Friend has said she couldn’t be friends with me if I took the job

[lnterviewWoes]

I’ve been offered a really fascinating job that would involve a lot of travel and meeting lots of interesting people.

It involves working for a former politician. Not directly but closely. I don’t support most of their views but the role is independent of their politics.

I have a small group of close friends. I told one friend and she’s said she couldn’t be friends with me if I took it, which has really dampened things. It also comes with a 20% wage increase. I want to take the role but I don’t want to lose one of my oldest friends. I’m really not sure what to do.

Take the job and ditch the “friend”

If it’s Tony then I absolutely get her sentiments. I wouldn’t directly say it to a friend - but I’d think very, very differently of any friends who worked on anyway with that man.

Take the job and dump the friend.

The civil service stopped being neutral a very long time ago.

I think they have always thought some of the political class to be knobs of the highest order, regardless of the colour of their rossette, but that's probably because its true, so in many ways they are neutral in that they hate inadequate politicians of all ilks

@lnterviewWoes take the job, surely if they were a true friend they would want the best for you, rather than them trying to impose their political perspectives on your actions ?

Do you really need to ask? Ditch your "friend", she doesn't know the meaning of the word.

well the country got the vote, and it seems are the leave happy ?

Take the job. That “friend” can move on to manipulate other people’s lives.

if its Boris' new hairdresser role, take it - that man needs a new one

honestly your friend is being dramatic

I would just take the job, if that's what you want. Your morals, your choice.

If I were in your friend's shoes I wouldn't have said anything. I have several friends whose politics is very different from mine. However, if the job were with Farage or someone like him, I would cool the friendship. That would be my decision. I wouldn't hold it over you as some kind of threat beforehand. That is, after all, pointless. You're either the kind of person who would consider a role with him, or you're not, regardless of the way I respond to you.

Take the job, ditch the friend
friendships should not be conditional

😂

I'm surprised at the people saying they'd stand by a friend to do any role for any company. Being discerning about who pays your bills is hardly a novel concept. I remember my dad telling me 40+ years ago that you always needed to know who you worked for and what they did, because you should feel happy about where your money came from.

You obviously do feel happy with it though and that's the bit that really counts. Without knowing who or what is impossible to say whether your mate's got a point or not

She isn't a friend.

Well we did vote and that's it ... for now.

Wow, 'battlefield AI'. So that's what all the drone hell I've been seeing in Ukraine is called, and what super powers are rushing towards to develop. I didn't know that's what it's called - just looked up about it.

That really is a moral dilemma regarding your friend

Friendships don't come with strings. They're not your friend. Is she usually this dominating?

Good luck in your new job.

More proactive than tweets and shouting at the telly during Question Time, for sure!

Unless you are joining Vladimir Putin’s PR team, your friend is being a big baby.

My friends include a Conservative peer, a very far left (and vocal) academic, a director of a centre left thinktak and an MP and her husband. My BIL coordinated a candidate’s campaign for the Conservative leadership. My much loved FIL was a Conservative peer.

If I’d cut any one of these people off because I didn’t agree with their political views ( or if they cut me off,) my life would be less interesting, I’d have fewer friends and family. In short, I would be a childish pillock. What’s wrong with some people?!

Take the job. She is trying to control/manipulate your feelings. She might go silent/ get passive aggressive but ignore.

Take the job. Friends come and go

My friend was a trump supporter/voter for a while (even though she is of mexican descent 🤐 ). I carefully explained the reasons he was awful, we left it at that and continued our friendship. She has now realised I was right and is back to her usual democrat voting self and isn't sure why she ever liked Trump. Sidelining people whom we disagree with just breeds extremism.

Well yes. It is upsetting to find out that your 'friend' is a prat

"Sidelining people whom we disagree with just breeds extremism" Nail On The Head! Unfortunately whatever you do I think an ultimatum of this sort will have ruined your friendship. Even if you didn't take the job I don't think your friendship would ever be the same, now that you see that it is conditional. Also surprised at the number of posters who would dump a friend over political views - very sad.

Would need more information. Are we talking slightly more to the right or left of your friends political stance (unreasonable) or some kind of antisemitic nut job ?