To think I’d be able to work with a newborn?

[Pipiscoming2023]

I think I’m probably going to get shot down here but hoping someone who’s experienced in this can help.

I’m self-employed and due to have a baby at the end of November/beginning of December. Luckily, December is a very quiet time for me and so taking that time off isn’t a huge issue. However, I’d likely need to return to doing some work from mid Jan - so around 6 weeks off work in total.

This isn’t for financial reasons as such as we have some savings to cover us for maternity, but more due to the nature of my work that I wouldn’t be able to let my clients down during a really busy period. I’d likely lose a lot of clients and struggle to rebuild if I took too much time off. I love my job and my clients too! I did look at getting some kind of admin support to cover but I’d still need to work some hours in the business myself each week.

And no we didn’t plan the timings very well, I know, but conception was difficult for us. Would I be able to do at least a couple of hours work a day while baby naps etc? DH is a very hands on, helpful partner and is supportive of my choices whatever they may be. He works full time and will be returning to work mid Jan as he’s taking holiday/Christmas/paternity combined.

Any advice from someone who’s done it? Or am I just totally mad to consider it?

YABU - you won’t be able to work with a baby (if not, please tell me when you think it would be realistic to go back to work)

YANBU - you’d have some time to work each week

I think it can be done. American mom's seem to be able to cope with 6 wks off for mat leave. Just make sure you have support in place. The first 6-9wks are the hardest but as baby gains weight sleeps a bit more predictably, I don't see why it can't be done. It won't be easy

One of my DC didn't sleep longer than 20 minutes in one go laid down for the first few months. He could sleep in someone's arms but that's it.

My other one would sleep for hours, wake for a feed and nappy change then sleep for hours again.

It really depends on your baby.

Depends on the baby and how you're feeling. I could probably have fitted in a couple of hours a day but in bursts and not very predictably which limits what you can get done. Some babies will happily sleep in a cot, others will want to be carried around and never put down, which might be difficult unless someone else does that whilst you work!

I have a friend who returned to full time work at six weeks (no choice as she had the mortgage to pay and only SMP) but she used a nursery. So that might be an option?

Everyone saying it depends on the baby are right, but more so it depends on you, becoming a parent is a complete shift of identity which I wasn't prepared for, the potential mental and physical health impact will all play a role. Accepting/ employing as much help as possible is good advice.

I had a really high needs baby that in retrospect we now know had ASD. From about 12 weeks on I was able to do the occasional 10 hour work week. I often had to work while holding the baby because she wouldn’t sleep except while touching me. I also did most of my work in the evening and on weekends. it was really, really, hard some weeks, but it let me keep up my contacts so I am happy that DH and I made the effort.

If your DH isn’t self-employed, why don’t you go back full-time and he take shared parental leave for six months? You’d have to bottle-feed obviously, but you could then put your baby in FT nursery from six months. Six weeks is really too young for nursery in the UK, most nurseries aren’t set up for such a young baby.

Wouldn’t be my first choice, but I had the benefit of good maternity leave, and if you are self employed and can’t afford to shutter your business for a year, it might make more sense.

I think it depends what sort of baby you get. If you get one who will happily nap in a Moses basket or cot and likes their sleep then yes it’s possible with a newborn. You light not get one like that though. I’d also say it will get harder as they get older so you will likely need nursery or childminder if you’re going to work when they’re a few months old and out of the sleepy new born stage.

I couldn't of from a physical and mental side

Like a few other posters have said, it really depends on your baby once it’s born. You won’t know how well they feed and sleep until they are born.

For me, my little one slept like a dream at night time but was a nightmare all day so I was completely wiped out. I thought I could keep up my business at the same time but life with a newborn and adapting to be a mum was far more time consuming than I thought. It also didn’t help that my bottle fed baby would not take a bottle from anyone else meaning it all relied on
me.

Do you have any support to help be there for you and the baby? Who would care for the baby when you’re working? Are you planning on breastfeeding?

I think overall it depends how the baby is, what support you have and the nature of your job.

Absolutely impossible for me, I felt like a total zombie for months after my daughter was born. But she cried for hours at a time and nearly broke me. My son was much easier but still didn't sleep, so I was just exhausted.

However, I'd say I could have worked a few hours here and there if:

• I'd had a regular cleaner -ie twice a week at least
• my husband had got up with the baby every morning to allow me to sleep eg 5-8am
• I had a home help or nanny to have that baby while I worked.

I guess it depends how much you earn whether these things are doable. But maybe see it as an investment in the business

If you have childcare it is definitely possible. You could pay a nanny to come for a few hours a day.
If I had to do this then I would bottle feed for the majority of the time so that nights could be shared with your DH.

You need childcare.

Depends on the baby. With my eldest he didn't sleep except on me. I was in a perpetual state of sleep deprivation for the first 18 months of his life. I was unable to work even when I went back at 10 months ( got quite severe depression)
My second is 10 months sleeps like a dream and always has. Is happy in his cot. Can get loads done

My 2nd and 3rd I definitely could have. I actually wrote my dissertation whilst my 3rd was in his first few weeks. However my 1st and fourth..not a chance. Crying velcro babies! 4th was the worst, I could never put him down, no reflux or anything like that, he just had to be permanently on me either carries or in a sling.
All depends on the baby and that is unpredictable until they're here.

You don’t know until you have your baby. My baby didn’t nap for more than 20 mins until she was 9 months. The only way I could get her to sleep longer was in the car driving or walking in the pram. So I barely had time to go the toilet never mind work!

It also depends on the work itself - my project work that I mentioned involves mostly reading things on screen and telephone or zoom meetings but internal ones. A bit of typing but not loads, just short technical reports, that sort of thing. So when dd was a newborn I literally had her in my lap napping or breastfeeding while I worked.

If your job involves large amounts of typing/writing, client calls and/or client meetings, I'd say it'll be less easy as you can't breastfeed at the same time.

really depends. i completed a law degree with my first baby sleeping on me half the time - second baby was very collicy and screamed and writhed around a lot, don’t think it would have been so easy with her

I did this (having been told it was nigh-on impossible on here beforehand). 2-3 hours per day with manageable deadlines. DD only dropped her nap at 4 (years!) so I carried on working throughout.

Mine was exactly like @FloralDance . There is absolutely no way I could have done anything a client would have paid for at 6 weeks! If you need to maintain your business - why is your DH not taking pat leave and you going back to work?

Yes, it really depends on the nature of your business.

A friend of mine got her MA during the Mat leave. No idea how but she did. So it must be possible.

Great idea 💡

It very much depend on the baby, if you are not sleep deprived too much and can think straight during/after the "crying curve"(starting from weeks 2-3), then it's sort of doable but I personally wouldn't commit to anything at this point.
Not a chance I could have done any work with my little one at that stage, my head was all over the place. Good luck!

I think it's doable on a part time and flexible basis (so as and when you can rather than fixed hours) when they are tiny, but the older they get the harder it'll be.

I did it for a while with my (second) 6mo. I could get about 4 hours done during the day in naps and then a few hours in the evening. I probably could have managed 5-6hrs with a newborn. But I was still awake every hour at night until 18m and it was exhausting. By 11m I was only managing about 2 hours during the day and then COVID hit. It would have been even less hours once she reached toddlerhood.

More importantly though, you only get one first baby. Its like, you can take work on your honeymoon, frankly you could probably fit an hour or two in on your wedding day if really needed, but those are special times. Irreplaceable times.

If you really NEED to, then do it, but it's not Ideal. I'm self employed and I did some with with my first from a month old (husband took SPL until 6m), but it was only a day a week in order to keep clients knowing I still existed. Making sure you have time to be a family and learn how to be a parent and sit and cuddle your baby is so important.

Are you an accountant?