I live in London and am 31 but yet I know very few people who would be trapped renting all their lives.

[lavender2023]

I am wondering if this is atypical? I am talking about people I know personally. Of course we know people who rent or live with parents. Those who live with parents (long term) tend to be in 2 categories:
(a) long term sick or serious mental health issues; often not working, probably would struggle to buy or even rent their own place with or without a housing crisis as their problems are bigger than that (its a shortage of sheltered housing rather than housing per se)
(b) from cultures where this is normal and even expected.

The people I know who rent tend to be recent immigrants (last 2-3 years; the immigrants I know who have been here long enough to obtain ILR all own, including me) or they are renting for lifestyle reasons (could easily afford to buy but choose not to; or like someone I know whose parents own an apartment that he can live in rent free (but he wants to live in central London). I know two people in social housing but I would argue they are reasonably secure. Many of my neighbours are renters but then again many of them appear to be immigrants from places like HK (and are probably pretty recent).

Almost everyone I know who bought in London has received help from parents including me and DH (who live in his mum's house rent free for 3 years). Most people we know have gotten actual cash though. I used to know far more colleagues in my age group who rented but now that I am 31, most seem to have bought and the younger ones are increasingly staying at home while working in London. Given that the latter is what Dh and I did as young graduates in London, I highly doubt they would be forced into private rental as DH and I managed to save £90k in 3 years when living at home which still counts for something even in London with the current mortgage rates.

Logically, my experience is not the reality. the home ownership rate for those under 40 is something like 50%. So there are a lot of people out there in private rental. Yet I feel like it is something I read about in the papers. Is this why there has been no political consensus on the housing crisis because middle income people are insulated from it (even in London where the housing crisis is most acute). I must imagine people in cheaper areas must be truly insulated from it because a friend of mine on (less than £30k) can afford to buy a modest flat in the midlands on his own.

DH does have family who are in long term rental (don't think its choice) but they live in a different country so probably not fair to compare.

my DH grew up on free school meals. We just lived with his mum and 3 sisters in a 3 bed victorian terraced and saved.

But your mil had a property in London that you could fit into & that she didn't need to charge you market rent for, that's a privilege

ah I meant that the middle income friends I have without rich parents are still renting and have no real hope of buying in London. There are a lot more of them that the 5 or so people I know who have bought. I think it would be really unusual to not know anyone still renting at 31.

So at that point, his mum must have been well off enough that she didn't need the two working adults living in her house to contribute much to her rent/bills/food?

You put it perfectly

We offered but she didn't want it. This was pre inflation though, she is struggling now (can only afford to buy stuff from aldi and lidl) so we try to help her now when she allows us. She rejects all offers of money(from us) and she is very proud so we try to buy her things she would need for her religion as well as luxuries and take her out. She has never earned more than £16k (and raised 4 kids on that). She did have parental help buying her house though.Her dad is probably still helping her out even if we don't know for sure.

You offered but she didn't want it.

Ergo - she could afford to pay your share of the bills/rent etc.

Being able to fund two extra working adults in your home without asking them for money is not poverty.

Her mortgage was £300 as she bought her house for £100k in 1997. It was accessible for poorer Londoners then. I think even social rent in London is probably higher than that esp for a 3 bed.

Quite. Many of my friends bought in their 30s. All of them were given large chunks of money by parents.

My sister married someone who bought their house with money from his parents.

I still rent.

I'm not sure what your point is? You know lots of rich and privileged people?

None of this is relevant. The fact is that your DH's family has a level of privilege (which appears to stem from money from his grandfather) which the two of you benefitted from.

A good relationship with family is great, but if your parents don't have the advantage of owning a property in London and/or being able to support you, it won't buy you a house.

No not that people are rich and privileged. Historically, there has only been real social change when the middle classes started organizing. If we are all insulated from the true brunt of the housing crisis because we recalibrate our expectations (move out of london, live in a flat, have one fewer child- some of which people may actually convince themselves its what they wanted all along) or we get help (by pleading with our parents who sacrifice themselves to help us) or a combination of the two, who is going to organize?

It’s not really a ‘we just…’ situation to be living rent free in London. Although I do get that people bristle at the assumption they are privileged when they have always had a low income but are homeowners. That is quite complex.

one of my (non - homeowner) friends is form London and still lives there, in many ways her life was less privileged growing up than the rest of our university friends but the difference it made once we graduated and she could live at home and work in London… it took the pressure off and even though she hasn’t bought she’s benefited from time when she didn’t have to be earning when she worked out what she wanted to do as a career.
She would often complain about not being able to afford to buy in her hometown but she didn’t get very far with those of us who are from rural parts of the country where there weren’t as many career opportunities and the house prices were still high in comparison to wages.

Historically, there has only been real social change when the middle classes started organizing

This is really ill-informed.

To pick one example off the top of my head - ever heard of trade unions? The Tolpuddle Martyrs? It wasn't the middle classes who won us most of our employment rights.

I'm 33, live in the midlands and the only one of my friends to own a house. We didn't have any help, my family are poor as are my friends parents. Not sure what your point is exactly? Your personal circumstances are just that, not representative

Hardly. at my old workplace they paid a lot of graduates £25k-28k. Most of my ex colleagues left after a year. The ones that stayed had family to live with if they stayed on the same pay scale or were more senior (and bought houses in the commuter belt once they reached their 30s).

This literally proves the point. £25k - £28k is on or just above the average salary in the UK. It's not the 'starting point' for many people, it's their salary forever.

I know quite a lot of people who bought in London in their 30s and for the majority it’s down to inheritance or family gifts.

I and one other person from my social group bought without parental help - I bought the cheapest flat in the shittest area at the tail end of the last crash and was extremely lucky with the timing because 6 months later I would have been priced out of the market permanently. I couldn’t buy my own flat now, even with a higher salary.

I don’t know many people who rent in London for the simple reason the vast majority left due to crippling rents. I’m not exaggerating when I say over 50% of my friendship group has left London in the last 5 years, many to outside the U.K. as they weren’t even able to afford being ‘trapped’ renting forever here. And all were professionals, in well paying jobs and completely hobbled by rent costs when it came to saving for a deposit. And that was before the CoL and interest rates rises.

If I lost my flat for whatever reason, my London life would be done and dusted as I’d have to go into a house share for a lot more than my mortgage costs me - it’s a terrifying prospect as a single, middle aged woman.

You might not have experienced it up close but it’s not just a news story.

It took me and DH 20 years after graduating to save up enough to buy our first house. Both working full time on what for our area are reasonable salaries.
No space to live with parents, no money available to be gifted, so we were paying private rents. Along with repayments for the bank loan that got us into it in the first place, there was nowhere else where the first months rent in advance and deposit were going to come from. South west, not London.

We were saving, but every so often something really fun would come along - car repairs for the MOT, emergency dental work etc which would decimate them. And before anyone mentions it - no there were no fancy holidays 🙄

People always forget the extra stuff, they don't recognise how much they have been subsidised. 'I just stopped buying avocados and cocktails and was fine in a couple of years...'

This is my experience as well.

DP and I are early 30s, living in London, and across our entire social circle of friends, family, colleagues etc. only a handful of people don’t own a property. A few (like us) have a second property as well.

I do admit to being in a graduate/professional bubble. Among the people I am close enough to discuss this sort of thing with, as many of them didn’t receive family help as did. People forget that there are young people in exceptionally well-paying jobs (law, finance, etc.)

I'd be willing to bet that after 3-5 years experience, they were on a lot more too.

E.g. Big4 in London were paying around £28k as a starting salary for trainees a few years back. 3 years as a trainee, then once you've qualified you have a significant payrise, as well as a shedload of well remunerated exit opportunities.

Giving the starting salary is extremely misleading if you are talking about a professional job in the city.

Talk about priviledge.
I have a friend who is late thirties like myself and still at home. She doesn't earn nearly anyway near enough. Most people I know who earn are either in relationships, have social housing or an inheritance.
Not everyone is lucky enough to have family to pay out for them. Shouldn't even need to be told that to be honest.

Ignore grief from other comments, that's actually a good question.

I'm part of two worlds - 'educated London middle class' and 'disabled'.

Like you, I don't know many within 'educated middle class' group. Even those on income (25-30k) still manage to get somewhere somehow (via parents, tidbits of inheritance from a few elderly relatives and non-married family friends, a few have started full house ownership as next step from shared flat ownership). There's one family with over 40s couple that are still in rental but they are backed up by future full inheritance. One over-50 single female charity worker living in flatshare.

Within disabled group, it's different story....a few live in council housing, many over 50s live in private rentals on housing benefits, go from private rental to another on teacher salary, some had shared ownership applications rejected for being self-employed.

But they're not middle income...

Middle income is about £24k. This is middle income across all ages, would be closer to minimum wage for those in their 20's.

Most people would need to pay parents 'board' if they lived with them.

Most people in the UK don't have very much in terms of savings so wouldn't be able to rely on parents for help.

Also London was much more affordable 20-25 yrs ago. I know someone who paid 100k for a house in Hackney in the late 90s, they sell now for more than 2m

We've been renting for 9 years. We bought a flat 12 years ago a cash buy because my DH was self employed and I was a student so we couldn't get a mortgage. We lived in it for 3 years then rented it out while we rented a house. We're still here 9 years on, still aren't in a position to buy even though we sold the flat last year and have a decent deposit, with the cost of living and interest rates going up we worry we might struggle with the repayments. Though I think we'll be in a position to buy in the next few years but I'll be in my mid forties by then.

Around 50% of my friends are home owners, all those who own a house have been gifted a deposit except one friend who built a successful business and now owns three houses. Several are in council houses and the others are private rented.

@MrsAlgernon The OP is very obviously not middle income. She has named the starting salary for new grads at one of her employers, but not stated her own salary. If she's got c.10 years experience after graduating, in a professional role where starting salaries are £25-28k, it's pretty much guaranteed that she will be on substantially more.

Same op, I keep hearing about a housing crisis but everyone of my peers owns a property