To think this might be contributing to my difficulty finding a partner

[healthgal]

I'm 35 and in a professional job, own a home, reasonably attractive, slim, and a friendly sort of person.

But despite looking and dating for 15 years, I've never found a relationship which has lasted more than a few months.

I was discussing with a friend last night and she suggested that one aspect of my lifestyle could be quite off-putting to potential men, and I'm wondering if this could be part of the reason.

I deeply believe in and follow certain lifestyle measures which I believe (and evidence shows) is beneficial to my health. Such habits include;

• fasting such that I only eat lunch and dinner
• avoiding all ultra processed food, which means cooking my own largely plant based food (although am not vegan)
• drinking apple cider vinegar before each meal
• only drinking water and black coffee really

I have no intention of changing these habits as evidence shows them to be hugely beneficial to health. For special occasions like weddings etc I will be flexible, but I'm never going to be someone who goes for a KFC etc.

I obviously couldn't dictate that a future partner followed the same ethos as me, but subconsciously probably wouldn't pursue someone who wasn't at least semi health focused.

But it's got me thinking, is my lifestyle extremist? And is it putting potential suitors off?

There is a middle ground between no UPF & KFC every night for dinner

Inflexibility, obsession, rigidness are not attractive regardless what the topic is.

Macdee, KFC, and takeaways don't make someone interesting

I can try!

I only drink coffee til 1pm apart from a glug of apple cider vinegar and obviously drink water, don’t think this is that odd to be honest now. I also try to eat healthy generally but I will enjoy a nice meal with company and a glass of alcohol or two occasionally. It’s all about balance. The more you preach about it the more unattractive you are to people that don’t think exactly the same as you and that’s probably where the problem lies.

For those who aren’t at all health conscious however I can imagine they might think us odd!

Eating more than 2 meals everyday, not drinking ACV before every meal, not avoiding all UPFs, & drinking alcohol doesn't mean you are not health conscious though?

I know! Why are they the only 2 options?

For those who aren’t at all health conscious however I can imagine they might think us odd!

But there's being health conscious and there's refusing to ever go out for a meal or eat before 1pm because it would be "bad".

I came from a very health-conscious family. My mum follows the fasting diet but she will move her "window" around to fit her schedule. My dad is a vegetarian and won't eat any UPF foods at home, but he'll still go out for meals in restaurants, eat homemade cake and have poached eggs or something if we go out for breakfast.

You can be health conscious without being rigid and restrictive.

@Fififafa there's a lot of orthorexia on here

If I’m being honest, it does all sound a bit joyless and rigid. Actually, it sounds a bit orthorexic. We had this with the whole ‘clean eating’ cult a few years ago, didn’t we?

I eat a very healthy diet, but I’m not sure I could hack never sharing breakfast in bed, the pouring over menus for traces of forbidden foods, and never enjoying gorgeous wine with a meal. I adore exploring new foods cultures.

You are going to find that many family cultures you might marry into are not compatible with such inflexibility. If I brought you home to my Provençal mother, you would be subject to pointed interrogation of your strange English habits followed by decades of awkward suppers.

And the southern French aren’t exactly famous for their shit diets or food culture.

I am not sure what my Jewish mother in law would say if you turned up your nose to something she’d cooked for Shabbat have use it contained a forbidden stock cube. It might be a rare case of her being stunned into silence.

Both DH and I were taught to accept hospitality and different food cultures with grace and an open mind.

On the plus side, with your current approach to food, even if you diet doesn’t allow you to live to 132, it’ll sure as hell feel that long.

I’ve just said the same in a post. Sounds like the whole ‘clean eating’ money spinning cult in another mask.

Depends how much you would comment on others choices or even criticise or bang on about your own- which whilst a bit rigid are indeed healthy.

On the plus side, with your current approach to food, even if you diet doesn’t allow you to live to 132, it’ll sure as hell feel that long.

😆

That’s very odd. It’s clearly not whay the answers before you said. In fact it was the opposite. But you decided it was what you wish it to be

i wonder if you’re looking for a reason uou can’t sustain a relationship and this one is the least painful for you?

I don't know, but I do know that having been on a dating site recently, I scroll past anyone that says they go to the gym regularly! It's a 'me thing' obviously.

For her to have suggested it being an issue, do you perhaps talk about it a lot? Because that would indeed do my head in.

What exactly is your fear if you be a bit flexible about the food? Like once a week breakfast with partner?

Are you afraid you will get a major illness if you once a week break one rule regarding eating?

About evidence based results, there are plenty of people living long and healthy lives especially in areas like Mediterranean, Japan while also enjoying going out with friends, families without adopting such strict rules to eating.

Also, your comparison between you breaking a rule to a vegan eating meat once a week is not valid.
Many vegans are vegans becuase they see animals as sentient beings, just another specie like human beings, they would not eat animal flesh.

But it's the OP who started thread about not able to have longer relationship than a few months, so how it is relevant to the thread if society is resistant to change.

Ah ok apols I missed that. I did say in a previous post that I would personally be more flexible for sociability’s sake. And I still disagree with your argument that it is easy to avoid UPFs when eating out, unless ‘fine dining’ (awful term).

I am a woman but it wouldn’t bother me if a potential partner followed this diet. I would actually be impressed. I don’t really see why food needs to be so central to a relationship reading everyone else’s answers. So long as you have hobbies and interests and morals in common, who cares about what you eat!

It would put me off.

Skipping breakfast isn't really fasting so stop calling it that for a start. I don't eat breakfast but happily go out for a breakfast at weekends occasionally. Someone who firmly never ate breakfast as they fasted until lunch EVERY SINGLE DAY would just put me right off. I admire your health routines but they're bordering ocd if you never lighten up

About evidence based results, there are plenty of people living long and healthy lives especially in areas like Mediterranean, Japan while also enjoying going out with friends, families without adopting such strict rules to eating.

these cultures famously cook from scratch using very few UPFs @Ilikeicecream.

OP - AIBU

Everyone - what you do is generally healthy but maybe you could just chill out every now and then? Your rigidity is probably unreasonable.

OP - I'm right, you're wrong.

these cultures famously cook from scratch using very few UPFs

cooking from scratch doesn't eliminate all UPFS though

There's been quite a lot of personal attacks on me based on presumptions and extrapolations about me which is just totally unnecessary, but I've been on mumsnet long enough to know that people are keyboard warriors who are mean for the sake of it sometimes on here.

well this explains a lot..