Friend has said she couldn’t be friends with me if I took the job

[lnterviewWoes]

I’ve been offered a really fascinating job that would involve a lot of travel and meeting lots of interesting people.

It involves working for a former politician. Not directly but closely. I don’t support most of their views but the role is independent of their politics.

I have a small group of close friends. I told one friend and she’s said she couldn’t be friends with me if I took it, which has really dampened things. It also comes with a 20% wage increase. I want to take the role but I don’t want to lose one of my oldest friends. I’m really not sure what to do.

I would really struggle to work with someone like Johnson, Farrage or Cameron and would lose respect for someone who could but I would
keep my feelings to myself if a friend did. It's strange to give such an ultimatum.

You haven't said but I am wondering have you both shared a strong interest in politics or their agendas and had some level of distain towards that particular politican. If she feels strongly enough about them she could feel deceived and betrayed now that you'll be working alongside them.
I obviously don't know alot about your relationship but maybe that's why she reacted that way. Either way I hope you get to keep you friend and do the work you want to do.

I thought the same thing 😂

My initial thought was that if it’s Michael Portillo and you get to chill out riding around on train journeys all over the UK and Europe, then I’d do it 🤣🤣🤣

Follow your gut instinct on this one. It’s your life, do what’s right for you.

Sounds like shes envious, also not much of a friend, go for it.

I’m potentially with the friend. Not that I would say what she did, or in any way suggest you would lose my friendship if you took a job with X, but it would be an indication we had very different priorities, I would not be congratulating you on your job or asking about it, and it’s likely the friendship would drift.

Absolutely this!
You are there to do a job.
The friend is incredibly naive. Do they think you'd be unable to do your job without adopting the politicians views?

As they say politics and religion can rip friendships/families apart...If the MP was racist, misogynistic or held other nasty views I would probably be extremely disappointed with my friend's choice and maybe want to chat further about why she would feel comfortable working for that person. But at the end of the day it's your life and your choice to do whatever job you want AND she has the choice to not want to be friends with you if this makes her feel so strongly that she questions the person that you are.

Take the job… you won’t be allowed to discuss your role with anyone anyway!… so when asked about your job just give a basic description and say you can’t discuss.
sounds like jealousy to me too, you’re being given an opportunity and pay rise that she isn’t.

I think we need to differentiate between “people with unpleasant views”, “people who have done unpleasant things” and “people who have done things you could end up in The Hague for.”

Nigel Farage has some unpleasant views. As far as I’m aware he’s started no world wars on flimsy pretexts.

Who the fuck does she think she is?!?!

No decent friend would try to control another friend like this.

I'd take the job just to spite her tbh!

A true friend wouldn’t put you in this position!

She's not trying to control anyone though, is she? OP can take the job, friend can't control that. She's just saying what her boundaries for friendship are.

The jealousy excuse is tired.

On reflection I thought I’d add this, as a working woman (a community worker) with her head screwed ontI

I have always voted Labour. But now that I actively support Women’s spaces, sport, and safeguarding children, I get called a fascist. A Transphobe, when my own Uncle Transitioned!
As a result I have lost two very long friendships. I miss these Women, but hand on heart, I don’t regret speaking out.

My point here is I am still a leftie, but dismissed for voicing concerns, while your friend may have shifted on her beliefs as well which don’t align with yours.

This job looks like an amazing opportunity, I’d go for it.

Most posters on here have principles too - that friends do not have the right to police other people's opinions or their life.

Please do not ever let someone try to control you, black mail you or manipulate you as your friend is doing. Take the job.

there is only one over rider to this, and it is a big one. And that is if it is working for someone nefarious like former head of the BNP or similar then I’d also be the same. However I’d let you make your decision then I’d end the friendship quietly, I’d not influence it.

@MsRosley "Most posters on here have principles too - that friends do not have the right to police other people's opinions or their life."

No. But they do have the right to say "You are about to do something which is so far at odds with my moral compass that I will struggle see you in the same light and to remain friends with you."

This is a bit off topic, but re Blair - no, he’s not a war criminal. Several inquiries established that. And while he holds some responsibility ‘the blood of millions’ is absolutely not on his hands. America was having that war anyway and supplied over 90% of the men and hardware.
To be clear, the war was wrong and I campaigned against it at the time, but this narrative that it was all Blair’s fault is nonsense.

@Potiphar "And he’s still throwing his weight about despite not being an elected official anymore."

Unlike Johnson, Trump, Farage......

What a bitch. You don’t need friends like that in your life

@Potiphar no ex-politician alive has started a world war.

If it was someone that peddled hate towards my dad/family we are not as worthy in their eyes and this cases so much harm no I wouldn’t be able to continue the friendship

its not down to me to decided who other people draw the line with

I've done jobs where I personally disagree with the politics involved. That was tricky, my friends view would have no bearing on my decision. Good luck with the role, I anticipate it will be a great experience.

I don't think he needs any help in that department 😅

It's a shame that people nowerdays aren't able to be friends with people with different views and opinions to them. I wouldn't want to be friends with someone so small minded and controlling.