I live in London and am 31 but yet I know very few people who would be trapped renting all their lives.

[lavender2023]

I am wondering if this is atypical? I am talking about people I know personally. Of course we know people who rent or live with parents. Those who live with parents (long term) tend to be in 2 categories:
(a) long term sick or serious mental health issues; often not working, probably would struggle to buy or even rent their own place with or without a housing crisis as their problems are bigger than that (its a shortage of sheltered housing rather than housing per se)
(b) from cultures where this is normal and even expected.

The people I know who rent tend to be recent immigrants (last 2-3 years; the immigrants I know who have been here long enough to obtain ILR all own, including me) or they are renting for lifestyle reasons (could easily afford to buy but choose not to; or like someone I know whose parents own an apartment that he can live in rent free (but he wants to live in central London). I know two people in social housing but I would argue they are reasonably secure. Many of my neighbours are renters but then again many of them appear to be immigrants from places like HK (and are probably pretty recent).

Almost everyone I know who bought in London has received help from parents including me and DH (who live in his mum's house rent free for 3 years). Most people we know have gotten actual cash though. I used to know far more colleagues in my age group who rented but now that I am 31, most seem to have bought and the younger ones are increasingly staying at home while working in London. Given that the latter is what Dh and I did as young graduates in London, I highly doubt they would be forced into private rental as DH and I managed to save £90k in 3 years when living at home which still counts for something even in London with the current mortgage rates.

Logically, my experience is not the reality. the home ownership rate for those under 40 is something like 50%. So there are a lot of people out there in private rental. Yet I feel like it is something I read about in the papers. Is this why there has been no political consensus on the housing crisis because middle income people are insulated from it (even in London where the housing crisis is most acute). I must imagine people in cheaper areas must be truly insulated from it because a friend of mine on (less than £30k) can afford to buy a modest flat in the midlands on his own.

DH does have family who are in long term rental (don't think its choice) but they live in a different country so probably not fair to compare.

Your circle are privileged enough that they can either get a cash gift from their parents or live at home for as long as they need to save accordingly. But that of course won’t be the case for all of London.

This isn't true for everyone I know. Many of my ex colleagues didn't have parents who live in London. They bought outside London though and paid a lot to commute. So while yes they are impacted by the housing crisis, many of them also say they prefer living outside London anyway. I don't know them well enough to say whether they got help though I am inclined to think yes.

You're posh. Well done. HTH.

Yes but that is my question. If i am so insulated, maybe a lot of people are which is why people don't feel that expensive housing is such a huge issue! When it is, it literally destroys lives. If the solution is to live with parents or move further out, then people may not think its such a big deal

It’s not a case of ‘if’ - you are insulated if you know nobody affected by the housing crisis. I’m not really sure what you’re wanting from this thread..

Hardly. at my old workplace they paid a lot of graduates £25k-28k. Most of my ex colleagues left after a year. The ones that stayed had family to live with if they stayed on the same pay scale or were more senior (and bought houses in the commuter belt once they reached their 30s).

I grew up in London and attended both state a private schools. My friends from private school are all home owners. About 50% of my friends who attended my state school are renting.

I just want to know if its unusual. Most of the people I know are not rich either. I am just wondering if british families have calibrated themselves so well to the housing crisis that for those lucky enough to have good relationships with their families, they don't suffer so much.

I know several people in their 40s in London who live in houseshares.

I live outside of London and my husband and I are in our mid 40s we have been trapped as renters for the last 25 years and don’t think we will ever own. We have a decent income but in the early days every time we applied we were turned down previously.

For the last 12 years a mixture of childcare, company pay sacrifices during downturns and having to pay privately for surgery that should have been done on the NHS has meant that we have never managed to save enough for a modern day deposit!

Every scheme that the the government has brought out doesn’t seem to support us!
We did look at houses under the no deposit scheme but they were new builds with zero storage and lots of building issues (My husband works in architecture)

What is your definition of ‘middle income’? I’m 34 and the ‘middle income’ friends I have are certainly not insulated from the housing crisis. In the last 5 years anyone I know buying in London has had help from parents in the region of £100k+

I don't know anyone who had bought in London without help be that living at home free &/or cash gift including me. But I think people who can't afford leave. Certainly the people in my part of London are far more privileged then I am.

I think you live in a privileged area. We are in London and know many renters, there are a few single mums following breakups we know who I think will be stuck in long term rent. I know older women post break up in the same situation too. Don't know any men stuck renting permanently now I think about it.

I am just wondering if british families have calibrated themselves so well to the housing crisis that for those lucky enough to have good relationships with their families, they don't suffer so much.

I think there's a very strong belief amongst some in society that you get your dc on the ladder.

Our gift came from property gains that they went back into property, it would be better if the gains weren't so big as then i wouldn't need them to buy.

Yeah it’s unusual.

Think of the many thousands of people in london that earn minimum wage and then ask yourself if they’d be able to save up 90k for a mortgage if they moved back in with their parents for 3 years.

You and your friends have been very lucky to be given money/help as your families have been able to do that for you. Having a good relationship with your family has little to do with the housing crisis that most people are facing if their families don’t have that kind of disposable income to help them with.

U@goldfootball I think you’re sort of proving the OPs point. You’re friends with middle income people and they’ve had huge gifts of money. Like OP says, people have calibrated.

You "just want to know if it's unusual"? Really?

There are mountains of stats on this topic which are out there in the public domain. It's pretty damn easy to work out whether your immediate circle is unusual. Having parents who are able to give you enough cash for a deposit in London is not the norm, and it's very easy to work that out if you have any intelligence at all.

And the fact that your old workplace paid new grads £25-28k is neither here nor there. What would those people be earning after 3 to 5 years?

My close circle of London based friends from my 20s have all bought places in their mid thirties apart from one couple.

Generally how they did it was:

One had a husband who owned a buy to let outside of London he bought in his twenties. They sold that for the deposit.

One had help from parents and had also saved hard.

Two left London and bought elsewhere.

One had slightly older partner (9 years) who already owned a London flat so he sold that and they used it for the deposit (me)!

One couple bought a house with the husband's mum when she needed to live somewhere post divorce. The mum brought the deposit.

The couple that still rent had post grad debt but also refuse to countenace moving from the rather expensive area of East London they settled in (either to rent or buy).

I think the people you know must be richer than you thought. I was very surprised when a former flatmate bought a flat in London for around £450k. Turns out their mum had a second home she sold 🤷🏻‍♀️ similarly another friend moved into a flat her parents bought outright. I don’t know how much it cost but it was extraordinary to me that her parents could just buy it cash. Up until then I hadn’t realised that she wasn’t just ‘a bit posh’, her parents were actually rich.

So mainly family help and/or previous luck in the housing market.

I do know someone who has become homeless after her divorce, but she is now in temporary accommodation. She was sectioned several times in the last year. She has severe mental health issues. tbh even in the 1990s where a house in London was 3 times the average London income, i think she would have struggled.

...for those lucky enough to have good relationships with their families...

If your family is poor, it won't make a blind bit of difference how good your relationship with them is.

I'm the exception amongst my circle, just as my sister is the minority amongst her circle, in that we are both renting in our 40s and probably will always be.

The difference is, as you've identified, parental wealth, which is the 'help' to get people started. It's maddening, this little chunk of support enables some people into a lifetime of secure home ownership, but those without parents who can do that, it can be a lifetime of rentals (I did own briefly, but divorce put an end to that).

my DH grew up on free school meals. We just lived with his mum and 3 sisters in a 3 bed victorian terraced and saved.

Lots of my neighbours, school mum friends have had significant help to move up the ladder eg inheritances of 500k plus