To think I’d be able to work with a newborn?

[Pipiscoming2023]

I think I’m probably going to get shot down here but hoping someone who’s experienced in this can help.

I’m self-employed and due to have a baby at the end of November/beginning of December. Luckily, December is a very quiet time for me and so taking that time off isn’t a huge issue. However, I’d likely need to return to doing some work from mid Jan - so around 6 weeks off work in total.

This isn’t for financial reasons as such as we have some savings to cover us for maternity, but more due to the nature of my work that I wouldn’t be able to let my clients down during a really busy period. I’d likely lose a lot of clients and struggle to rebuild if I took too much time off. I love my job and my clients too! I did look at getting some kind of admin support to cover but I’d still need to work some hours in the business myself each week.

And no we didn’t plan the timings very well, I know, but conception was difficult for us. Would I be able to do at least a couple of hours work a day while baby naps etc? DH is a very hands on, helpful partner and is supportive of my choices whatever they may be. He works full time and will be returning to work mid Jan as he’s taking holiday/Christmas/paternity combined.

Any advice from someone who’s done it? Or am I just totally mad to consider it?

YABU - you won’t be able to work with a baby (if not, please tell me when you think it would be realistic to go back to work)

YANBU - you’d have some time to work each week

Birth is unpredictable, recovery is unpredictable and babies are unpredictable.

With my first, I had a difficult birth and baby needed SCBU so we didn't even come home from the hospital for a couple of weeks. Going back to work a few weeks after that would have been tough, but she was quite an easy baby. I could probably have managed to do 1-2 hours work a day from home while she slept. I certainly wouldn't have wanted to at that stage, but I could have done it if I really needed to.

With my second, birth and recovery were a doddle. I felt great for the first couple of weeks....then PND hit me like a ton of bricks and it was months before I emerged from the fog. I genuinely couldn't have gone back to work, even for a couple of hours a day, if my life depended on it.

I would try to play it by ere if at all possible.

You mean you didnt manage it, so dont believe others that do.

How odd.

For the record, we managed it with our first (yay for bottles and shared parental leave).

We didnt for the second because of boobs (with bottle refusal within the first week). But he did most toddler care and other stuff so equal 'workload' overall.

Doing SPL is great long term as well as it helps stops the woman being the sole baby expert and the default parent.

At 11 weeks PP, I’m now starting to be able to get some work done during nap times. I’d say GET A SLING!! Get a sling and hopefully baby will sleep in it, leaving you hands free. For me this was for cooking and housework, but if you could do as some others have suggested and get a cleaner/lots of prepared food, you’d probably have a bit more time.

also, a standing desk if you are using a sling. It makes it easier to type haha

Hi Op,
from what you have described. I suspect you will be able to. Realistically, there’s a point where you don’t have a choice if you want to keep your business going!
I am self employed and worked straight away. Luckily/unluckily I had staff to continue to manage as the business hadn’t build enough for me to just leave for a maternity.

It sounds like the business is ‘just you’ which will take a lot of stress off you in terms of managing staff. I definitely recommend getting some admin support though! Even if it’s a virtual reception/admin. The most frustrating thing I found was having to answer work related questions that someone else could have easily been answering when I was trying to learn how to look after a new born and recover after an emergency c-section. I also put an out of office for two weeks as soon as I went in to labour. I just didn’t stick to it (definitely should have done though! Haha).

i also ended up sending my son to nursery from 12 weeks as I had to go back and physically see clients. It was a hard first year. But definitely worth it!

Yanbu. My daughter took several courses while on maternity leave (most have 12 months here) she did the majority of her studies while babe was napping. If she needed extra time I would take the little one for a couple hours. Her partner is very hands on and would let her have time to study as well.
So with a bit of planning and possibly having a mom's helper if needed. Young Teens are great for this as you are still nearby but they get the experience for being a babysitter later(bonus you may end up with an awesomebabysitterlater when you and hubby want a night out.)

I think it’s doable when the baby is young as they mainly eat and sleep, although you may be very tired depending on how the baby sleeps of course. I think once they get to around 6 months and more alert and moving around would then become difficult. Good luck and congratulations.

I’m also SE and I launched a new product whilst “on maternity leave” that made £40,000 before baby was 7mo.

Dunno if I’d have managed with my first though. Wanted to be there drooling over her 24/7. Can be done, if you really put your mind to it.

It depends on the baby: is it sick, does it sleep at night or keep you up constantly, etc.

it depends on the birth: do you need to recover from an emergency C-section? Tears? Loss of blood?

Remember you will be bleeding heavily for about 3 weeks (and maybe breastfeeding?) - it’s all very tiring.

I think it’s possible with as much help as possible.
plan for the worst.

In my case, we needed 5 months to recover each time.

Once the baby is there, you might find you actually want to spend time with them (and not so much your business) - that also sometimes happens. :)

I went back to work a few weeks after each of my children were born. It was fine. They all went to nursery when they got a bit bigger. Good luck.

Dads are more than capable of sharing baby care if they are good fathers and if they have the chance. I wouldn't accept any less.

It's sad that you think it's suspicious that a father can care for his own baby.

Could your partner take some shared parental leave? If he is employed then he might get paid leave whereas I assume you wouldnt as self employed? Would free you up to focus on work but still be there for baby too

How about having some help with the baby either Grandparents or paid help like a nanny to help with baby instead of admin support , just a thought. the trouble with babies , yes they do sleep a lot unfortunately sometimes they just want to be on you rather than in a crib and it is always when you want to be doing something else. good luck with the birth and enjoy motherhood.

I haven’t read all the responses, but my experience is that I was able to work with a newborn. In fact, I had 3 jobs. Everyone told me how much my life would change when I had a baby. However, I was lucky to have a baby that slept well, and kept to routines (I followed The Contented Baby book) and I was back working (at home) a week after giving birth (without a cleaner, home help etc!) Working with a toddler at home is a lot more difficult! But a baby that eats and sleeps well, I think it is possible, however you won’t know until baby is born. Good luck!

It really depends on the baby. Don't take it as gospel that all babies nap and sleep well-because they don't. My oldest child had reflux and cow's milk protein allergy- he only slept for 20 minutes at a time until these issues were under control. This took 9 months as I was a first time mother and nobody would listen to me-they told me my poor child constantly crying in pain was normal and I was an overly anxious first time mother. I know my example is on the extreme side and some babies do sleep a lot and nap well. Just be prepared that your baby may not be one of those.

My first was a good sleeper, I’d have been able to work a bit from 8 weeks. The first 6 weeks I was just confused about the fact a small human had moved in, my body had gone funny and I cried all the time as I couldn’t breast feed. Don’t underestimate all of this!
After that, it wasn’t so bad. DD put herself into a routine and slept well at nap time and at night unless I messed up her routine.

Definitely doable depending on your birth recovery and baby. I had an easy birth and baby that slept, fed (EBF) well and i studied daily and sat a difficult exam at 4 months PP. I had studied a lot during pregnancy, took 1 month off PP then started daily studying for a few hours a day when the baby slept.

After the birth of my second, i had PND and it wouldn't have been possible for me to study or work after the birth.

I think you should aim to give it a go but don't be hard on yourself if you're not up to it. You may also want to immerse yourself in the newborn bubble which is also a pleasant place to be without thinking of work if you can.

It totally depends on your job. I went back to work when my son was 4weeks old but I’m a childminder so it worked very well but if your job meant hours spent in zoom meetings, conference calls or face to face consultations etc it may not work. Wish you the very best OP and hope it works out. Being able to be there for your child and still be earning is something many parents want. X

It very much depends on the type of baby you get. My son would sleep for half an hour at a time. Often I had to be pushing the pram/pushchair or be in the chair to achieve that. Overnight he would sleep 30mins to 2 hours and it could take up to 3 hours to get him back to sleep. My NCT class thought I was exaggerating until we went on holiday with another family. I was like a zombie the entire time. I could barely remember my name when I went back to work at 9 and a half months. I had to have a phone meeting with HR and my manager afterwards I had no clue what we’d discussed so I had the meeting again when I went back. I had to sign to give permission to publish a paper and I couldn’t manage to print, scan and send back. If you have a baby like my first one you couldn’t work 2 hours a day. My second slept better and it might have been possible. Good luck.

I would have had more chance of flying to the moon than doing any work during my sons first year.

just had baby number 2 and she’s sleeping more than he did. So it depends on the baby

I think if your baby is chilled AND if you can be flexible with the hours you need to work then it could be fine. If it’s more like I need to fully concentrate from 11-3 then it’s going to be harder. I have a 4 month old right now and am self employed. I am on mat leave until 6 months but each month I have to tie up about 5 hours of admin duties. personally I find it really difficult to focus on this as often as soon as I get stuck in baby needs me. Plus she is so darn cute I find it difficult to motivate myself to work!!

I know several women who returned to full time work after 6 weeks (US).

The babies were in daycare.

They were all shattered because nobody was getting much sleep at night.

If you want to do it and you can afford a night nurse, then that's one way to make it work. The alternative is to have the baby's father do all the night feedings.

It also depends on how feeding goes, if you plan to breastfeed. For me, it was 4 months of me and the baby crying every 2 hours while I tried to get her to latch (until we gave up on breastfeeding). Literally, every 2 hours of every day was a whole trauma, for months. On top of that, I never got more than a couple of hours sleep at a time, so I could barely keep the house moderately tidy or pop to the shops let alone work.

I was in a similar situation to you. Self-employed, didn't want to lose clients. But it was simply impossible in my case.

Congratulations! I’d suggest you get a nanny to help while you need to work. Good luck and enjoy!

The thing is, with some children (looking at you second born 😳), not getting more than a couple of hours sleep a night isn't just a newborn thing.

My second did this from 6-18m, a time when the vast majority of working mums will have returned. I was often delighted at a 2 hour spell tbh.

Given that the OP isn't likely to be able yo put work on hold until thr baby is actually sleeping well, theres an argument to be made that there's no point waiting for a few months when it may well be just as bad (or worse) then.

I did, and I was a single parent pretty much from the outset. But I had a night nanny twice a week, and a cleaner. So I think - as someone else said further up the thread - it works if you're doing it to maintain your career and not backslide, but you end up spending most of the money you've made on keeping working. For me it helped keep me sane, gave me an outlet and meant I could go back to proper work when I was ready (writing a column per week and doing one tv show per week from 5 weeks post partum), and slowly build up.