like get a grip love. Nice.

Men are smart enough to know that you can't change another person. It seems to be only women foolish enough to think they can change someone. (I've been guilty of it myself when I was young)

In the same vein...most rapists are men, most paedophiles are men, most murderers are men, the majority of the prison population are men.

I'm really sick of hearing about how only men watch porn. It's absolute bollocks.
I watch porn and I know I'm not the only female who does. And not all porn is about degrading women (and horror some men are basically forced in to it).
Some men are horrible obviously and most aggressive crime is committed by men but I really worry about my DS growing up. There seem to be a lot of double standards but hopefully it's not as bad in RL.

Well and there are physical realities that are a huge part of that. A woman isn't a coward or an idiot because she is too small to lift and carry a 200 lb person down a flight of stairs in a burning house, but the "more men are firefighters" argument is that women are too lazy, stupid, cowardly and entitled to be firefighters. It's unsafe for a 150 lb woman to try to carry someone passed out through a burning building, she simply doesn't have the strength and then TWO people have to be rescued.

"Can't" and "won't" aren't the same. Most women CAN'T do all the things that are required of firefighters. But most men WON'T do things like housework and childcare, because they believe it's "woman's work" and beneath them.

It's like that horrid Jordan Peterson and his bricklayer argument. Yes, true, women generally aren't bricklayers. It's very physically demanding work. Not being able to keep up with a man physically does not mean women should not be allowed to vote, hold office, own property or live independently, but that's the analogy Peterson makes, because we're smaller, we're a lesser, worthless life form that is nothing but a burden to men.

There may be assholes in both sexes, but for millennia only one ever got to talk.

It’s not that women don’t want to do the “dangerous jobs”.

it’s that there is a culture of male behaviour that makes it all but impossible for a woman to succeed in that environment.

I'm doing just fine in construction. I'd say that it actually is that women don't want to do these jobs.

And working in a kitchen is a stressful job for anyone. One of my best mates went back to being a joiner having had enough of tyrant head chefs. Food is his passion but the final straw was having a big knife thrown at him. He said a lot of chefs are cokeheads and having googled it the research seems to agree. Long hours, fast paced, stressful. It's easy to see why some people need a 'boost'.

So many women seem to assume their experience is a gendered thing when actually it's just that the job's shit for everyone. I'm much happier working in a male environment than when I was in an office in a primarily female team. Worst was when I worked for a big solicitor. Sooo many nasty bitchy women putting each other down and bullying the trainees.

Past threads on here show I'm not alone in this....

Statistically women prefer male bosses. They also havea greater preference for this than men do.

Just so we're clear, are you intimating that it's justifiable to dislike/distrust men on the basis that they're over-represented in these statistics?

QED. You are just coming across as very unpleasant now. Sigh.

Couldn’t agree more x

Men are defo more violent but there's also a weird dynamic where it's ok to hate them.

Try saying you hate black people for being more violent or asylum seekers for committing more sex crimes!

Why am I? Explain.

What is QED?

Why have you typed Sigh?

Why are you trying to belittle me?

Makes you wonder then why so many women can't live without one.

Personally I find men less important the older I get; did society change? In some ways I think it did. My profession is female dominated now - wasn't when I started.

The only good test of a man is to say no to what he wants. You tend to find out what they are like then.

Yes, it is very sexist to write off a whole gender because of some bad examples. We women don’t like being reduced to stereotypes, so why are we doing it back? To be sure, there is a difference between punching down and punching up but at some point the punching has to stop because really it’s just punching.

Personally, I find most people I encounter, men and women, pretty nice. But bad things do happen. But writing off men will probably just make them bitter and unhappy and more likely to hate women. That wouldn’t make it women’s fault if a bitter and unhappy man was violent to a woman because violence is illegal and being mean isn’t (not about men, anyway). However, everyone complains about how misogynist men are but this thread seems pretty misandrist to me. Good and evil are a lot less black and white than people think and the best way to rise above hatred and reduce bad behaviour is actually to explore the grey areas and try and understand and empathise with each other, avoiding knee-jerk reactions.

And once you’ve got the idea in your head that men are the root of all evil, you’ll be seeing examples wherever you look. Confirmation bias.

@Meowandthen I'm a woman. I've just looked up QED and you aren't making sense.

@Minglingpringle I agree.

I also think many women are misogynist when other women don't agree with them and try and shush them.

I agree.

If we look at the Sarah Everard case it's resulted in a massive distrust of male coppers. Oddly, the Lucy Letby case hasn't done the same for female nurses and gets largely ignored on here.

You called Love and told me get a grip which I thought was rude.

Some of the stories that came out this year about misogyny in the fire service aren’t going to make that 6% grow any higher - maybe more women would join if they were actually welcomed as equal colleagues.

Women take on dangerous jobs in the police, military, special forces, offshore all the time. Then they have children and because society is still unfair they are expected to give up their dangerous and interesting jobs because “who would look after the kids.”

https://amp.theguardian.com/uk-news/2022/dec/14/london-fire-brigade-put-into-special-measures-over-misogyny-and-racism

Since I joined the gym 16 years ago my opinion of men has plummeted.

I had a wonderful husband and after he died I had another relationship with a widower,took me a few years to realise he was an aresehole.Now happily single and happy.

I dislike men so much now that I feel sorry for any woman married to one lol.