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Original poster

Re friend bringing dog everywhere

370 replies

Toomanythalias · 25/09/2023 13:41

My friend got a dog a couple of years ago and now insists on bringing him everywhere. If we want to go for a coffee we have to go to a dog friendly cafe. If we want to go for a meal we have to go to a dog friendly restaurant. If she calls over to any of our houses she assumes it's ok to bring the dog. We probably should have said something before now as it's been really irritating us.
Anyhow, we're going away early next year for a few days to celebrate a couple of big birthdays in the group. We were planning to spend a weekend in a hotel somewhere like the Cotswolds, and just enjoy a couple of days relaxing, chatting, eating nice meals etc. However this friend is just assuming she can bring her dog, and is sending lists of dog friendly hotels for us to check out. We told her yesterday that we don't want the dog to come and we don't want to stay in a dog friendly hotel and she needs to sort out care for the dog while she's away. She is now in a huff, says she doesn't want to come, she's obviously not wanted ..... I'm torn between feeling bad and feeling exasperated with her attitude.
Were we being unreasonable to have put our foot down?

OP posts:
Hersecretserviceyourmaj · 26/09/2023 10:42

Womencanlift · 26/09/2023 09:24

Every day there are “bashing” threads on various topics on here, kids, partners, MILs, neighbours etc. It is kind of the point of a discussion forum. There are plenty of non bashing dog threads too (albeit not so much in AIBU, maybe take a guess why that is)

Why are dogs not allowed to be discussed?

Show quote history

Dogs are 'discussed' more often than anything else. Aside from dog attacks, the issues are either bitchy or trivial. Always a way to shoehorn dogs into a drama llama thread.

SlothMama · 26/09/2023 10:42

Charlize43 · 25/09/2023 14:20

Does she have one of those XL Bully dogs? Is there anyway you could report her? Report her anyway.

Report her for what? Being too attached to her dog? You can't report XL bullies anyway, they aren't banned yet...

Anothagoatthis · 26/09/2023 10:44

There’s definitely more discussion on partners, MIL, CF etc than dogs. No question about that.

And arguably this isn’t really a thread complaining about dogs, it’s more a thread about entitled and clueless friends. Many of the people in agreement with the OP like or have dogs.

EandKDJ · 26/09/2023 10:46

YANBU, I have a dog and do leave him at home for a few hours if I go out for a meal etc however if we do go on a break away I do take him with me as he wouldn't do well in a kennel.

I wouldn't have a problem if my friends didn't want to come on the trip if I had the dog with me, likewise I wouldn't go in a huff if my friends went to a non dog friendly place which meant I had to miss out. It's just part and parcel of being a dog owner.

I acknowledge some people aren't dog lovers and that's fine, but I also don't understand the moaners who choose to go to a dog friendly cafe or eatery then complain that there's dogs there... there are other places that aren't dog friendly that they could go to.

Anothagoatthis · 26/09/2023 10:47

Veganator · 26/09/2023 09:28

Definitely not BU. I avoid all hotels that proclaim they welcome dogs. Just because she has chosen to have low hygiene standards, doesn't mean you all have to shack up in a dog-filthy hotel.
The sooner dog-people realise how anti-social they are being, the better. Soon they will be seen by the majority in the same way we now view smokers.

I do this too and I’m thinking of leaving reviews which say something like “I’m so glad this hotel didn’t accept dogs ”, the way people go on about how nice a dog friendly venue was.

It’s important for managers to know that there’s many consumers out there (including dog owners) who avoid dog friendly venues just as there are consumers who seek out dog friendly people.

If the only ones who speak up are the ones who want dogs everywhere businesses will get the wrong idea.

Hersecretserviceyourmaj · 26/09/2023 10:51

Veganator · 26/09/2023 09:28

Definitely not BU. I avoid all hotels that proclaim they welcome dogs. Just because she has chosen to have low hygiene standards, doesn't mean you all have to shack up in a dog-filthy hotel.
The sooner dog-people realise how anti-social they are being, the better. Soon they will be seen by the majority in the same way we now view smokers.

What a snob you are, ignorant to boot. Just because a hotel welcomes dogs, doesn't mean its filthy. As for anti social, in the contrary, dog friendly businesses are the smart ones. Likening it to smoking 😂

Barnowlsandbluebells · 26/09/2023 10:53

As for anti social, in the contrary, dog friendly businesses are the smart ones

Interesting comment - many business owners I know have seen a significantly increased revenue after choosing to advertise as being 'dog friendly'.

Anothagoatthis · 26/09/2023 10:53

“I acknowledge some people aren't dog lovers and that's fine, but I also don't understand the moaners who choose to go to a dog friendly cafe or eatery then complain that there's dogs there... there are other places that aren't dog friendly that they could go to.”

i think the issue is sometimes they don’t realise until a dog is there. Until recently you didn’t get dogs everywhere so people are still getting used to asking if there are dogs allowed first.

I went to a b&b once on a work trip that online said no dogs allowed. I assumed it would be dog free and this was partly why I booked it, but to my absolute surprise the owners had dogs!

I walked in and they ran barking at me. I had to get the owner to call them off and keep them away from me the whole time I was
there. I was really annoyed. they should have made clear on their website that while other dogs weren’t allowed they had their own dogs on the premises.

I feel every restaurant /cafe/ shop which is dog friendly should have some kind of sign or symbol in the door that indicates they’re dog friendly. It would make it easier for everyone.

Hersecretserviceyourmaj · 26/09/2023 10:55

Owners' dogs running and barking at customers and bothering them throughout the service.

The drama and histrionics heighten..

Anothagoatthis · 26/09/2023 10:56

Silverburn shopping centre in Glasgow ran a dog friendly trial. They assumed everyone would be on board but they had a lot of pushback on social media.

A few months later the dog trial ended, revenue hadnt increased and there were many complaints of dog poo especially in the food court etc.

I think business do advertise as dog friendly to increase customers and often it works most likely but not always.

JohnnyYenSetHimselfOnFireAgain · 26/09/2023 10:57

I love dogs as much as anything else but your friend is being very unreasonable. I don't take mine everywhere with me and certainly not out when socialising with friends. You've no need to feel bad because you're definitely not being unreasonable.

Anothagoatthis · 26/09/2023 10:57

Hersecretserviceyourmaj · 26/09/2023 10:55

Owners' dogs running and barking at customers and bothering them throughout the service.

The drama and histrionics heighten..

If that was aimed at me… I just stated what happened and said I was surprised and annoyed . How is it histrionics? Nonsense 😂

PrinceElan · 26/09/2023 10:57

I agree that would be extremely annoying. But there was a huge warning sign - anyone who pushes a dog around in a stroller is a bit 'special.' So beware when you see something like that approaching. Of course dogs do get old and sometimes find it difficult to walk. This then presents the perfect opportunity to leave the dog at home where it probably won't bark or generally annoy anybody.

Hersecretserviceyourmaj · 26/09/2023 10:58

Ah, I wondered when we would get to the dog poo. Seen everywhere and anywhere and never cleaned up by owners.

Hersecretserviceyourmaj · 26/09/2023 10:58

Anothagoatthis · 26/09/2023 10:57

If that was aimed at me… I just stated what happened and said I was surprised and annoyed . How is it histrionics? Nonsense 😂

Show quote history

You're not alone in the exaggerating department.

Anothagoatthis · 26/09/2023 11:00

Hersecretserviceyourmaj · 26/09/2023 10:58

Ah, I wondered when we would get to the dog poo. Seen everywhere and anywhere and never cleaned up by owners.

It was one of the reason for the dog trial ending. Many customers wrote about it on the Facebook page.

its unfortunate you seem to be in denial but these things do happens and pretending everyone is making it up doesn’t make it untrue. 😆

Louchelizard · 26/09/2023 11:01

John Lewis’ dog friendly policy mystifies me. Why would your dog want to go to a John Lewis?

Anothagoatthis · 26/09/2023 11:02

Hersecretserviceyourmaj · 26/09/2023 10:58

You're not alone in the exaggerating department.

Show quote history

I’m exaggerating the owners dog ran at me and I was annoyed? 😂

You have a really poor imagination if you think the idea of a dog running at someone entering their home is an “exaggeration” or hysterics.

If I wanted to exaggerate surely I’d have said something a bit more dramatic like it took a bite at me or something 😂

Hersecretserviceyourmaj · 26/09/2023 11:03

Anothagoatthis · 26/09/2023 11:00

It was one of the reason for the dog trial ending. Many customers wrote about it on the Facebook page.

its unfortunate you seem to be in denial but these things do happens and pretending everyone is making it up doesn’t make it untrue. 😆

Show quote history

Dog friendly trials are in the minority. I hardly think one FB page is representative of general feeling. Businesses are either dog friendly or they are not. Only on MN, do we get to hear that businesses change their stance as dictated by the public.

sunglassesonthetable · 26/09/2023 11:04

I agree that would be extremely annoying. But there was a huge warning sign - anyone who pushes a dog around in a stroller is a bit 'special.' So beware when you see something like that approaching. Of course dogs do get old and sometimes find it difficult to walk. This then presents the perfect opportunity to leave the dog at home where it probably won't bark or generally annoy anybody.

Hmm, haven't read the thread , but this is really mean and stereotyping.

But I expect you know that really. @PrinceElan

EandKDJ · 26/09/2023 11:04

Anothagoatthis · 26/09/2023 10:53

“I acknowledge some people aren't dog lovers and that's fine, but I also don't understand the moaners who choose to go to a dog friendly cafe or eatery then complain that there's dogs there... there are other places that aren't dog friendly that they could go to.”

i think the issue is sometimes they don’t realise until a dog is there. Until recently you didn’t get dogs everywhere so people are still getting used to asking if there are dogs allowed first.

I went to a b&b once on a work trip that online said no dogs allowed. I assumed it would be dog free and this was partly why I booked it, but to my absolute surprise the owners had dogs!

I walked in and they ran barking at me. I had to get the owner to call them off and keep them away from me the whole time I was
there. I was really annoyed. they should have made clear on their website that while other dogs weren’t allowed they had their own dogs on the premises.

I feel every restaurant /cafe/ shop which is dog friendly should have some kind of sign or symbol in the door that indicates they’re dog friendly. It would make it easier for everyone.

I still stand by what I said originally, but think you had every right to be annoyed in that situation. I think, as you say establishments should clearly advertise whether they are dog friendly or not.

If however a place is clearly advertised as dog friendly, then I still feel that people shouldn't moan if there are dogs there. They should go to eat in a place that is dog free.

We go on lots of walks with our dog and find it very convenient when there is a dog friendly pub we can go into afterwards for a drink or something to eat. I wouldn't go to a dog free place to eat and moan that my dog should be allowed in, that's ridiculous, I would do my research and find a place that lets my dog in. Problem solved.

KimberleyClark · 26/09/2023 11:05

Louchelizard · 26/09/2023 11:01

John Lewis’ dog friendly policy mystifies me. Why would your dog want to go to a John Lewis?

They have a pet section.

sunglassesonthetable · 26/09/2023 11:06

John Lewis’ dog friendly policy mystifies me. Why would your dog want to go to a John Lewis?

( ok not referring to service dogs ) It's a hard agree.

My dog wants grass, beaches or cushions not browsing the perfumes and grabbing brunch.

Redpaisley · 26/09/2023 11:12

TiredMamOfTwo · 25/09/2023 13:42

No YANBU. It's a dog not a child.

Bringing child to a childfree vacation with friends is also annoying for those friends.

Best is not join the events if you can't go following the expectations of those inviting you.