@LookItsMeAgain yes I spoke with the parents when I dropped off yesterday.
Basically they said they 'don't taxi their kids around' if their kids choose to go out then its on them to arrange how they get to where they are going and get home again. Got told alot of 'they need to learn to be independant' 'you can't wrap them up in cotton wool'. They have a 17 yr old son who was raised the same way and it done him no harm. So on an so forth.
They didn't ask me to drive their daughter home - I choose to this. True.
There daughter has legs, she can walk. Also true.
They have never told their child they will collect them so have never provided any excuse why they can collect them.
They are relatively new to the area, having moved from a small village. We are in a large town that is split between 'the old town' where I live and 'the new build estate' where they live. The school campus stretches across the boarder of two areas so they are divided. They were completely nieve to where I lived and that whilst it takes there daughter 5 mins to get to school and the school is at the end of our road, it isn't a 5 min walk to and from my house as once the school campus is closed you have to divert around it which is 30 mins each way. They also don't understand the dangers of the area. On paper and during day light it's a nice area with lots to offer, I'm sure the sales pack for new estate sold the dream but We have a high density of youths, they congregate in large groups after dark, alot of violence and anti social behavour. Dispersal orders and stop and search powers are common which pushes the groups into the residential areas where we both live. I stood explaining this - Why do see no dog walkers, no street runners, absolutely no one on the streets after dark?!?! Why do you think the school teachers line the roads around the school for drop off and kick out?!?!
It's not gang warfare by any stretch but there is a problem. You need to be street smart and you need your children to be street smart. Personally, the approach they took with their son when living in a quieter village isn't appropriate for their daughter living here - but ultimately that's their decision.
I've left it that she is welcome over but I will not be dropping her back and I am not comfortable for her to leave my house by foot after dark.
If she's walking, my daughter will not be accompanying her (they didn't know about this, turns out this is the child asking my daughter to walk with her as she doesn't want to walk alone)
If she is walking she has to leave in time to get home before it gets dark.
When the clocks go back she will not be able to come over unless she is collected by them.
I feel quite bad. I know this girl will have fear of missing out as DD and her friend are here. I just made the assumption that her parents would collect as others have done and I do when DD goes elsewhere. We have had other kids over who couldn't be collected but their parents have always approached me and asked if I can drop off and offered thanks, there's been no thanks here, or have told their kids they have to be home by a certain time to be in by dark, dinner etc this child doesn't seem to have a curfew.
To everyone commenting about having kids over everynight. I don't mind having friends over and much prefer that I meet and know DD friends to speak with. As i said we already have one child over as reciprical agreement which benefits me aswell. Another friend or couple of friends added to this makes no difference but i need to be clear moving forward that im not comfortable with children leaving my house after dark to walk long distances and expect them to be collected.