To display a boudoir photograph with a child in the home?

[Notgoingononlyfansyet]

I ‘won’ one of those boudoir shoots and bought some pictures. It was just a bit of a fun, but the pictures are AMAZING. They honestly make me feel capable of anything and really brought home to me that everyday me isn’t all I can be. That with a little extra expertise and resource I can do something very, very different. It’s such a great concept to get my head around and apply in general. (Also, I look smoking hot and who doesn’t love that?!)

I really want to display some of the pictures. They aren’t tacky or sleazy. I’m wearing more that I was on the beach last month. Full Bra, brazillian pants, and a jacket in some shots. No stockings, thongs or bondage type undies. No handcuffs, but some hobby props (a hat and a book. Some pearls) She sees me naked all the time (but I respect her privacy however she prefers and I don’t brazenly wander about naked. We have dogs that open doors, it’s unavoidable, not deliberate or overtly liberal. She locks the bathroom, but will happily yell for me to get her a towel etc. All no big deal in an all girl household) But the pics are overtly sensual. I don’t have a partner and her father is permanently out of the picture for over than a decade. I do sometimes date and she knows about that in age appropriate detail.

My biggest concern is that she will connect it with my dating (which is fairly new and not unconnected in that both are because I feel more sexy than I have for years) but it’s not that dating leads to needing to change to be attractive for dates. It’s feeling more attractive and exploring that through dating AND how I present myself now I have a bit more freedom from lone parenting. How much do I share?! Is it creepy? Is it tacky, even though the pic itself isn’t? Or is it empowering and celebrating myself? (I could have one without my face in and make put it’s not me, but that seems even weirder!)

I’m not going to hang it in the sitting room, but she’ll see it often in my room. So will her friends as they come in and out of her room, because the only blank wall faces the door and our dogs open the door. We’ll have to have at least a chat about not telling my mother/all the neighbours/the greengrocer’s cat about it, what to say to her friends and not to let them photograph it! I just don’t think she’ll get it. I wouldn’t have got it at her age. (I wouldn’t have got it 12 months ago!). Is it unreasonable to expect her to get it with the right framing or should I wait? Until
when?!

All views welcome, but be polite! (Apologies for length, I’m thinking out loud)

Again, I beg to differ, look up any place that does them and absolutely nobody looks like they do, they are literally unregonisable.

It's just to show a different side to usual. It's photography, not metamorphosis

It shows a side that does not exist. It beautifies a person into someone they would LIKE to look like. It is not reality, it's an illusion.

I can see they're the same people easily.

In addition, if the before pictures of those women were taken as they were off for a night out, rather than a fresh out of bed shot...

If they were standing in a more camera friendly way...

Then the difference between before and after would be minimal.

Why don't you show us your favourite wedding photo and your face as you've just got up? I think those two may be comparable to what you've posted.

You definitely wouldn't use the photos on a missing person's poster.

Well of course you beg to differ. You're so offended by the idea of a woman having pictures of herself that she likes that you're incapable of getting over it to understand anything further.

You don't need to post carefully selected photos to show that photography and styling can change someone's appearance. We know this. You're the one who can't seem to grasp what boudoir customers are paying for.

I've seen these shoots and at no point did I fail to recognise the women in them. They were stylised, sure, but despite what you want to think, and the particular examples you've just been frantically googling for, they didn't look like other people.

But the fact that it's not a representation of someone's school-run self - because it's not supposed to be - doesn't mean that there is nothing of themselves in it and they've basically morphed. You can't understand it as a form of self-expression because your offence won't let you think that far.

Your beef is basically that a woman might get some stylised, sexy shots that she likes that make her feel prettier than you think she has a right to feel. I know you'll deny this hotly, but it's what it all comes down to with your nasty posts about missing person posters and so on.

Get thee to Specsavers if you think any of those photo's don't look altered, enhanced, airbrushed etc. If they were standing in a more camera friendly way....ahhh are ya havin' a laugh.

I agree with you, SurprisedWithAHorse, the photo montage just above shows a woman with various looks; there are only three of her face but she looks the same woman in all three, albeit the last photo she is made up.

Perfectly recognisable to me.

They're all clearly the same people. They've just been glammed and styled. You always present your worst possible look everywhere, do you?

I think you might like some current TikTok trends. It's absolutely full of 14 year olds who have just discovered that makeup changes how you look and are astounded by it.

I actually can't tell the blonde woman in the dressing gown is the same person. I do think she is a beautiful lady in the before photo.

Actually they were the first 3 that came up when I googled, all from the same photographer. There are thousands on Google, all making women look completely different than they really are.
You have it wrong about me being offended by it. I stand my ground saying that the photo's do not look like the person because they have been altered to portray an enhanced, not real, fake photo that does not show their own beauty. The camera has altered that. You don't need pictures like this to feel pretty because they are not real so how can you honestly think they are empowering. They are anything but. Like putting a filter on your camera....not the real you at all.

The image posted at 11.35? You know that those are three different women?!

Yes, like I said, hot denial.

If these women took photos of themselves in the most unflattering angles and poses that made them look fatter or more wrinkled, you wouldn't be complaining at all about it not being "real" even if it was just as representative as a standard pic.

As it happens, all those women are recognisable in both pics. It's as much about the sexual side of themselves that they are expressing as the cold hard aesthetic. For some of them, it will be about the experience of posing in lingerie, in a safe environment, a record of the experience of feeling pretty and sexual.

But of course you won't understand that because your beef is that the pics might make them feel prettier than you think they are. You're complaining about the pics and how they make the women feel because you think were done for you. And they weren't.

They barely recognisable. that is hot denial. There are professional photos that you can get done that do not look like this. I don't think this empowers any woman or makes them feel prettier unless, they themselves, are in hot denial. I think it is incredibly sad actually. You can take all the sexy pics in the world, there is nothing wrong with that, all women should explore their sexual side but getting digitally enhanced photos done that do not look like you is fooling yourself. Feel sexy on your own terms without the camera actually lying to you. There are so may other real ways to explore your sexuality than aesthetic lies.

I can only tell younger blonde woman is the same person.

I think I tried to explain previously that's why I wouldn't want them doing of myself. I don't want to look different on photos, I want to look like me.

That's it exactly.

They are sexual pictures, so it’s not really appropriate to have them in sight of children or friends. You could make a nice album of them to keep in your bedroom that you could look at in private.

You can go on deliberately looking your worst everywhere you go if you like, as I'm so sure you do.

Wow!

I look alright mate 😂.

I'm definitely not offended by the boudoir photos.

@Notgoingononlyfansyet

This ^^ is the only post you need to read!!!

The post wasn't addressed to you.

However, in case it was misunderstood, I was not saying that poster always looks awful. I was sarcastically saying that I'm very sure she takes measures to improve her appearance sometimes. And probably in far more public places than a private studio.

I'm sure she'll have a reason as to why it's acceptable when she does it.

Was it to me? I presume it was. I do wear some makeup occasionally and try, most days to look acceptable. If I am going out to dinner or a night out I will make more of an effort and do a better job on my make up. BUT the people that see me don't have soft lens eyes or filter glasses so they will see me exactly as I am with the makeup on but I will look very much like myself.

This thread is not about the sexual politics of whether/how women choose to beautify themselves. It's not about pole dancing, or lingerie, or makeup, or any other bizarre turn it's taken.

It's about an adult woman wanting to put up a sexualised picture of her 'bad ass' self where her thirteen year old daughter will see it. Said adult woman has consistently shifted the goal posts, first enjoining her daughter to secrecy, then redefining the word secret. She is so enamoured of her own image that she has seriously tried to justify showing her daughter this 'smoking hot' picture of Mum by saying it will help her daughter develop a healthy sexuality. Said adult woman needs to get over herself. She doesn't understand that 'causing a child to look at sexual material' is one of the definitions of sexual abuse. Said adult woman needs to grow up. If it was a man doing this we'd all be calling him a perv. People have got angry on this thread not because the woman has had sexy pictures taken or thinks she's pretty, but because she is hell bent on behaving in a grotesque inappropriate manner to her own daughter.

And there's the acceptable reason for HER @SurprisedWithAHorse

(Apologies for the capitalisation of the random word...I just know that @toomuchforonewoman uses it, so may respond better)

@MaryLea most sensible and truthful post posted in a while.

I didn't understand half of the OP's ramblings and reasons she wanted the photo up instead of keeping it private for herself.

I could understand her sharing it with a partner but she didn't want anyone to see it but she wanted it up.

I'm so confused.

She also said the other women's photos weren't that great but hers were.

People are afraid to say that the OP is a narcissist. Because that's judgmental. But what's wrong with judging someone who wants to show sexy pictures to a child? This thread got sidetracked partly because the OP keeps blowing smoke about empowerment and helping her daughter develop healthy attitudes etc. We've all been gaslit. But of course people are angry with OP. That's not pearl clutching or puritanism - she's so obsessed with her own newly discovered sexual side and wants to show that side of herself to her daughter. How is that not a red flag? Again, imagine if a man had posted this.

That is so cringe dont do it.