Friend has said she couldn’t be friends with me if I took the job

[lnterviewWoes]

I’ve been offered a really fascinating job that would involve a lot of travel and meeting lots of interesting people.

It involves working for a former politician. Not directly but closely. I don’t support most of their views but the role is independent of their politics.

I have a small group of close friends. I told one friend and she’s said she couldn’t be friends with me if I took it, which has really dampened things. It also comes with a 20% wage increase. I want to take the role but I don’t want to lose one of my oldest friends. I’m really not sure what to do.

@CurlewKate Obviously not, what a silly thing to say.
From what I can tell, this is an argument over a person's politics.

I'm in the US. I wouldn't have a problem with a friend working for a 'run of the mill' Republican. But if any of my friends took a job with Trump or any of his ilk, whilst I would respect their right to do so, I wouldn't be able to remain friends with them. Someone who would work for them just wouldn't have the same moral code as I do. And I'd have the same problem with them working for a morally bankrupt Democrat.

Honestly for me it would depend on the politician and how much it supports their politics.
If its someone quite extreme like Nigel farage then id not take it tbh.
But if its like David Cameron and its not a political job then your friend is being a dick.

Take the job... if she was your true friend she would stand by you regardless...

She’s a pleb.

Take the job. If she's unable to tolerate you earning a living through working for or besides someone she disagrees with, you'll be dealing with her disappointment in you for the rest of your life. She cannot seriously believe she has a say in your career.....

Take the job. A grown up person understands that employment does not mean shared values. I've worked for people many times on this basis. I didn't have to share their politics to do it successfully.

And congratulations btw.

That is honestly ridiculous. People don’t nail themselves to a political mast at eighteen and remain there to death.
Most intelligent people will grow, wax and wane, their priorities change, circumstances change.

To say you can only be friends with people that share exactly the same values as you (impossible by the way) just makes you sound like a rigid, intolerant bigot living in an echo chamber.

Nobody has to stay friends with anyone for any reason.
Would you say the same about a friend becoming a racist? Or becoming a religious extremist? Being tolerant doesn't mean you have to be a doormat with no boundaries.

Btw the real consideration is whether you think this person has longevity. A lot of former politicians are just not that good or influential. That is the real criteria. Politicians are good at hyping their impact or prominence. Only you will know if this is a real opportunity or not.

Though strictly speaking I wouldn't bother with employment related to the Conservative Party since they are washed up. Business will be looking for Labour influence or Labour people.

Take a good look at the politico and take some soundings on their "value". Washed up Conservatives are ten a penny.

So if you turned down the job due to your So-called friend, I wonder how she'd exercise her control over you next? Would you have to get her permission if you went for an alternative job?
You really shouldn't listen to or align with ridiculous people in life. It gets you nowhere. Take the job but don't ever speak to her about it. Because she's jealous, which surpisingly you appear not to be aware of. The fact she had the nerve to give you an ultimatum as if she's your boss, shows how little she rates you.

A friend with conditions is no friend. Take the job.

To be honest, I find it weird that she's put you on the spot like this.

Assuming it's someone with relatively mainstream views, that seems like a completely over the top reaction.

It also doesn't sound like she's made an argument, just issued an ultimatum, in which case the friendship is surely badly damaged even if you don't take the role?

If it's Tony Blair I'm with her.

Is she planning to pay your rent/mortgage?
Run your car?
Feed you/your family?

No?
Thought not.

Nothing to do with her

I agree if it’s Tony Blair then I can understand her aversion. The blood of millions on his hands.

If she was a real friend she’d be delighted for you
congratultions on the job, good bye so called friend

She isn’t the friend you thought she was OP, take the job

My first thought was Nigel farage? personally I couldn’t but I wouldn’t disown a friend if they did

I can understand the friend's point of view, but I don't let politics rule my life. I'm in the US and Trump tore many many families and friendships apart. There's some family I don't talk to, but I also have a friend who is a Trumper and we don't let it get in the way. Especially since you aren't involved in the political aspect it shouldn't matter. Perhaps your friend will realize this and give it a chance. People really have been getting swept up in the politicization of everything lately, to the point we don't see each other as human anymore. You should definitely take the job, and hope your friend realizes she's OTT.

No, I think a lot of us found Russell Brand quite creepy from the outset. Even if everything he’s done is technically legal, every single one of knows (and has always known) that we wouldn’t want our daughters anywhere near him.

Completely arrogant of her. Do what you want. I have friends with different political views. She is basically saying she does not want to be friends with someone who has different political affiliations. I'd take it and I would stand up to her.

One word for your friend - “bye!”

She shouldn’t have told you and tried to influence your decision. However, she has every right to end any relationship she wants if it exceeds her personal boundaries. As a friend she can say she doesn’t like the person but shouldn’t have gone beyond that into the ultimatum. Then if you took the role, she could distance herself from you.

We all have boundaries. If my friend decided to work for Donald Trump, I’d distance myself. I have every right to.

I voted YANBU but then when I saw the name Tony Blair I thought "hmm yeah she's got a point"

Guess it very much depends on who it is.
Tommy Robinson would be another one. Farage too.