To display a boudoir photograph with a child in the home?

[Notgoingononlyfansyet]

I ‘won’ one of those boudoir shoots and bought some pictures. It was just a bit of a fun, but the pictures are AMAZING. They honestly make me feel capable of anything and really brought home to me that everyday me isn’t all I can be. That with a little extra expertise and resource I can do something very, very different. It’s such a great concept to get my head around and apply in general. (Also, I look smoking hot and who doesn’t love that?!)

I really want to display some of the pictures. They aren’t tacky or sleazy. I’m wearing more that I was on the beach last month. Full Bra, brazillian pants, and a jacket in some shots. No stockings, thongs or bondage type undies. No handcuffs, but some hobby props (a hat and a book. Some pearls) She sees me naked all the time (but I respect her privacy however she prefers and I don’t brazenly wander about naked. We have dogs that open doors, it’s unavoidable, not deliberate or overtly liberal. She locks the bathroom, but will happily yell for me to get her a towel etc. All no big deal in an all girl household) But the pics are overtly sensual. I don’t have a partner and her father is permanently out of the picture for over than a decade. I do sometimes date and she knows about that in age appropriate detail.

My biggest concern is that she will connect it with my dating (which is fairly new and not unconnected in that both are because I feel more sexy than I have for years) but it’s not that dating leads to needing to change to be attractive for dates. It’s feeling more attractive and exploring that through dating AND how I present myself now I have a bit more freedom from lone parenting. How much do I share?! Is it creepy? Is it tacky, even though the pic itself isn’t? Or is it empowering and celebrating myself? (I could have one without my face in and make put it’s not me, but that seems even weirder!)

I’m not going to hang it in the sitting room, but she’ll see it often in my room. So will her friends as they come in and out of her room, because the only blank wall faces the door and our dogs open the door. We’ll have to have at least a chat about not telling my mother/all the neighbours/the greengrocer’s cat about it, what to say to her friends and not to let them photograph it! I just don’t think she’ll get it. I wouldn’t have got it at her age. (I wouldn’t have got it 12 months ago!). Is it unreasonable to expect her to get it with the right framing or should I wait? Until
when?!

All views welcome, but be polite! (Apologies for length, I’m thinking out loud)

@SurprisedWithAHorse I do admit it's cringe that the OP can't just enjoy the photo and not subject her Daughter to have to worry about her Friends seeing it.

I also find it cringe that OP said the other women's photo's weren't that great.

The OP has said the photos don’t look like her! It’s right there in the very first paragraph of the OP…!

It’s the entire point of the thread - alongside wanting to subject her DD to them.

I feel sorry for you too BUT hey as long as your boudoir pic makes you happy and feel empowered and sexy and you honestly believe that you look like that on a daily basis with makeup on then that's all that matters....right down to your little unairbrushed freckles.
Keeping them in a locked folder on your laptop sounds great. You can put in your password to your locked album every so often and check yourself against the mirror..yep still the image of me and then you can close it and lock it again and get on on with your day. Sounds very cathartic.

Look, here's just one example from the very same page, literally two posts up from the denial that anyone is telling OP she's not as pretty as the photos make her look. I know it's not addressed to the OP but it's directed at someone who also did a boudoir shot so it applies to both and it's a pretty direct insult. This person hasn't even seen the people or photos that she's insulting! And she's not the only poster to do it.

At heart, this is honestly nothing to do with the daughter although some people have jumped on it as a fig leaf for what really offends them. But a surprising number of people haven't and haven't made any effort to hide their thinking. There is a major puritanical streak on MN which means many people are offended at the concept of boudoir photography, no matter what the context. So they can't stand to hear someone discuss their experience of it without coming in to tell them they're "brazen", "disgusting", "cringe", out of style and, above all, not pretty whatever the photos suggest. Nothing to do with the daughter at all.

It's spiteful, mean spirited and really far more offensive than a woman privately commissioning some photos of herself that she likes.

Nope didn't say she was not as pretty, I said she will look nothing like the photo's taken. If you go back a bit in my posts you will see I said that nobody needs editing, lighting, posing and airbrushing to look beautiful. You look beautiful as you are.

The missing poster comment makes me laugh. My friend says that to his niece all of the time as she filters her photos so much. She laughs about it.

I honestly think some people have no sense of humour.

I've just googled boudoir photos. Yes, there are some amazing ones but I wouldn't subject my Son to photos of me lying on a bed looking seductive. DH would love it.

If boudoir photos didn't make somebody look not like themselves usually, they'd have zero business; it's fantasy photography. Nothing wrong with it if that's your thing but to want to foist the photos on other people, by accident or design, is what's weird.

I never use filters on my phone, everyone looks as they usually do. I take photos of people I love, I can cope with the reality.

Yes yes, telling a woman who did a sexy lingerie shoot that she is unrecognisable in the pics is totally not a veiled insult and is absolutely a way of complimenting her natural beauty. You weren't at all insinuating that she isn't that pretty and you're totally not offended.

And if anyone believes that, I've got a bridge to sell you.

It is NOTHING to do with how she looks, it's how they MADE her look. It's NOT real. NOBODY needs to be beautified and enhanced like that to look beautiful.

She KNOWS it's not REAL. There would be no BUSINESS for a BOUDOIR PHOTOGRAPHER who just snapped you in your JOGGERS in TESCO.

You can KEEP randomly capitalising WORDS while you state the BLEEDING OBVIOUS but it changes NOTHING about your OBVIOUS INTENTIONS and sheer RUDENESS.

Ahhhhhh there you have it. it's not real. Point proven.

Oh no please :( - I'm all for the empowerment that boudoir shoots bring (i personally don't like them but thats only my opinion) but its a hard no for me displaying it anywhere.

I swear there's been a thread recently where poster wanted to display them on SM, despite a universal chorus not to it was clear she was going to and that's where I veer off. Empowerment comes from within, not from external validation (which is what you want by displaying it)

Put it somewhere only you will see it (inside wardrobe as per previous poster is a shout) but please don't start askig your daughter to keep secrets around it, thats icky.

My 18y said similar when I asked her about this thread. She was appalled at the idea and said she would never want to see photos like that of me or her dad.

Hope Op has got the message now!

Not, however, as offensive as a woman exposing her thirteen year old to a sexualised photo of her mother. Lest you forget what the original post was actually about.

*The judging of the boudoir shoot started on page 1 with...

"Boudoir photos in this day and age?"

and continued throughout.*

How is that a judgement? I was just really surprised that this is a thing in this era of camera phones. I thought boudoir photos were confined to history. I associate them with Sunday supplement advertising in the late 80's
and a soft focus image of a woman wearing underwear, pearls and an aviation jacket.

I feel sorry for these posters with their judgemental attitudes, rather than celebrating with the OP.
Give us a break @Wasjumpking?

No, point missed by you yet again.

As several people including OP and others who have done it have said, it's expressing a part of them that doesn't get much seen, so no, it doesn't look like their everyday selves because it's not supposed to.

However, there is something in you that wants to remind them over and over again that it isn't how they typically look and it isn't what they present to the world at large. Even though they know this because it's literally why they did it.

You can try to claim that the reason for your derogatory, insulting and spiteful remarks is because you're so appreciative of their natural beauty but I don't know who you think you're fooling.

Taking aside the 'boudoir photo' for a second, I know that when I step out of the hairdressers, all perfect blonde, smooth, swishy hair, that is a moment of pride (and thanks to the magician hairdresser!).

Does my hair always look like that? Does it buggery. It's like fluffy chicken feathers the rest of the time, pinned up/hoisted up in a scrunchie or clip and hope for the best.

My hairdresser moment is just that, a moment... and then it's caught in the wind and by degrees, it's back to chicken feathers.

Chicken feathers 😂. Please do take a photo of your swishy hair. I do think that would be acceptable to put in a frame in your living room.

it doesn't look like their everyday selves because it's not supposed to

I beg to differ. The poster said it looked EXACTLY like them...right down to her freckles. So thank you for reiterating the point I was making to her.

Some days I feel quite smoking untill I open my camera phone and it is facing me. Immediately brings me back down to earth.

😂I know that feeling. Especially when I am looking down!

Id probably buy a lovely photo album and get them printed in high quality and keep them in that on your dresser.

its great that youve had the confidence to do the shoot and look fantastic! But…. If theyre up on the wall for any visitors/workmen to see, idk if id be comfortable with that tbh

Well, she's seen the pics and herself. You haven't. If she says it looks like her, I don't see why you find that so unbelievable.

I expect it looks like her, somewhat stylised and polished. It probably doesn't look like her in joggers with no makeup, but I doubt she's as unrecognisable as you want to think she is. The point of boudoir shots isn't to make you look like a completely different person. It's just to show a different side to usual. It's photography, not metamorphosis.

But you're too offended by the idea to understand any of this. It all comes back to your precious "point" that a softly lit lingerie shot won't look exactly the same as a harsh forward facing camera one, as if anyone denies this.

Oh blimey. You're still shouting. And rude. And missing the obvious.

@SurprisedWithAHorse is absolutely right.

I don't look like my everyday self. I'm not supposed to in the photos.

However, I still look like me. Exactly like me.

There's a difference there, which you are struggling to acknowledge.

The emerging from the hairdresser's, the wedding photos, the change make up makes, putting on a lovely outfit, using Spanks, having a shower after getting out of bed...all are examples given to you to help you try to understand that every day all around you, people do things that make them look a way they want you to see. All of those versions are them.

What is so difficult in this for you to understand?

Unless you enjoy looking au natural in joggers at bedtimes, mornings, dinners out, weddings, work, you do it yourself every day.