To report my bullying neighbour to the police?

[L3gohouse]

I am considering reporting my neighbour to the police..

I never thought my life was interesting enough to warrant a post on AIBU but things have changed - here we go!

I recently purchased a ground floor flat in a block of 9 flats. We all share a communal garden but only myself and the next door flat have direct access via patio doors.

I have a registered Hearing Dog for the Deaf (I am profoundly deaf). I've had this dog for nearly a year and previously lived in a rented flat with a small balcony. Now that we have a massive garden, my dog is absolutely loving it and enjoys running around and playing in it (fully supervised).

Most of my new neighbours have been fantastic and very understanding of the dog and welcome his cuddles! However, our direct neighbours (who also have direct access to the garden) have been really difficult. It is a male and female living in the flat - the male is ok-ish, but the female is much worse.

It all came to blows the other day where I had my in-laws over for the weekend. I took the dog out in the garden in the morning so he could go to the toilet. I wasn't anywhere near the neighbour's patio doors or windows - more towards the back end of the garden (approx 10m?), and she flung open her window and started shouting at me!!

I then approached the window and asked her what she was saying. She was shouting and saying 'your dog cannot use the garden as a toilet', over and over. She started saying some other things but I couldn't lip-read her well so I asked her to repeat it and she slammed the window and rolled her eyes at me. I took the dog back indoors and, after discussing with my husband and in-laws, I went round to their door and knocked on it. I asked if I could clarify what the problem was with the lady.

The male invited me in and the lady just started ranting at me. She repeated what she was saying earlier and said 'you have LEGS, you can WALK to the road and toilet him there'. I tried to explain that he is a service dog and that we already had confirmation from the building's management company that he can use the garden. She then started to mimic my voice and said 'UnFoRtUnAtLeY He Is a HeArInG dOg" and kept going on and on, raising her voice and becoming angrier and angrier. She kept saying it didn't matter that he was a service dog, he is still a DOG!! and he must go to the toilet in the road??? After about 5 minutes of going around in circles, I said 'I'm going to leave before this escalates' and the male let me out and gave me a quick apology.

I ended up back in my flat absolutely shaking with adrenaline/fear/anxiety. I've decided to only let the dog toilet in a specific part of the garden (gap in bushes directly opposite my door) to reduce his impact on the garden. Once he has done his business, he is free to run around and play. I don't have to do this but I thought it would be a nice gesture and will hopefully reduce the likelihood of being screamed at again...

Since the weekend, she has been banging on windows and waving at myself and my husband to get our attention but we've been ignoring her - I'm starting to get more and more anxious to go out in the garden and it's having an impact on my dog as well.

Would I be unreasonable to report this to the police?

You can definitely smell dogs wee.

I used to deliver leaflets and I could always tell which homes had dogs, by the smell of wee in the garden and I have a dog myself.

OP has already confirmed that there's no children in the block, so if someone is bringing their children to play in gardens that don't belong to them then there's a much bigger issue.

Foxes, birds, cats and lots of other wildlife crap outside; I'd suggest never sitting down outdoors if you're that worried about it.

ADUK is an umbrella company that many charities work under. You’re right there is no register but there should be, there’s far too many people claiming to owner train assistance dogs when in reality they just don’t want to leave them at home.

Many charities who work with ADUK do supply an ID Card, harness, lead and dog tabard.

https://www.assistancedogs.org.uk/organisation/hearing-dogs-for-deaf-people/

Use the garden sure but did they say she could let the dog use it as a toilet? She's just said she let it out in the morning to use the toilet and now makes it go in a certain area. So yes she's letting the dog use the garden as a toilet. Use it by all means but take it elsewhere for the loo surely

Exactly. My girl wees twice on her walk for starters and she definitely isn’t marking territory.

I'm yet to find fox poo in my garden and I put measures in to stop the cats. Dog poo as apposed to bird, squirrel, hedgehog poo etc is particularly stinky and toxic.

And you are being particularly dramatic suggesting I don't sit down any where. I've lived in the country all by life, still means I choose not to knowingly sit where dogs crap. You're being a bit obnoxious really and not in an entertaining way.

Can you put the dog poop in a plastic bag and pick it up after your dog has done its business?

If I was your neighbour I would be okay with this solution

Screaming, verbal abuse, banging on the windows and openly mocking someone's disability is going WAY beyond "rude" and "handling it badly", as some people are describing it on here. It's absolutely vile, inexcusable behaviour.
I would contact the housing association and ask for clarification on the dog-toileting, and at the same time I would 100% report her behaviour.

@L3gohouse you can buy dog toilets for gardens that are easily washed out like this one, having this might appease your neighbour.

So it’s fine for everyone’s dogs to poo and pee all over the parks, pavements etc as long As they don’t do it in their own garden.
Yes that’s what we non dog lovers are expected to put up with. Nice.

There are specific organisations registered under Assistance Dogs UK.

Most shops now have a ADUK sticker on their window which means they accept any dogs registered under the registered organisations under ADUK.

A random person can put a jacket on a dog and say it's a service dog, but it wouldn't be under any of the registered organisations.

@Sunshinenrain It seems like a good compromise so the dog isn’t going toilet over the rest of the shared area, which the rest of the residents would prefer.

But OP doesn’t own it for her private use, the other residents own the garden too she’s doesn’t get to just make a claim over it because she doesn’t want to consider other people when she uses it.

Call me old fashioned, but I think the OPs need for an assistance dog trumps anyone’s dislike of a dog using the garden. Op has explained it all at length, she’s careful to clear up and confine the dog to one area for toiletting ( What would happen if a cat or fox strolled in and shit on the lawn? - neighbour combusts?) I for one am very glad to hear OP has a wonderful service dog so she can live her life.

my friend used a wheelchair to exit her garden flat and her neighbour complained about the ramp. Same principle. OP is disabled, neighbour is a hateful bully.

Yes of course, all his poop is picked up, always! 🤮

Yes... my dog is walked at least twice a day, which I have previously stated...

Sounds like a poorly trained service dog!

Give over. They don't spend their entire time in work mode. All service dogs play and cuddle when they're not on duty!

The management company have already confirmed the dog is allowed to use the garden (including toileting).

She wouldn't be able to do anything with the management company as she does not rent nor own - she is a visitor of the owner - they stay at eachother's place every 2 weeks.

I just can’t stop laughing at all this.

Can I ask all you guys saying that it’s unreasonable for the dog to go for a wee in a shared garden…. Do you guys ever sit on the grass at a park?

ADUK is an umbrella company that many charities work under. You’re right there is no register but there should be, there’s far too many people claiming to owner train assistance dogs when in reality they just don’t want to leave them at home.

Yes, this is the problem.

The world and his dog (pardon the phrase!) can have an assistance dog and there's very little businesses can do about it.

Hold on a minute! This woman is the not the resident of the flat, merely a visitor? The rest of the residents are fine with it and the Landlord has given permission for your dog to use the facility. She’s a CF! Tell her to bugger off back to her OWN place! If it were actual residents complaining that would be different.

@BellaAndDave please tell me this is taking the piss?

Give me strength 😂😂😂

Yes... she used to own one of the flats and now returns to visit the downstairs neighbour every 2-3 weeks for a 2-3 week stay.

Most shops now have a ADUK sticker on their window which means they accept any dogs registered under the registered organisations under ADUK.

Don't they have to accept them anyway because it's not a legal requirement to show proof?

Im not a dog lover but I voted YANBU. You have purchased a property with communal usage of a garden that has given permission for the dog to be in and use the garden as a dog normally would. Whether as other PPs you agree with this or not is irrelevant because that’s what’s been agreed. No amount of dog shit or piss traces on any garden is more disgusting than abusing and mocking a disabled person. THAT is fucking vile beyond the extreme. What a disgusting, nasty individual I would report her to the police ASAP and I certainly wouldn’t be making adjustments. This “woman” isn’t interested in you making adjustments she’s a walking ASBO and I can guarantee if it’s not that it’d be something else. No wonder her partner is apologising for her, hes ashamed and it’s clearly not new behaviour to him. Discriminating and bullying a deaf person is abhorrent and I believe if you behave in such a degradable manner towards another human being your opinions don’t have the right to be heard because you’re scum. Not sure why everyone is skirting over the degree of criminal behaviour by this riff raff but in a full blown rage about a dog doing their business as any other dog would in a garden and I say it again that has been pre sanctioned and PAID for by the OP. Fuck my actual life people. 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️

Please don't listen to most of these people on here they have no idea how it works with a registered assistance dog. I agree with Clever's posts.

I have a registered assistance dog please PM me and I will give you some information on how to handle matters.

I would recommend you talk with the police regarding your neighbour's poor attitudes towards you as a deaf person and her harassment towards you with banging on the window when you are in the garden. Also regarding speaking with you in an intimidating manner. This is a hate crime. Please PM me if you told like to. I understand how distressing this matter will be and how it will affect you going forward.