Friend has said she couldn’t be friends with me if I took the job

[lnterviewWoes]

I’ve been offered a really fascinating job that would involve a lot of travel and meeting lots of interesting people.

It involves working for a former politician. Not directly but closely. I don’t support most of their views but the role is independent of their politics.

I have a small group of close friends. I told one friend and she’s said she couldn’t be friends with me if I took it, which has really dampened things. It also comes with a 20% wage increase. I want to take the role but I don’t want to lose one of my oldest friends. I’m really not sure what to do.

She is not the boss of you.

THIS

She's willing to lose one of her oldest friends because of something that will not affect her in any way, so you shouldn't be concerned about potentially losing one of yours in order to improve your career. Chances are it's all hyperbole anyway.

I can understand her view too . I could not respect someone who worked with some politicians as they are so opposite what I believe . I also could never work for them as morally I wouldn’t be able too , so I kind of see where she is coming from

It’s hard to believe this could really be about this friend’s principles when she couldn’t even be bothered to vote in the referendum. That would lose her any moral high ground IMO.

Otherwise, I could see where she was coming from. Depending on who the politician in question is, of course.

I think I would lose some respect for a friend/family member who chose to work for Farage/Johnson, for example.

Let me guess… friend is left wing. They are always so intolerant of other opinions. Never seem to get these attitudes the other way round. I’d say bye friend.

That’s one of the silliest things I’ve read on here, and I’m including hose threads where people admit to believing unicorns were real until the age of 35.

Oh, I don't know. There's an awful lot of intolerant right-wingers who turn up on social media, not excluding MN. Plus a hefty proportion of centrists and right wing types who can't stand the likes of Farage, Johnson and Braverman.

It's funny that people are saying the friend is intolerant for having concerns about the OP's employer, but it's fine for the OP to dump the friend without listening to her point of view!

True friends support you, not dictate. Time to say bye and find another friend. I feel the pain in losing them though, it'll be hard. Good luck.

A friend doesn’t behave like that, get rid and take the job. Friend is jealous!

Yes, I wouldn’t be friends with people like that. I can’t. It makes me feel sick. I’m sure they will find lots of other friends though, and anyone who knows me knows how I feel about it so it wouldn’t come up. It’s tricky in my country, we don’t have opposing politicians because it’s an autocracy. But in the UK? It’s amazing what they put up with with the NHS and the schools and everything. Somethings gone wrong.

A conditional friend doesn't sound like a friend at all. It's a shame but seems like you know what to do....

Take the job you already lost the friend the minute they tried to control you.

People can be friends even with different political opinions. I would just say fine then and take the job.

Fuck your”friend”
You know the answer.
Take the job.
Why are you allowing her to threaten you with her “friendship “
You are not in the playground now.
Grow up. Tell her it’s her problem. Not yours.
Take the job.

That’s true but only up to a point , honestly if my bff told me she was going to be working for Nigel farage or similar I wouldn’t give her a ultimatum but I would step away from out friendship . Some values are core values , that as a person I cannot support , Racism , xenophobia, homophobia are pretty big ones .

‘It’s not Nigel Farage is it? If not then what exactly do they have a problem with? Assume they’re one of these sanctimonious left wingers who hate anyone who does not meet their purity standards?

And before anyone jumps on me- no I’m not a right wing nutter - I just hate the new breed of illiberal progressives who think everyone they don’t agree with is Hitler.’

Absolutely this. I see ‘f off tories’ or ‘swipe left if you are a Tory’ on so many dating site profiles. I am not even a Tory but I swipe left on these profiles. Sanctimonious and I don’t want to be afraid of having my own opinion, which will almost definitely be wrong.

@Casperroonie "A conditional friend doesn't sound like a friend at all. It's a shame but seems like you know what to do...."
So you would support your friend whatever she did? Is there anything that would make you pause?

You’d not be wrong to accept the job but equally neither is your friend for standing by her morals.

Personally i’d be giving my friend serious side eye for having questionable political views but that doesn’t mean we all have to agree. But the basis of any friendship is that you share similar values. And if we don’t align, I’m afraid it’s pretty hard for me personally to see beyond it. I distanced myself from a close friend after they fell into the whole liver cleansing, 5G, Covid, anti-vaxer conspiracy theory hell hole!

It’s posts like these that makes me laugh that there’s some idea that Mn is generally left wing. Mn is classically Tory lower-middle.

@Wolfricbriandumbledore
It’s posts like these that makes me laugh that there’s some idea that Mn is generally left wing. Mn is classically Tory"

Absolutely. And bizarrely anti feminist for a place largely populated by women too!

I’ve voted Labour all my life.
To fair, I’ve been shocked in recent years at the misogyny coming from the left.

Very true but the question was about the job nothing else.