To display a boudoir photograph with a child in the home?

[Notgoingononlyfansyet]

I ‘won’ one of those boudoir shoots and bought some pictures. It was just a bit of a fun, but the pictures are AMAZING. They honestly make me feel capable of anything and really brought home to me that everyday me isn’t all I can be. That with a little extra expertise and resource I can do something very, very different. It’s such a great concept to get my head around and apply in general. (Also, I look smoking hot and who doesn’t love that?!)

I really want to display some of the pictures. They aren’t tacky or sleazy. I’m wearing more that I was on the beach last month. Full Bra, brazillian pants, and a jacket in some shots. No stockings, thongs or bondage type undies. No handcuffs, but some hobby props (a hat and a book. Some pearls) She sees me naked all the time (but I respect her privacy however she prefers and I don’t brazenly wander about naked. We have dogs that open doors, it’s unavoidable, not deliberate or overtly liberal. She locks the bathroom, but will happily yell for me to get her a towel etc. All no big deal in an all girl household) But the pics are overtly sensual. I don’t have a partner and her father is permanently out of the picture for over than a decade. I do sometimes date and she knows about that in age appropriate detail.

My biggest concern is that she will connect it with my dating (which is fairly new and not unconnected in that both are because I feel more sexy than I have for years) but it’s not that dating leads to needing to change to be attractive for dates. It’s feeling more attractive and exploring that through dating AND how I present myself now I have a bit more freedom from lone parenting. How much do I share?! Is it creepy? Is it tacky, even though the pic itself isn’t? Or is it empowering and celebrating myself? (I could have one without my face in and make put it’s not me, but that seems even weirder!)

I’m not going to hang it in the sitting room, but she’ll see it often in my room. So will her friends as they come in and out of her room, because the only blank wall faces the door and our dogs open the door. We’ll have to have at least a chat about not telling my mother/all the neighbours/the greengrocer’s cat about it, what to say to her friends and not to let them photograph it! I just don’t think she’ll get it. I wouldn’t have got it at her age. (I wouldn’t have got it 12 months ago!). Is it unreasonable to expect her to get it with the right framing or should I wait? Until
when?!

All views welcome, but be polite! (Apologies for length, I’m thinking out loud)

Omg-just seen the 3 photos-the last one looks like a Sam Fox picture from the Eighties. When it was normal to ask 16 year olds to get their tits out on Page 3. But the pose is the same-very dated.

I have a 13 year old at home. Why don’t you show HER the pictures and ask HER if she minded them going on the wall and where you should hang them. My 13 year would not hold back. (It would be a no - but that’s my child not yours.)

Speaking as a photographer- Put them up.

Teach your children it's OK to take pride in your body, to love and appreciate yourself, to be happy with how you look and to not hide themselves away. Teach them body autonomy and it's not an act to be sexualised, but to be appreciated as a woman.

All the nay-sayers are jealous and should Teach their kids to not take photographs and spread them without consent. It is not your problem that some kids have not been taught to respect a woman's body, so show them how to.

OMG, not even a little bit 😂😂😂

There must be fifteen years and four or five dress sizes between them.

I'm not certain at all. They have been shown to struggle with a lot of simple concepts and they really, really don't like women feeling good about themselves in a way that wouldn't work for them.

However, I wasn't talking to them. I was talking to someone who likes boudoir but doesn't like photos of herself. She might like a portrait or activity shoot and I think she'd find photographers to be keen.

All the nay-sayers are jealous

is this a parody post?

I think so @NatashaDancing!

Im really glad it has given you confidence 😁. Personally, i would have it in my bedroom where DD friends couldnt rib her about it. Also if it gave me confidence i wouldn't have to put on wall elsewhere other than somewhere i always am, the bedroom 🤣..not as interesting as that sounds xxx

marymungoNminge · 18/09/2023 23:08

Everyone who says they don't want to see it, do you cringe at women in bikinis? Around children on a beach?

Well first you’d expect to see swimwear on a beach, but a woman wandering up the high street in her undies would be expected or appropriate.
And op has said it’s ‘sensual’ and admits that she needs to warn her child about it and keep it a secret.
Therefore it’s inappropriate, embarrassing as hell for the DD and more than a bit cringy to feel the need to display oneself in scanty undies.
Just a big ‘no’ from me.

No 13 year old needs an image of their mother in underwear, a captain's hat and pearls burned into their retinas for life.

Well my kids couldn't agree with you more! 🤣. Maybe OP's daughter is considerably different, though 3 of mine are also ND so ND won't be the reason why she's different. Trust me they'd be horrified that I made them even look at the picture let alone hung it on a wall!!!

It's your home your choices. An alternative to putting it on the wall could be on an easel type stand or propped on a chair in the corner so not visible if door opened x

Where the hell could I put it where she won't see it?

In your underwear drawer, perhaps. Or in the bin.

I wouldn't.

Why did you not just get normal glamour shots with clothes on?

It's my bedroom. A room I can expect to be private, no? (Well, no, because the arrangement doesn't allow it not to be viewed from the door, but seeing as there lots of bedrooms out there, I think the general discussion can still go ahead)

I suppose that's the crux of it, OP.

You want privacy, but you share your home with your daughter.

Maybe you need a way to find something that is for you and you alone? A place that maybe isn't in the family home, even?

No. It is the OP's CHOICE to keep it PRIVATE. Your body may be a shameful secret. Mine is not. But it IS only for live-in family or lovers to see. Why is that so hard to understand? Or so unacceptable? Do you parade around in your favourite underwear? No? So is that 'secret underwear' or are you happy for you child to show your mother? Of course not, because it's private and you (and only you) can choose who sees it. AND THAT'S OK, whoever you choose.

I specifically do not want my mother to know because she has very poor form for respecting privacy. She totally would screenshot it, tell the whole bloody family, show my stepfather and all of her friends at her Spanish language class. She'd be proud and she'd love it. But I don't want that. Why is that not OK?

I don't want to 'display' it to anyone. I just want to see it. But my daughter lives here, too. She pinches my shoes, uses my shower, borrows my make up. And that's fine. But there's nowhere private for me to see it. I'm really sad that I'll never see the pictures. They'll have to go in a lock box, and I'll never get round to opening and it and looking at them. Who ever does? And even if I did, she could walk in any moment, then I'd be 'causing a minor to view sexual images'.

My friend has just had one done and I saw the results today. She is even buying one for her daughter when she is 18. She is currently a young teen.
I don't understand how anyone thinks it's cringy especially after I know how much it's made my friend feel amazing and the best she's felt in such a long time. It's helped her mental health no end.
If I did one I would absolutely not hide it away. They are not tacky, they are beautiful and surely we are in a time when we should celebrate this and I think the younger generation should get on board. Enough influences wear hardly any clothes, what's the difference!
So glad it's helped you feel sexy again!

I won a competition. And I didn't know women were so backward about sex, frankly.

Can you understand now why I asked MNHQ to pull my boudoir AMA thread @Notgoingononlyfansyet ? 🤣

Thank you again for making me go back and look at my shoot. I'd completely forgotten about it and I absolutely love the me-ness of me in all my confident and comfortable glory shining through each shot.

I hope you enjoy your shots for years to come too.

Well, there's the allotment shed, I suppose.

I have mine up but it’s in my bedroom where nobody really goes and no one else can see. My daughter is currently only 2, maybe as she grows this might change. But currently I’m happy having them there

I personally don’t see the issue with it as long as it’s displayed in your bedroom.

Do men ever get boudoir shots taken?