Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Friend has said she couldn’t be friends with me if I took the job

513 replies

lnterviewWoes · 21/09/2023 16:30

I’ve been offered a really fascinating job that would involve a lot of travel and meeting lots of interesting people.

It involves working for a former politician. Not directly but closely. I don’t support most of their views but the role is independent of their politics.

I have a small group of close friends. I told one friend and she’s said she couldn’t be friends with me if I took it, which has really dampened things. It also comes with a 20% wage increase. I want to take the role but I don’t want to lose one of my oldest friends. I’m really not sure what to do.

OP posts:
CurlewKate · 22/09/2023 08:55

So-what would a friend have to do for you to decide you couldn't be their friend any more?

SoSad44 · 22/09/2023 09:05

Bev41 · 21/09/2023 19:54

Congrats on the job offer

My guess is the job is with the Tony Blair Institute. I couldn't work for them.

Frankly I would judge you working for them and any future employer is going to form an opinion of you because his name is on your cv. Some may like it but I suspect many will not. You will be eliminated unfairly as a result.

Your friend is still horrible for her attitude

Couldn’t agree more.
OP have you done any research on the TBI and what they do?? Not just their own website!

CurlewKate · 22/09/2023 09:46

Is the TBI really the worst possible organisation people can think of? Even if they think really, really hard?

mumsthewording · 22/09/2023 10:14

I saw this and winced "I don’t support most of their views but the role is independent of their politics". I would really question if any role for a former politician can ever be independent of their politics, despite what HR or the JD or interviewer promises. They never really stop being a politician after they retire, so you should fully expect to have to, at some point, toe their ideological line, if you work for them or at least nod along. If you don't agree with their politics, ask yourself if a 20% wage rise is worth having to mouth their politics at work. I know your friends sound like assholes now, but they may be trying to get you to see the moral truth of the situation, like friends warning someone not to marry an abusive partner.

Crapsummer2023 · 22/09/2023 12:38

Notpooryet · 21/09/2023 19:44

One born every minute.

Show quote history

Haha that’s what I thought too!

Kimten · 22/09/2023 12:43

She's not your friend.
Take the job. It's a job, not indentured servitude.

SoSad44 · 22/09/2023 13:12

CurlewKate · 22/09/2023 09:46

Is the TBI really the worst possible organisation people can think of? Even if they think really, really hard?

Does it have to be a race to the bottom?

godmum56 · 22/09/2023 17:47

tell her to do one

Kentucky83 · 22/09/2023 18:00

Redshoeblueshoe · 21/09/2023 16:36

Does it include a lot of train travel ? If so I'd take it

Agreed! And if it's the person we're thinking of then no politics at all, just loads of culture.

Ilovecleaning · 22/09/2023 18:01

What a load of crap! Is she jealous?

CurlewKate · 22/09/2023 18:13

Why are people finding it impossible to believe that this friend might have principles?

The jealousy thing is so tedious. It's what people tell bullied children. "Oh, she only does it because she's jealous." It's comforting bollocks!

LateMumma · 22/09/2023 18:14

How do you come back from this if you don't take the job? Nothing to lose by taking it. No one should have that level of control over your decisions. Good luck in your new role OP

whittingtonmum · 22/09/2023 18:16

Take the job. I am sure if some of my friends started to work for some politician I detest (Trump, Farrage and many other assorted idiots) I could not ever look at them the same way again but that's on me - not on my friends. Why should they sacrifice their career for my politics? Take the job.

Judecb · 22/09/2023 18:20

Definitely take the job!! I'm sure your friend will come round, but if she doesn't that's not a friendship worth keeping.

ensayers · 22/09/2023 18:23

Even if it was Nigel farage, working for him doesn't mean that you are him. I'm sure there are numerous staff that work for right wing politicians that vote left, and vica versa

riceuten · 22/09/2023 18:30

Without knowing who this is, it’s hard to say. If it was someone like Nigel Farage or someone of that ilk, I’d say they were perfectly justified - you wouldn’t work for someone like that without sharing some of their political views.

A former wet Tory politician perhaps less so.

ScotsBluebell · 22/09/2023 18:35

Take the job. No real friend would give you this kind of ultimatum. She sounds jealous to me.

Pepsi2001 · 22/09/2023 18:36

She's jealous and controlling get her out your life!

swettymutha · 22/09/2023 18:48

If it’s Farage or Johnson, or similar then I’m sorry I’d be with your friend. Sometimes morals come before money. And of course it’s not jealously, she probably feels as angry about I do about the state of this country if my assumptions are correct about which side this former politician was on.

onedogatoddlerandababy · 22/09/2023 18:53

All these comments saying ‘absolutely unacceptable unless it’s working for someone like Tommy Robinson/Garage’ so in that situation the friend is right?

I would take a dim view if I knew someone for many years and thought we had similar political outlook but they then went and worked for half of the recent cabinet. I think untold damage has been done by our government, and as always, the poorest suffer the hardest. So yeah, if you told me you were working for Priti Patel and your foreign travel involved trips to Rwanda, I’d be reevaluating our friendship.

CurlewKate · 22/09/2023 18:57

@onedogatoddlerandababy I agree. I think there might be another 3 of us on this thread!

CurlewKate · 22/09/2023 18:59

@onedogatoddlerandababy Bizarrely- the Tony Blair Institute is a hard no for some. Worse than Farage.

Tessabelle74 · 22/09/2023 19:14

They're not your friend if they can give you ultimatums like that. I'd take the job and wave goodbye to her as you jet off in your adventures!

LittleObe · 22/09/2023 19:19

Friends don't put rules on your life. She's already gone.

Ryeman · 22/09/2023 19:23

Rabbitbrain · 21/09/2023 16:35

Even if the job was political, there is no justification for cutting you off unless it’s someone like Tommy Robinson. It’s a terrible thing for democracy if we can’t tolerate alternative mainstream views.

My brain read that as Tony Robinson and I thought well yes he’s pretty left wing but that’s a bit harsh 😅