To think the young gf/wife gets a raw deal

[gutfightinghead]

I’m 15 years younger than my DH. We have been married a year and have a 4 month old baby. I’m 25, he’s 40 and we’re both in great careers, have our own home, financially stable, unbelievable sex life and genuinely happy. We have our disagreements like everyone else but on the whole it’s a healthy, happy relationship.

however - I still find I get a lot of sneers and as if I must be a young bimbo for being much younger, like I’m a silly wee girl. We got a lot of ‘oh she’s a silly young girl’ or ‘she’s his mid life crisis’, ‘it’ll never last’ etc.

just recently we had an appointment with our solicitor about something and he apologised and we said why? And he said he got us all wrong on paper he expected some young dope not someone with career, sensible etc

ive also noticed on mumsnet itself a lot of younger gf/wives etc get a bad name or labelled very quickly.

if they’re the other woman I completely understand as I know that sometimes is the case when there’s a younger gf/wife but apart from that I don’t understand why we get labelled so badly or as if we are silly/naive/stupid??

My first uncharitable thought was a seeking arrangement

My DS saved 30k whilst studying so it’s doable.

He started and made significant profit from his own company and then sold it to other students when he left.

Careful now OP, you’re digging yourself into such a hole that you’ll have to name change when you’re back posting your woes 😂.

For me, every post you have written reinforces the stereotypes of why a 41yr old might decide to start a new family with a 25yr old. In my experience, happy people don’t tend to go on MN insisting in post after post that they’re happy and have sex with their husbands every night but if you’re happy, then you’re happy.

@gutfightinghead at 25 your prefrontal cortex has only just finished developing.
Your husband may be happy but he's also a creeper- what self respecting man in his late 30s goes out with a 21yo.

You may be married with kids now but trust and believe when you are 45 and have your 21yo comes home saying the love of their life is closer on age to you than them you'll rethink this stance.

I'm 36 and I can't imagine having anything in common with a 21yo.
Doesn't matter if you have a career (I was a qualified chartered accountant at 25) the outlook and behaviour of someone in their early twenties is different from someone approaching 40. He's lured you in and imo your post is no different from those 15yo being groomed by men in their late 20s saying they are mature for their ages..., they aren't. You aren't.

Men that go for much younger women (just you were basically a teenager when you met so I'm giving grace) fall into 2 brackets a) midlife crisis b) are losers who aren't effectual enough to date their peers so go for younger partners that they can mould .

Not sure which your husband falls into.

Come back to this post in a decade once you've experienced more of life and let us know how you are getting on.

Why would I pay it back outright? Literally everyone pays back via salary? I never said I’m that wealthy I can do that. I just made some good choices and got lucky. And no I didn’t need to save that much. Hope no one who is assuming figures works in finance here as they’re way off.

😂 there’s the immature teen.

what is it with kids and the incorrect use of the word literally! Ofcourse not every single person pays their student loans off through salary. The majority perhaps. But not every single person. That is why the facility is there to pay off as a lump some. Literally (sorry couldn’t help myself!).

I’m not a teen. Grow up. Some of the posts on here really just are pure nasty. Think that’s me done with mumsnet. If you’re just on to post nasty stuff maybe think about how happy you are in your own lives. Just saying.

If you had a student loan you’d know the interest was over 7 percent. And not have to ask this question.

OP did you grow up, go to university and meet your partner all on this same island with cheap housing?

@Janieforever I was in the position where I could've paid it back. I bought a house instead. Much better investment. To be fair, this is the one thing I feel OP got right. Student loans are wiped off after 30 years anyway. And they're means tested.

@Hubblebubble

Obviously you should not pay your student loan off if you think there is a chance it will get wiped.

If you are earning £50k at 25, and on a trajectory from there, then I’d argue paying off chunks when you can, rather than buying BTL properties, is a better investment.

Exactly! I didn't have much left after paying rent at uni. I didn't have £1k a month, let alone enough to save £1k and have money left over! I'd like to know what part time job she had at uni to fit around her studies. Although I bet mummy and daddy paid for things and also gave her a deposit on a house.

@PinkNailpolish they most certainly did not thank you very much.

If you went to uni and graduated at 21, how did you have enough money to invest in properties? Some students don't have time for a job and others manage part time minimum wage jobs eg shop assistants and bar/restaurant staff.

I’ve been supportive and kind
You’ve ignored my posts and focussed on the negative, which is making me question my initial thoughts.

And at 1140 you said you'd not be commenting any more. But here you are, doubling down on what you want to feel aggrieved at and ignoring the valid points lots of people are making.

Can you genuinely not see how immature this presents as?

I’m really interested in which lender, only four years ago, was willing to extend loans on both a residential mortgage and a buy to let, to a new graduate. What could the pay slips of someone at that stage have shown them that was so compelling? And where on earth she could have got enough money for two whole deposits?

On Mystery Island.

Fictional Island.

Oh absolutely - I believe the unbelievable sex is the most unbelievable ever

Then the rest of the staff clapped, dontcha know....

You wouldn’t know the island. It goes to a different school

The only person I know that still uses the word “miffed” is my 75 year old dad! Some of the phasing is very odd really not getting “25 year old” vibes !

To be fair, I love using the word 'miffed'. I am early 50s though. I have children OPs age, they do not use this word (nor many others OP has used, ie logging off).

So, what island would someone use the phrase 'wee girl'? I'm not in UK, but if someone used that phrase i would automatically assume they were Scottish. And do those islands have huge financial companies that pay extraordinary well?

Op you keep saying you're done and no longer responding then coming back...(just like a teenager...ahem)