To ask if you enjoy life?

[Theoriginalmrscillianmurphy]

I'll start by saying that I really don't.
I'm about five mins away from a breakdown and I can't really find anything to enjoy apart from my children.
I'm massively in debt, think about half a million, this includes my mortgage.
I feel like the world is against me, it's not of course, it can't be arsed I'm sure but I feel like I'm walking through quick sand.
Every day I wake up and lie in bed for five mins wondering why I've woken up.

What is the point.

What do you or don't you enjoy about life?

Thanks @lliij8 , I've downloaded that.

I think you do sound like you might be depressed. Feeling like everything is utterly pointless/hopeless and that spinning into you feeling like you are pointless/no use and there being nothing you enjoy is how I would think of depression. It can get gradually (or even suddenly) worse so it’s definitely worth talking to someone about and looking at if there are things you can do to improve how you feel.
I’m not happy all the time but I do generally enjoy my life. I like my job, I have a close family & many friends and I enjoy seeing them and hearing about their day to day life. My kids are, on the whole, pretty lovely even if they occasionally drive me nuts. I enjoy watching them grow up and become more independent. Their enthusiasm and energy is really fantastic. Sometimes you do have to actively look for the good bits in life and sometimes they are abundant but most of the time there are nice things there somewhere.

Your life can be objectively great and you can still be unhappy. Equally your life can be objectively very hard and you can still be content & have moments you enjoy. Some of not enjoying life may be down to attitude and there could be things you could do to change the way you look at situations that help you feel less overwhelmed by stress and more able to focus on the best bits. I feel like I’ve been lucky that life is relatively easy so it’s not a massive challenge to focus on the good bits. I do have friends in similar situations who are never really happy/satisfied though so clearly some people find it hard regardless

Yes I enjoy life. But I suppose it’s easy for me to say. I’m really very lucky. I have my health, other than dodgy knees and a dodgy thyroid, a loving husband, no debt or money worries, a loving husband, a comfortable home, good friends.

I enjoy life or am at least content & grateful (not as much as the 90’s or even 10 years ago - society & people have changed Ime & not for the better).

I don’t have high standards maybe but I’m happy that I’m healthy(🤞) have my DD, dog & nice little house (like, tiny!) in a really lovely & safe area. I have friends to do stuff with and I love my own company.

i always get outdoors & have stuff planned (Halloween, Xmas, trips to the city) but I also love watching a great comedy or documentary on tv (not that I get to do this very often!)

I think as long as my DD & me are healthy, few treats, can get outdoors, see friends & potter through life, I enjoy life!

I hope things improve for you op.

I'm so sorry

I hate being alive and wish I wasn't.

Every night I pray I won't wake the next morning.

Life is absolutely shit.

No I don't enjoy life. I have things to be thankful for and I have two great kids but I'm lonely, suffer from health issues, don't earn quite enough to get by and holding onto my job by the skin of my teeth. I too wonder why I'm here.

Thing is, it IS all pointless 🤷🏻‍♀️ unless you believe in a merit-based afterlife I guess. With the pointlessness comes a freedom.

Ex husband left me with a massive mortgage when I left him ten years ago. He disappeared to England and I couldn't find him for years.

I haven't made any bad financial decisions. The hike in interest rates means my mortgage is no longer sustainable and is now a whopping 2700 a month.

We'll see what happens, at the moment it's not really causing me any stress.

You sound super depressed, have you tried therapy?

Depression isn't always a super overwhelming sad feeling, it can be exactly what you're describing too.

I don't think I'm depressed m, I just can't see the point in the hamster wheel of work, bills. It's just so soul destroying and pointless to me.

One of the first questions my GP asked me when assessing if I was depressed or not was 'do you feel any joy in life?' the answer at that point was no, I don't. Didn't think I was even supposed to. So in some ways, I think the second part of your sentence contradicts the first.

That said, I do think being down and feeling things are bleak can be a natural response to the environment we're in. I do often feel like I'm on a pointless hamster wheel, mainly because I am on a pointless hamster wheel. I need a car to go to work, I need to go to work to pay for the car and sometimes I think, can I not just have less work and no car? Wouldn't that be better? And why am I paying so much rent to stay in a house that someone else inherited, so it's not like they worked for it. And I've worked bloody hard all my life but cannot get on the housing ladder. So why are we stuck in this stupid, capitalist, money-driven system that deliberately keeps people down? I don't think that's depression, I think that's admitting to reality.

That said, I have been depressed. It grumbles away, always there in the background and in your case, I wouldn't rule it out. I do find joy in various things in life. Walking in beautiful countryside, riding horses. laughing at random peculiarities with my partner, who shares a sense of the ridiculous. If I stop finding that joy in some things, then I'm depressed. If life gets me down sometimes, that's because sometimes life is very difficult.

Sorry, “bad financial decision” was harsh.

Are you sure your house value is less than your mortgage? After 10 years(+)?

Hate it. Hate working, find it all so tedious. People are hard work, country has gone to pot. Never been more unhappy.

No I don’t. So much heartbreak and disappointment and unfulfilled dreams/goals over the years, I’ve given up on happiness. Just existing for my DD these days. I’m early 50s and my life didn’t turn out the way I thought so just coasting til the end now.

Crappy things happen to good people, and vice versa.

I know that it is all about perspectives sometimes, but when you're fighting against difficult or unchangeable circumstances, it can be quite hard to see the good in life. I think I've gained a better understanding and appreciation of good health since having a chronic neurological condition, and I truly wished I had been more appreciative of my good health when it was at its peak. I always looked after myself, exercised well, ate well, etc and then shitty, totally unpredictable consequence happened that nobody would have seen coming.

I'm angry that my life has been permanently changed by a doctor's stupid decision to give me a risky and potent drug, yet I do try not to hold onto the anger as it isn't good for my health (ironically!)

Live life to the full no matter what happens. 💖

For me it's the drudge. Endless drudge.

No. My life at the minute is shit and I don't know how to change it. That is all.

What kind of overhaul? I hope you don't mind me asking. I feel the same as OP and feel so hopeless

You’re very honest op. Is this a phase ? How long have you felt this way? Is it worth talking to GP ?
I’m naturally quite chirpy. I don’t really consider happiness as it is fleeting. I value contentment more. I’m lucky to have been loved as a child, met a gorgeous man that I’m still married to 27 years later and have 2 now adult , successful DC. We both work, have repaid the mortgage, have a few nice holidays/ breaks. That may not be enough for some but is for us. We have both lost family too young and appreciate the small things.
I hope you can value your role in your children’s life as that is the single most important thing you can do as a parent.

Difficult one, I love my family, home, city to bits. Thankfully we are ok financially. But… I don’t like the way the world has gone. My progressive disability is also hard to cope with too. So I won’t be sad to leave this world when the time comes.

Are you sure you're 'naturally' chirpy? Feel like everyone would be chirpy if they'd had a life as nice as you've said in your post!

Listen there isn't really any point, so you have to invent one for yourself.

1. To experience as much beauty as you can while you're alive, nature music, art, people etc.
2. To make other people's or other animal's lives better in some way. Charity work. Service to others.
3. To create something with skill to leave behind, writing, music, art, buildings, something.
4. To solve a problem that will improve lives/the world in some.way.

3 and 4 require some talent and or drive but start with 1 and 2.

I am poor as anything but I don't have a stressful job, I live with people I love somewhere beautiful and I try to take notice of small things. I'm happier than a lot of people.
I don't really have a point. I have a list of a few things I want to achieve before I die.

@Whattodowithit88 I agree with you

Currently, my life is easy and comfortable. It hasn't always been. And won't be for ever

When life is good, appreciate it

When it's hard, hunker down, take one day at a time and remember that it won't always hurt so much

@twinmum2022 nope, not depressed. Since I was small I can remember thinking what's the point.