To think the young gf/wife gets a raw deal

[gutfightinghead]

I’m 15 years younger than my DH. We have been married a year and have a 4 month old baby. I’m 25, he’s 40 and we’re both in great careers, have our own home, financially stable, unbelievable sex life and genuinely happy. We have our disagreements like everyone else but on the whole it’s a healthy, happy relationship.

however - I still find I get a lot of sneers and as if I must be a young bimbo for being much younger, like I’m a silly wee girl. We got a lot of ‘oh she’s a silly young girl’ or ‘she’s his mid life crisis’, ‘it’ll never last’ etc.

just recently we had an appointment with our solicitor about something and he apologised and we said why? And he said he got us all wrong on paper he expected some young dope not someone with career, sensible etc

ive also noticed on mumsnet itself a lot of younger gf/wives etc get a bad name or labelled very quickly.

if they’re the other woman I completely understand as I know that sometimes is the case when there’s a younger gf/wife but apart from that I don’t understand why we get labelled so badly or as if we are silly/naive/stupid??

Even if this is true (good for you if it is OP)

how is this a raw deal?

sounds incredibly privileged to me.

and a bit like you came to brag about your amazing life

I work in a similar industry to OP claims.

I cannot imagine being in a relationship with any of the graduates. I hope I’m not old for my age but they seem like children😂. One on occasions a mother rang me to check on her 21 year old son.

OP also seems very childlike and immature. However I assume her husband is not particularly mature either (based on her other thread!).

Haha spot on.

However, she doesn’t even earn £100k! And she admitted she is his first wife, so I think she is expecting further wives.

At age twenty I met a man in his thirties. He was divorced, no kids but a shit tonne of baggage that I just didn’t see due to my age. His ex-wife had cheated on him so he could be jealous and he still lived in the home they had shared and expected me to move in and just slot into his life. I wasn’t on an equal footing at that stage, I was a student with a part time job and he liked to say that I would realise that he was right about everything when I was older, whilst at the same time justifying the relationship by saying that I was mature for my age. Honestly I look back and wonder what I was doing wasting my youth with someone like that.

I hope that you are as happy as you say and that everything works out for you op. But that doesn’t change the fact that a man in his thirties dating a 21 year old is at best grim and at worst predatory.

My daughter is 16 years younger than my son in law. He had been divorced a long time before they met. They have a great marriage and to be honest I never think
about the age gap. He’s a fantastic husband and father. On the other side of the coin older women who date younger men get pilloried far more. However there are plenty of younger men who
find older women attractive. Unless it’s a case of young girl clearly being with much older man because he’s loaded if it works for the people involved I don’t see a problem.

Deleted

I suppose I’m lying too when I say we have sex every night bar when Aunt Flo makes her monthly appearance.

NO! - you did not just write that 😂😂😂

The nerdy linguist in me has been fascinated by the language in these posts. It just doesn’t fit with a young, highly educated, professional woman who has been fast- tracked into a very well-paid role in a highly competitive industry. At first you sounded like a teenager, now you sound like 75 year old man.

@bertagarden

15 year old boys and 75 year old men are fairly similar in their opinions these days, thanks a lot Andrew Tate.

This has now tipped over into amusing and fake.

I just hope you are currently using contraception during your nightly amazing (post partum)sex. Your perfect life might be less perfect if you have another child with a 13 month age gap, more maternity leave would disrupt even your stellar career, and the next baby might not be such an unusually tranquil soul.

Women who get manipulated young into age gap relationships are either considered unattractive to men their own age, or have been caught young enough they can’t compare, but as someone who has experience - at OP’s age the sex is ALWAYS better with another 25 yo.

Yes jealousy. That'll be it.
Because there's a real shortage of older men who'd want a woman 15 years younger out there. Lucky lucky OP, she's trapped a unicorn! No wonder everyone's green with envy.🙄

@Allthegoodnamesarechosen

2 under 2 is on the to-do/achievement list.

She’ll manage. She’s smashing life so far. A few unexpected pregnancies just make you more resilient.

However, I'm in an age gap relationship myself (12 years) and my opinion has changed over the years. When I was 28 and he was 40 I saw us as being on the same level. Now I'm 38 and he is 50, I see there is quite a big gap. We just aren't going through life together and having the same experiences.

I think it does depend on the couple. When I was uounger, I was always attracted to older men ( although the oldest was 11 years older than me), but I married someone a bit younger than me. Now we are both 50, I think he's a bit fogeyish ( compared to me at 50), which was maybe what attracted me to him when I was younger. He's thinking about early retirement. We still have school-age children! My parents had a 12 year age gap. My dad was far more active at 85 than my mum is at 74 now. He was always curious, always wanted to do different things, and was always learning some new thing or other, whereas she was quite stuck in her ways. But as you've probably guessed, he's dead, and she was a relatively young widow.

oooh op keep bragging about your amazing sex life! we all care so much about your dh’s ancient penis 😍

@satellitesunshine omg 😂😂😂👏🏻

I wouldn't judge the woman as much, I'd be judging the man for not wanting a partner closer to his age which is the sensible thing for everyone. Men actually age faster and die earlier than women so if anything the woman should be older. I'm not saying it should never happen though, I'm certain that in many cases it is a good partnership and works well. But it does speak loudly of the man being in denial of his age and the misogynistic undertone that women past a certain age aren't as worthy or desirable as men.

Similar age gap to you: DH is 14 years older. We got together when I was 25, I'm now 36. I can honestly say I never got the reaction you described.

Oh come on:

"solicitor is very old school, not very PC type, he’s one of those ones if you knew him you’d know it’s his manner."

... and he called you a 'dope'?

It doesn't even sound like you've met a solicitor!

😄

OP you sound like a bad romantic novelist. Passionate encounter indeed

Wasn't his wife his teacher and he was groomed as an underage child?

Yep. Despicable, yet it is working.

On the Macron side of things…

im sorry but I find her the creepiest woman ever. Like shivers down my spine and I don’t know why vibes

I suspect there is some truth here, and a lot of exaggeration. I don’t believe that someone who communicates like this is a successful manager in a highly competitive field. Her claimed salary and age are too low for that. She also doesn’t seem to have a basic understanding of workplace law or how maternity pay policy is applied (it’s not given as a reward to high achievers).

I think that she did marry a much older man. I think he is going through a messy custody or maintainable battle. And I think she has involved herself in it. I think a solicitor may have come across as a bit judgemental or dismissive of her so she has made up the dope comment and the apology. She may have been dismissed because of her age - but equally because she is not the parent in this dispute. I can’t imagine what she would have said to dazzle him into an apology for his unspoken misconception. She hasn’t come across here as an authoritative communicator.

I thinks he has also made up the rental properties - the timeline and finance don’t make sense. Her description of her family life and childhood does not suggest trust fund baby. And saving a deposit for two rentals and a residential home while studying doesn’t add up.

I think this is an immature woman who wants to be taken seriously and treated like a grown up. So she has made up what she thinks a grown up life would look like for an Uber successful 25 year old who is also married, has a step child and a baby.