To ask if you enjoy life?

[Theoriginalmrscillianmurphy]

I'll start by saying that I really don't.
I'm about five mins away from a breakdown and I can't really find anything to enjoy apart from my children.
I'm massively in debt, think about half a million, this includes my mortgage.
I feel like the world is against me, it's not of course, it can't be arsed I'm sure but I feel like I'm walking through quick sand.
Every day I wake up and lie in bed for five mins wondering why I've woken up.

What is the point.

What do you or don't you enjoy about life?

I think it’s pretty difficult to enjoy relaxing things under the cloud of financial pressure. It’s how it is for me anyway, I can’t read or enjoy tv or any of those things very much when I’m stressed. I go into a state of lethargy it’s very debilitating. The only solution for me is to spend time in busy , loud environments like a gym , and run it out to loud music, it’s the only way I get any relief and clarity, and perhaps even a different (more distant) perspective on problems.

You seem really resistant to this idea. Have you ever spoken to anyone about whether you might be depressed? I didn't think I was. Other people talked about being diagnosed as depressed and I'd think 'no, you can't be, I think like that and I'm not depressed'. The penny didn't drop until I actually had a breakdown.

You could have endogenous depression. Feeling life is pointless even since you were small could be part of that, not proof against it.

If seriously consider therapy in that case.

@BardRelic not resistant, I'm just not depressed. People always assume depression when someone says they don't enjoy life. I just can't see the point.

@Oddearslongnose to be honest, I don't really feel financial pressure, it is what it is. If course I'm under pressure sometimes, Christmas etc but I don't really feel it if that makes sense. I'm a get on with it type of person. I can't see the point in Christmas either 😁

@twinmum2022 I've had therapy, enjoyed it but it didn't change my opinion really.

Some people just can't see the point in life, it doesn't mean they're depressed or need counselling.

I honestly think the point of life is to get the most out of your time. What other point could there be?

Ive been through times of hating life and the drudgery. Like a PP, with DH we've overhauled bits of our lives at different times to get more enjoyment on a daily/weekly/monthly basis.

Some examples:
Eating nicer quality food (so rejigging financial priorities).

Making lots of homemade food - hardly buy any industrial biscuits/cakes/bread/ready meals.

Reconnecting with hobbies I loved but had abandoned due to 2 young DC with SN. Rethought the weekend so I could have time to myself.

Go on the type of holidays we enjoy rather than the ones we feel we "should" do.

I stepped off the corporate treadmill where Id never felt comfortable (DH stayed but he's happy).

And the biggest was moving out of a capital city and overseas. Huge change but we are happier and have more time to ourselves and the DC have less school pressure. It's not permanent but a good test to see how we would rather live our lives.

Nope. It's one long slog just to survive. I work full time to pay a mortgage and put food on the table, nothing left for anything else. There's no room for life's little pleasures. I eat, I sleep, I work, I look after my children. My children eat, go to school, eat, sleep. Our lives are all just on a pointless treadmill.

I think lots of people secretly can feel this from time to time. Money worries can be the worst of all.

Some people just can't see the point in life, it doesn't mean they're depressed or need counselling.

Do you want to change that, OP? Do you think it's healthy, or is that just how it is? Logically I don't think there is some grand scheme. I don't believe in any gods. I don't think we're put on earth for some particular reason. I think life is random and governed by chance. But I do get some joy out of it, at points.

@BardRelic it can't be changed as life is just the same shit different day.

I promise I'm not a misery in real life. I'm actually a very happy person. I have a nice life, some parts of it are absolutely brilliant.

It's just waking up and knowing that everything you did yesterday you'll have to do again.

I'm just about to empty the dishwasher, handy a load out and later I'll head out to football which I love.

Tomorrow I'll do the same things I've done today and I'll spend the evening with a beautiful man who treats me very well.

My children are healthy and this is the one thing that I'm very thankful for. I love my children if course and they bring me joy.

No, I don’t. I actually said to my brother the other day that I wasn’t happy and he told me I was ridiculous as I, to others, have a great life. My partner earns well so I have designer clothes, a nanny, a nice apartment in a nice area. But I’m so unhappy! Life feels so pointless. I think this is depression and you sound depressed as well. We think of depression in the clinical sense of someone feeling very sad and not eating/going out etc but I feel depressed in the literal sense. Low, pushed down. I get on with life, I exercise, eat well, go out. But I’m never truly happy. I don’t know what the answer is, I think this is the reality of life and we just have to somehow find the joy in the every day things. I just haven’t learnt how to do that! Hope things get better for you x

I love just being at home with my wife and kids, sitting with a cup of tea.

Being out of the house navigating other relationships and financial matters and work stress not so much.

But you said you were close to a breakdown didn't you?

Also, no.

I have days where I"m happy and contented. But mostly unhappy, based in money worries.
Life is a slog but I have a lot to be thankful for. I try to appreciate the little things. But mostly, I"m stressed and frustrated at what I don't have.
My house is also in need of TLC and I can't afford it.
I'm overweight cos of my f*ck it, life is hard, attitude.

Life doesn't have to have a point in my view. The only thing I care about is enjoying my time here, there doesn't have to be a point in it to make me happy.

No. Hate it. Genuinely believe even my children would only miss me because their dad is a tight fisted idiot and they would not be supported properly if I go. I often think about running the car off the road. Just for a second. I would be easily forgotten. Few people would attend my funeral. My life amounts to sod all.

My DB feels like this. He is well versed in philosophy and subscribes to nihilism. He loves his wife and kids and gets pleasure from certain things but doesn't see the point of life, not in a depressed way, but just in a why do we exist as a species kind of way and thinks a lot about this. Is this what you mean op? I have no answers because I don't agree with him but I but wanted you to know you are not alone.

I think she has catastrophized many of her problems. Odd really.

No.
My husband cheated on me for years and lied about it until I had proof.
I hate myself, my job and my life

I honestly think the point of life is to get the most out of your time. What other point could there be?

That's exactly it. Why do so many people think there must be some huge "point" to being here? We are given a life, it is up to us to make the most of that life - there is no magical "point" to it all.

People these days seem to think life should be one big round of happiness, whereas in previous times people tended to just get on with their lives and make the best of what they had. I see posts on Facebook all the time - what is there for kids to do in this town? I grew up in a town of around 1,000 people, there was very little in the way of organised activities, we made our own fun, we kept busy. People need to be spoon fed entertainment these days, they can't seem to imagine having to entertain yourself. They also seem to spend an inordinate amount of time envying the lives others have. If people just concentrated on their own lives and looked for what they have, rather than what they haven't, and stopped believing the world owes them happiness and fun, maybe they would find life more enjoyable.

I really believe money worries are the worst. Illness and mental health issues can be improved with help from GP, s and medical professionals. Never getting out the bit, working all hours and never having a penny left after pay day is truly like being on a hamster wheel.

@HandlebarLadyTash I'm so sorry that happened to you, it's absolutely shit isn't it.

@Beaverbridge it's just so exhausting isn't it.

Waking up every day to go to work just to give it all away. The cost of living going up and up all the time.

I came home today to a letter that my mortgage is going up again. I bought my first house at 19, this is my third mortgage. Worked my balls off and for what. I'll never pay off this mortgage whilst I'm living here. What was it all for.

We'll all be dead one day and will only be remembered by our grandchildren if we're lucky. After that the grass will grow over our graves.

Life just makes no sense at all. If course we enjoy bits of it as we live it and I've had many happy moments in my life. I'm actually very happy now. Not much gets to me to be honest, even my mortgage. It doesn't get to me because I'll be dead one day and it would've been pointless to worry about it.

I enjoy my life no end but this gave me a warm fuzzy feeling. Such wise words. Every morning when I do yoga I'm going to read this out loud to myself , just as a reminder 🙂🙏

This resonated with me really powerfully.