Neighbours Indiana Jones-ing their way into our garden

[Dadfromthesea]

This is making me seethe and chuckle in equal measure.

At the end of our garden are some big old fir trees, then the boundary fence. After that there’s a little stream, and if you kept going you’d find the fence of the people who live in the house behind (let’s call them Mr and Mrs Jones), then their back garden.

The Joneseseses have just bought a big seating unit thing and plonked it at the back end of their garden (the bit nearest us). It’s about 10ft from my boundary fence and a good 70ft from the back of my house - we’re lucky to have a big garden - and there’s the fir trees as well which make it a pretty thick barrier.

But they decided they want some privacy and put up a big canvass barrier. Fair enough, I don’t care.

Except…

They’ve tied it to our fir trees!

They’ve clambered over their own fence, slung a ladder (an actual LADDER) over the stream, scrambled up the bank, and cable tied the bloody thing to our trees! Without so much as a word!

They did it in the dead of night! Came down the other day to discover the bloody Shroud of Turin cable tied to my trees! The ladder was still there on the bank of the stream.

So obviously, being British and terrified of confrontation, I did the natural thing of not mentioning it to them but instead cutting the fucker down. It’s now in my garage.

And they’ve replaced it with another!! It arrived overnight this morning!

Just to be clear - I don’t care that they want to shield themselves from us. It’s a dark green thing so I can barely even see it. But I can see it, and I do care that they’ve gone on a bloody Navy SEAL Commando mission, twice, to my garden to put the bloody thing up!

Yes I could go and talk to them but a) I’ve never said a word to them before b) they might kill me and c) this is funnier.

But tell me I ANBU please.

This type of thing

https://www.sciencephoto.com/media/1058467/view/child-s-drawing-of-a-house

Are you sure there is not public access to the banks of streams and water ways?

What with this thread title and the one about the sixteen-year-old dressing as Indiana Jones complete with leather bag on a daily basis for sixth form college, I’m beginning to think that someone has challenged posters to sneak in Indiana Jones references to random Mn threads. Like the old Oxford tutorial game where you challenged your tutorial partner to include unlikely words (cellulite, come-hither, mobile phone) in an essay on Shakespeare.

Just here for the updates!

Finally found the diagram!!!? Just sat and scrolled through god knows how many comments!!!! 😂😂😂😂 please please please keep us updated...... this has been the funniest post I've ever seen on mumsnet. Thank you for the laughs x

There may well be but it sounds like the NDN has gone over the fence onto the OPs land to tie it to the OPs trees.

I must be missing something, but can you hazard a guess as the purpose of the sheet? Is the view from the new seating area not just a fence, above which are the branches of some trees, but instead what they are trying to achieve is a fence, above which is a sheet? Why do they want to look at a sheet?

It's for projecting sex films.

I love your style of writing and this thread is very funny but what absolute CFers your neighbours are!!!
So have they blocked your view of the stream now?

Only read as far as this so far, but just chipping in to say well done for inserting the lyrics to one of the best songs ever into you post. My cap is dothed to you.

Even if there is, the sheets have been attached to the OPs trees which are on his side of his fence.

Gah, wrong thread. Still, the point stands! 😂

Or go to the neighbours with the light and ask them to redirect it?
When we put some up we told the neighbours to come tell us if it was annoyingly bright, on too long, blinding them. And they did, and we moved them and altered sensors and timings.
No trespassing involved.
As for OP, I like all the ideas so far, can you try em all. Ta.

Put up a trespassers will be shot sign and then enlist the brownies to keep guard (camping overnight) with water pistols at the ready... If you have access to brownies, you may as well put them to work.

Are you single? I think I want to marry you.

@Dadfromthesea

I've just discovered this thread. Your humour hooked me in and as for the current cliff hanger...we must know more!

I hope you're also an author. Would happily read a tale or two from you.

Time for beddy byes?
You don't seem to be able to cope with being here so why not sod off...

Oooh a troll hunter too. Someone who doesn't know they should report suspected trolls to MN instead of filling up the thread with silly comments.

The other, sadly deleted thread was awesome too...

@ArabeIIaScott oh my

They're sex people, Lynn.

Sweet infant Christ, they’ve replaced it.

Down at the bottom of the garden, among the birds and the bees, a little lot of little people, and SOME KIND OF PLASTIC WIND SHIELD THING!

I have taken some photos, because I know that this is unbelievable to anyone who doesn’t think that 9/11 was an inside job.

I am verging on genuine admiration for their truly outstanding cheek. Honestly, I’ve only ever seen this level of clownery in two places - the circus and the current Cabinet. It’s only the fact that their project has actually successfully been delivered that makes me certain the government aren’t involved.

The photos don’t really do the situation justice though. And bear in mind that although you can see their seating thing quite clearly, I am deep inside my own fir trees at this point. It’s basically invisible to us from our garden. The wire fence you can see is also not the real fence. That’s the other side of their new Berlin Wall.

I was really hoping that this morning’s detective mission would end with me finding no Shroud III (and thus me being able to call myself a no sheet Sherlock), but fuck a duck there was this!

This is alarming in basically all of the ways.

They must have had it pre-prepared. It’s only 14 hours since I cut down the sheet. They must have come out in the rain to do it as well, since it’s been fairly apocalyptic since i cut down their last effort.

They’ve upgraded now. Previously it was just a glorified bed sheet, but this bad boy has got substance.

There are poles! POLES!

Luckily they seem to have run out of cable ties, and have used some bright green string to tie this between the trees.

I mean, in all honesty, what on actual Earth is going on? When they bought their house did they think that they’d also bought mine?

WAR! now you have to tell us where it is! we shall descend armed with robotic spiders, body bags, and concrete reapers!

So, just to be crystal clear, the current monstrosity is still attached to YOUR trees?