To think I’d be able to work with a newborn?

[Pipiscoming2023]

I think I’m probably going to get shot down here but hoping someone who’s experienced in this can help.

I’m self-employed and due to have a baby at the end of November/beginning of December. Luckily, December is a very quiet time for me and so taking that time off isn’t a huge issue. However, I’d likely need to return to doing some work from mid Jan - so around 6 weeks off work in total.

This isn’t for financial reasons as such as we have some savings to cover us for maternity, but more due to the nature of my work that I wouldn’t be able to let my clients down during a really busy period. I’d likely lose a lot of clients and struggle to rebuild if I took too much time off. I love my job and my clients too! I did look at getting some kind of admin support to cover but I’d still need to work some hours in the business myself each week.

And no we didn’t plan the timings very well, I know, but conception was difficult for us. Would I be able to do at least a couple of hours work a day while baby naps etc? DH is a very hands on, helpful partner and is supportive of my choices whatever they may be. He works full time and will be returning to work mid Jan as he’s taking holiday/Christmas/paternity combined.

Any advice from someone who’s done it? Or am I just totally mad to consider it?

YABU - you won’t be able to work with a baby (if not, please tell me when you think it would be realistic to go back to work)

YANBU - you’d have some time to work each week

Of course you can! It’ll be when the baby gets a bit older and moving around it’ll be more difficult and you might need someone else to look after the baby. Newborns don’t move. Good luck with birth and everything x

It depends what type of work you do and how flexible it really is. Unless you are unlucky and have a a baby with horrible health issues, yes newborns sleep a lot. It is not unreasonable to think you will be able to get some work done while it sleeps, but it will be bitty, unpredictable and have to fit in around the other things you need to do like washing, cooking, cleaning, feeding etc. If you have other people who can really help with a good chunk of those things on a regular basis, and you have baby who is quite content then it could work. I think also it depends on how many hours work is over what time. If you have longish deadlines and can cram work in on the "good" baby days or when someone else can have the baby for a few hours, and then NOT work on days you are on your own, or when baby is colicky or poorly or clingy, you might be fine. If to, make work happen you have to do X number of hours everyday, or at particular times when clients are free, then you'll need maybe the first 6 months off for definite!

It will all depend really on how well your baby sleeps, if you are lucky and have one that sleeps well overnight like 6hrs at a time from an early age, and naps well then you will be able to fit an hour in here or there. If however it is like mine and up every few hours till at least 4 months then you will prob be sleep deprived and need to nap when they nap to recharge or use the time for washing etc, as great as intentions may be to do this while baby is awake, it is hard word to do that in practice and you obviously won't know how your baby will sleep till they arrive.

You’re talking about sustainability of your business and thus ability to support your child over the longer term - that is completely reasonable. Don’t underestimate it though. You don’t say what the nature of your work is - how taxing, whether you need to be available/in meetings at specific times, tend to have short deadlines etc. which all makes a difference. Sleep deprivation and baby brain together have a huge impact, and you shouldn’t assume you’ll be able to perform at your peak in those couple of hours a day. I found my brain was working several times slower than it used to when I went back to work at 6mo - although getting back to work helped clear some of the fog. Talk honestly to your clients too, many will be more understanding than you imagine. Lots of luck to you.

If you're self employed and your partner is employed, could he not take parental leave and be paid the maternity pay you would have got if you were employed? It'll give him up to 9 months paid? Although not ideal if he's the breadwinner but at least a couple of months if you have savings to help you through the trickiest times of sleep deprivation and recovery.

You'll struggle without having someone around to help and hold baby. Babies don't always nap as planned.... in fact rarely. At 6 weeks you won't be in much of a routine, particularly if breastfeeding. The baby may want to be held for naps and may not be put down... some do, you just don't know what kind if baby you'll get. If you do get any spare minutes you may want to use them to sleep/shower. Xx

Seriously... how?!

If you have to you have to. You can't afford to throw away your business make it doable.

I worked part time (self employed) from 5 weeks. Not a problem. Did have to get DD into a good routine, however.

It can depend on the temperament and sleep patterns of the baby. It would have been easier with my eldest but impossible with the younger.

I managed to do this but DD was BF and I had a lot of flexibility.

I actually found that in the first 1-4 months I had loads of whatever the hormone is that you get after birth that makes it all doable on fuck all sleep. It was possible to read/think/do short emails on laptop while DD was sleeping and feeding and I got a remarkable amount done looking back.

Once my baby was doing much more than feeding and sleeping it all became much harder - but I still managed to do quite a lot in between naps.

DD was a very easy baby though so the only issues were lack of sleep because of breastfeeding. OTOH if I hadn't been BF-ing I wouldn't have had all that time while she was feeding and then sleeping it off.

So I'd say you won't really know till s/he's here and BF is established.

As PPs have said it really depends on the baby and on you. Be careful not to push yourself and be mindful of your own MH.
I was able to wfh in my own business when my DD was a baby but luckily I had international clients in different time zones so DH would get home from work, take over baby, and I'd schedule Zoom meetings for then.
If you're asking if you can work around baby sleeping then tbh it's very difficult. You'd be better seeing if your DP can reschedule his work to give you some time or have childcare for a few hours. Good luck!

So much this. If you get the placid type of baby who sleeps a lot (and on a regular schedule), you will probably be fine.

If you get a baby that cries constantly and can’t be put down, no way will it work.

This would have been realistic for me, especially if the work could have been done whilst lying under a napping and/or breastfeeding baby. I managed to get a lot of life admin done during these times on a phone. My baby was born in lockdown though and my mum stayed for six weeks to take care of the meals, house, laundry, etc.

There’s also always the option to get a maternity nurse.

Depends on the baby, my first, no chance! The second maybe if she came first as having 2 together, no chance. Depends if you can work when you have the time to as apose to wether you need to be available at certain times. If it is the latter I think you may struggle to juggle. You may be too exhausted though when you do have time. I think it is a take it as it comes kinda situation 🤔 also a big factor is the support aspect. Good luck and congratulations 🎊

If it’s actually admin type of work and you can dip in and out to suit your baby, I would think this would be manageable.
I run my own company and now work from home.
When my daughter was born I managed to do more admin work (few hours across the day) when she was super little than I do now she is a toddler.

I did it - I managed four hours a day five days a week.

None of the work was very time sensitive so I had flexibility to move deadlines around if needed.

None of the work involved talking to anyone on the phone or screen - so what I looked like or what sounds were going on in the background - breastfeeding, crying, singing to them etc didn’t interfere with communications. I did do some stressful chat room typing with one hand while trying to soothe the baby which was hard but doable.

I was also doing the majority of cooking and daily life admin, and I did all the overnights for the first year because I wasn’t very good at pumping so had to be the one to do all the feeds.

DH took on the bill of the cleaning and laundry and gardening. And all shopping etc

It was exhausting but doable.

A lot depends on the baby and what they need - how they react during the day.

The more help you can get paid or family for everything else needed the easier it will be.

Babies usually sleep a lot. Some people are luckier than others in that respect.

If you can do your work in 30 min to an hour chunks easily then you will probably be okay.

See I did the tea drinking and book reading while feeding the babies rather than wait until they slept. I was working from when my 3rd was a fortnight old. But I was building and setting up computer systems( physically) so could do lots of it it while he slept and set software up to install while I did other stuff. My eldest 2 were 12 and 9 when ds was born so more independent. DS went to nursery at 6 months as more demanding by then and not much chance to get stuff done

Get a mother’s help. If your baby is a good sleeper then you should get a few hours to yourself per day, but you won’t want to use it for working.

showering/ eating/ sitting down will all take priority.

I do think that it’s the type of work that plays as big a part of the situation.

I was creating content for websites and writing copy and editing photos - with some training of junior staff ( but all done in a text chat room so possible to do while breastfeeding too)

Work that can be split into manageable chunks and if you’ve got the kind of brain that can stop and start work quickly during short sessions can be done quite easily.

It’s still tiring but can be done in the right circumstances.

U shouldn't feel bad for posting this..me personally I would take the time to get yourself well and cherish the time with your newborn.. take your maternity leave and give yourself some time off and return to work gradually if your partner is returning to work full time hopefully you should be able to make ends meet

It really depends on the baby. My first cried constantly and never slept, I couldn't put them down for a second without them resorting to crying their heads out. I hardly hard time to pee and couldn't put 2 and 2 together from exhaustion. Second baby was a dream, never crying, sleeping well, never vomiting - I could have easily worked quite a few hours per day with them from day one (easy birth). I would plan for the worst case scenario in your case and set up as much help as possible beforehand. Fill the freezer with cooked meals, get a cleaner, get someone to help with the baby etc.

It completely depends on your baby.
For some families, all you can do is be alive for the first 6 weeks.
For others with contented easy babies it would be more achievable.

The best thing to do is probably to get your partner to get longer parental leave. Dad's can take part of the maternity leave nowadays. If he is employed and you have a business that you need to keep going, the reasonable thing to do is for him to look after the baby. Also, sort out nursery or childcare for after 6 months from now. Good nurseries and childminders get booked up quickly.

As OPs have said, the baby itself is a big factor, I could have worked a few hours a day with DS who ate and slept well and was in a reliable routine from about 2 months. DS continued to nap for at least 3 hours a day until he was nearly 4 so he would have been perfect for you! But DD had reflux and was either screaming or just uncomfortable and needing comfort 24/7 for the first several months, which was really hard and it would have been impossible to work. With her, work would have been possible for a couple of hours a day from about 8 months as her reflux improved then. Nurseries and childminders are good too! And I had very little help, my DH works really long hours and was often away for long periods at that point in his career.