To display a boudoir photograph with a child in the home?

[Notgoingononlyfansyet]

I ‘won’ one of those boudoir shoots and bought some pictures. It was just a bit of a fun, but the pictures are AMAZING. They honestly make me feel capable of anything and really brought home to me that everyday me isn’t all I can be. That with a little extra expertise and resource I can do something very, very different. It’s such a great concept to get my head around and apply in general. (Also, I look smoking hot and who doesn’t love that?!)

I really want to display some of the pictures. They aren’t tacky or sleazy. I’m wearing more that I was on the beach last month. Full Bra, brazillian pants, and a jacket in some shots. No stockings, thongs or bondage type undies. No handcuffs, but some hobby props (a hat and a book. Some pearls) She sees me naked all the time (but I respect her privacy however she prefers and I don’t brazenly wander about naked. We have dogs that open doors, it’s unavoidable, not deliberate or overtly liberal. She locks the bathroom, but will happily yell for me to get her a towel etc. All no big deal in an all girl household) But the pics are overtly sensual. I don’t have a partner and her father is permanently out of the picture for over than a decade. I do sometimes date and she knows about that in age appropriate detail.

My biggest concern is that she will connect it with my dating (which is fairly new and not unconnected in that both are because I feel more sexy than I have for years) but it’s not that dating leads to needing to change to be attractive for dates. It’s feeling more attractive and exploring that through dating AND how I present myself now I have a bit more freedom from lone parenting. How much do I share?! Is it creepy? Is it tacky, even though the pic itself isn’t? Or is it empowering and celebrating myself? (I could have one without my face in and make put it’s not me, but that seems even weirder!)

I’m not going to hang it in the sitting room, but she’ll see it often in my room. So will her friends as they come in and out of her room, because the only blank wall faces the door and our dogs open the door. We’ll have to have at least a chat about not telling my mother/all the neighbours/the greengrocer’s cat about it, what to say to her friends and not to let them photograph it! I just don’t think she’ll get it. I wouldn’t have got it at her age. (I wouldn’t have got it 12 months ago!). Is it unreasonable to expect her to get it with the right framing or should I wait? Until
when?!

All views welcome, but be polite! (Apologies for length, I’m thinking out loud)

Ask yourself if as a child, would you have wanted to see sexy pictures of your mum displayed around your home? I get that it's empowering for you, I've done something similar, so I really do get it, but keep it private in an album. Displaying them will be tacky.

@SurprisedWithAHorse the only thing people were shocked by was the fact OP had to ask the question in the first place.

I didn't like the fact she didn't big up the other women's photos.

OP also confused the hell out of me by saying she didn't want anyone to know about it but then kept going on about hanging it up where her Daughter & friends could see it.

It's just a massive drama.

Yes posters have said they aren't natural same as using filters on your phone which is true. I don't think the woman in the dressing gown looks anything like her after photo.

It doesn't mean anyone is offended.

This!

Lordy, this is mad. Anyone who tries to claim that the thread has been focused overwhelmingly simply on the question of how to display the photos is so obviously lying that I can't take them seriously. There's literally 28 pages of nastiness that has nothing to do with how to store the pictures.

And after 28 pages of attacks about the shoot, you think OP is the baddie because she didn't much like the boudoir shots she saw previously? That's risible.

The fact that you can't recognise someone after she's had pretty normal studio photography makeup done and don't like filters is really neither here nor there. Don't like boudoir photos, don't do them. I don't know why that's not enough for so many people.

That was not normal make-up. To be fair though I thought it was an old photo from the 80's.

the only thing people were shocked by was the fact OP had to ask the question in the first place.

Disagree @PaulaZackMayo

The majority of people used the OPs question to be rude, vile, accusatory and condescending about her decision to have a boudoir shoot. The amount of posters pulling her down and telling her she wasn't feeling what she felt from those photos.

Horrible behaviour. How dare they.

I laughed at the poster who insisted she knew what my photos looked like without ever seeing them. She couldn't back down, continued being extremely rude and shouty at me and another poster.

The OPs question was about the appropriateness of display, not the decision to enjoy the shoot. But the dear old MN twin-set brigade couldn't address the question. Oh no. They had to pull the OP down instead. 😔

No, it was studio makeup. So what? I thought your concern was about storing the pics?

I don’t support the rude ones, effectively criticising your looks. Those comments are disgusting.

My issue is the embarrassment for your teen. That’s all.

I am most definitely not ‘jealous’ of a boudoir shoot though.

This big drama could have been prevented by OP getting a lock for her bedroom door. She could then have put all the photos up for her to enjoy without the worry that her Daughter and friends would see them.

I think the biggest issue is her friends seeing it. If you like the pics that much, maybe get the photographer to do a clothed shoot with you!

It’s a little odd that someone who has bought and renovated a house single-handedly can’t work out how to have doors that stay shut… 🤷🏼‍♀️

I'm not concerned about anything. You can't police what people type. I thought the women was beautiful. I also genuinely thought it was an old picture as the make up wasn't modern.

I'm not concerned about anything.

Well that's patently not true, is it?

You can't police what people type.

I can point out that you've gone on and on and on about point A while claiming that you care only about point B.

I also genuinely thought it was an old picture as the make up wasn't modern.

So?

"Empowering" to be photographed in your underwear.

PMSL.

Someone upthread said that their friend had "even" done "some portfolio shoots for lingerie models". Whoop whoop, what an achievement for him.

Put one inside your wardrobe door in your bedroom , perhaps? So then everytime you go to put on your clothes you'll be reminded of how sexy you can be but then you don't have to worry about dd /child /their friends seeing it...

😂

Well I'm certainly not going lose any sleep about any of it.

Mate, I think you're the one who is wound up.

I’m a lawyer so I cannot avoid taking this angle but surely OP ought to be concerned about the possible legal consequences of having her daughter ( and her daughter’s friends) see these photos.

I’m no expert in child law but IF it’s true that to cause a child to see sexual images is part of the definition of child sexual abuse, it’s an absolute no -Brainer NOT to display the images.

Op and some PPs might not like the law as it currently stands ( or they might be ignorant of it) but that matters not a jot. IF the law does provide that, as other apps have said, the other arguments about feminism, make up, self esteem etc do not even come in to it.

I confess that my first instinct to OP’s post was just around how tacky and weird boudiour photos are. But surely if there is a legal angle, she is being reckless not to take account of that.

"They aren’t tacky or sleazy. I’m wearing more that I was on the beach last month. Full Bra, brazillian pants, and a jacket in some shots. No stockings, thongs or bondage type undies. No handcuffs, but some hobby props (a hat and a book. Some pearls)"

From the OP's post.

I don't think she's going to get into trouble for her kid or others seeing those, unless you want to start prosecuting every pin up calendar or advert of women in their undies.

This is honestly the best suggestion on here. Get some photos done of you that have you looking amazing, that you can plaster all over the house, and have people see them. Where you can see them every single day and get a boost.

I mean, what a waste of time / money / effort - if the photos are so private you can’t even look at them yourself (as you seemed to suggest upthread when you changed your position), let alone put them up to enjoy them.

You don’t have to just be in a cowboy hat and undies - there are other options….?

Problem solved. 🤷🏻‍♀️

yeah i wouldnt display them where my dc's could see and especially not their friends... they would never live it down. imagine when they fall out all the nasty comments they could throw at your dd. if someone elses child saw photo's like that of me i would feel like a pervert and if my dc's saw pictures of their friends mum like that i think i'd be annoyed..... sorry OP

You also think that 28 pages of abuse about a boudoir shoot don't constitute people taking offence at it.

Go to bed.

("Mate"?)

@Notgoingononlyfansyet you don't need to display it, keep it in an album. Hopefully I'm not the first to suggest that.

I’m obviously late to the party here but I think this is just weird. I’ve no issue with you feeling empowered op but sexual photos (you said sensual but underwear shots are definitely in the sexual category) displayed in a family home would be all manner of weird. Plus I’m really not sure of the messaging it gives to a young girl about a woman’s role in life, however empowered it may make you feel. It really doesn’t smack of empowerment at all from the outside.

i scrub up pretty well. But having had my girls I am very aware that this is ‘their’ time. I wouldn’t want anything I do or how I present to be construed as competing or trying to compete with their natural youthful beautiful gorgeousness. There is simply no contest, nor should there be the slightest inkling that there is. I worry that as well as wrong messaging to your daughter, it might also create some sort of weird comparison, in either direction actually.

no good can come of this op. Put the photos away and look in private if you must/need an ‘empowering’ boost.

Are you seriously suggesting that it would be illegal - child abuse, no less - to have lingerie shots on display in a private home?

How many arrests should we be making regarding bikini cover shots on magazines and calendars on public display in shops? Or in adverts?

And you claim to be a lawyer?

Go to bed! 😂

That's hilarious.

Can I finish watching my programme?

I'll just let the Husband know that I've just been sent to bed by @SurprisedWithAHorse on MUMSNET

😂