Friend has said she couldn’t be friends with me if I took the job

[lnterviewWoes]

I’ve been offered a really fascinating job that would involve a lot of travel and meeting lots of interesting people.

It involves working for a former politician. Not directly but closely. I don’t support most of their views but the role is independent of their politics.

I have a small group of close friends. I told one friend and she’s said she couldn’t be friends with me if I took it, which has really dampened things. It also comes with a 20% wage increase. I want to take the role but I don’t want to lose one of my oldest friends. I’m really not sure what to do.

There will be a world of difference between working as a politician’s spad versus doing something like a comms role in the Tony Blair foundation. If it is something like the latter then obviously just ignore her. If it is the former then there would be some individuals that might raise an eyebrow but the vast majority shouldn’t.

Matt Hancock I reckon. Friend prob annoyed due to the covid debacle.

Surely any fully grown intelligent adult is able to always move past the politics.

It’s really weird how entrenched some people have become, I have friends of all political colours, and it never ever gets in the way of a good friendship. Healthy respect for difference is the very corner stone of any civilised country.

I know you're very unlikely to tell us who the employer is but it makes a big difference to my answer anyway.

I don't think you should turn down a job because a friend told you to but I would think about why. Are they really problematic and would you be compromising your own values by working for them.

She sounds jealous, don’t lose the job over her.

Agreed.

One of my very best friends has differing political views to me. We both know we vote for different parties.

Do we occasionally get in to a debate about things? Yes, but neither of us have vastly different views, despite the parties we vote for, so it doesn't turn bad.

She actually has quite a political job already but I wouldn't dream of shunning her because of it!

OP - whatever happens now, unfortunately, even if she does backtrack, it is likely to have tarnished your friendship.

It sounds a wonderful job opportunity and you'd be mad to turn it down.

@WimbyAce Matt Hancock was my first thought as well. I can’t think of any other politician who provokes such strong feelings in some people.

I find it interesting that very few people are prepared to address the "what if your friend was working for a person/organization you find morally repugnant" question. Much easier to shout "She's jealous!" rather than "She has a moral compass!"

Much easier to shout "She's jealous!" rather than "She has a moral compass!"

The chances of this being about her moral compass are very slim, considering she can't even be bothered to educate herself enough to vote.

its a principal i believe strongly in.

I believe it should be "I'm not going to do that because its against MY beliefs" not "YOU shouldn't do that because its against my beliefs"

Where you work is none of your friends' business

However, I could not be friends with someone who worked for the BNP, for example, or for someone like Russell Brand

I wouldn't say anything, I'd just phase them out altogether

That friend is no friend of yours.

She's not your friend.

You'll just take a different friend on the 'take a friend to work' day.

Apart from that doesn't happen, so it doesn't impact your friend in any way at all. Ignore.

I disagree. Surely shared beliefs are key in all but the most superficial relationships. Nobody is obligated to maintain any friendship or tolerate anything they fundamentally disagree with.

Oh come on! Don't you think that supporters of Jacob Rees Mogg aren't negative about members of the Labour Party. I can't imagine they'd be taking a job with Jeremy Corbyn any time soon.

As for the OP, of course your friend is being unreasonable. You don't have to agree with someone's politics to work for them. If that were true, hardly anyone would have a job!

The Blair Institute?

If she's really a friend she'll almost certainly get over it. Congratulations on the job, I hope it goes well.

But she's not sharing the same beliefs as Boris Johnson. And it's not a political role.

Many of us work for morally repugnant people. Unfortunately, it is the way of the world. Most morally repugnant bosses aren’t well known enough to cause friendship issues though.

This isn’t your problem. It’s hers.

Depends. I’m centre left but I’ve worked closely with conservative cabinet members in local government and tbh most of them were decent people, so if it was a politician like John Major or Michael Portillo then I’d go for it - I don’t agree with a lot of what they say, but ultimately I don’t think they’re awful human beings. Broadly speaking, my moral values are close enough to theirs. If it was someone whose values were completely at odds with mine - people like Farage or Johnson, then I wouldn’t, because I would find them kind of disgusting. That said, what your friend thinks should have no bearing on whether you take the job and she shouldn’t have said that.

I presume it’s the Tony Blair Foundation? They do excellent work. I’d definitely 100% take the job.

Could she be jealous?

Is she keen that you don’t don’t succeed?

Is it Farage?

No friend would try to control you like this.

If you want to take the job, just do it.