To display a boudoir photograph with a child in the home?

[Notgoingononlyfansyet]

I ‘won’ one of those boudoir shoots and bought some pictures. It was just a bit of a fun, but the pictures are AMAZING. They honestly make me feel capable of anything and really brought home to me that everyday me isn’t all I can be. That with a little extra expertise and resource I can do something very, very different. It’s such a great concept to get my head around and apply in general. (Also, I look smoking hot and who doesn’t love that?!)

I really want to display some of the pictures. They aren’t tacky or sleazy. I’m wearing more that I was on the beach last month. Full Bra, brazillian pants, and a jacket in some shots. No stockings, thongs or bondage type undies. No handcuffs, but some hobby props (a hat and a book. Some pearls) She sees me naked all the time (but I respect her privacy however she prefers and I don’t brazenly wander about naked. We have dogs that open doors, it’s unavoidable, not deliberate or overtly liberal. She locks the bathroom, but will happily yell for me to get her a towel etc. All no big deal in an all girl household) But the pics are overtly sensual. I don’t have a partner and her father is permanently out of the picture for over than a decade. I do sometimes date and she knows about that in age appropriate detail.

My biggest concern is that she will connect it with my dating (which is fairly new and not unconnected in that both are because I feel more sexy than I have for years) but it’s not that dating leads to needing to change to be attractive for dates. It’s feeling more attractive and exploring that through dating AND how I present myself now I have a bit more freedom from lone parenting. How much do I share?! Is it creepy? Is it tacky, even though the pic itself isn’t? Or is it empowering and celebrating myself? (I could have one without my face in and make put it’s not me, but that seems even weirder!)

I’m not going to hang it in the sitting room, but she’ll see it often in my room. So will her friends as they come in and out of her room, because the only blank wall faces the door and our dogs open the door. We’ll have to have at least a chat about not telling my mother/all the neighbours/the greengrocer’s cat about it, what to say to her friends and not to let them photograph it! I just don’t think she’ll get it. I wouldn’t have got it at her age. (I wouldn’t have got it 12 months ago!). Is it unreasonable to expect her to get it with the right framing or should I wait? Until
when?!

All views welcome, but be polite! (Apologies for length, I’m thinking out loud)

Posters are thinking of her daughter.

Agree 💯

Wow, op, did you accidentally write that you were having a picture of you, legs akimbo with next to nothing on, made into glow-in-the-dark wallpaper for the living room opposite the window?!

I thought you'd said a (singular) photo, which I'm guessing is fairly small, on a wall in your bedroom which may, possibly, be seen by your dc and, potentially, her friends if the door is open.

🤣

So did I.

Apparently having a nice picture of herself in her underwear in her own bedroom is slutty, but a thong bikini on the beach is empowering.

The judging of the boudoir shoot started on page 1 with...

"Boudoir photos in this day and age?"

and continued throughout.

Several posters are sadly just here to judge the photoshoot. Some can be bothered to tag on a further para about DD too.

I feel sorry for these posters with their judgemental attitudes, rather than celebrating with the OP. Even saying nothing and moving along is better than the vile and harsh comments some posters have left. Sad lives produce sad words.

It's OP who is making a big drama out of it by starting the thread.

If she didn't want people seeing it there has been several suggestions where she could put it to enjoy it for herself.

Urgh. God no.
Mortifying to want to display these. With or without DD seeing it.

Aparently having a nice picture of herself in her underwear in her own bedroom is slutty, but a thong bikini on the beach is empowering.

I can't be bothered checking if anyone said "slutty". That isn't the point. The point is the OP's daughter being drawn into seeing her mother's "sensual" photos and having to collude in keeping her mother's "sensual" photos secret and even worse having to ask any of her friends to keep it secret too if they happen to see them. Yuk.

Has anyone said wearing a thong on a beach is "empowering" ? It isn't. It's, depending on the temperature and the location, simply something that's appropriate to wear on a beach.

I think OP rubbed people up the wrong way by ignoring suggestions that it wouldn't be great for her Daughter and friends to see it, keep it a secret and then basically saying that her pictures were amazing but others weren't.

People were just being honest about the sort of photos. I've only seen one person's photos and they were stunning. However, they weren't natural or true to life. I don't know why it's being horrible saying this.

I'm glad the experience was a positive thing for OP but the question was about her Daughters feelings.

Don't hang them up where your child (or anyone else's child) can see. Put them somewhere private for you to enjoy.

Can you genuinely imagine your own mother doing this and seeing firsthand evidence of your mother's sexual side. It's one thing to know intellectually that your mother is "more than just a mother" and that she has a private life but it's another thing to be confronted with images of it. It mortifying for me to think of as an adult, nevermind a teenager, who's friends may see it also.

Can't you put them in an album, in a drawer or somewhere private. You can look at them any time you want and feel good about yourself, without traumatising your daughter in the process.

@SurprisedWithAHorse I actually love your username and remember the walking thread.

However, do you actually think women have these boudoir photos done and don't realise they have been filtered and made to look the best they can be.

Yes, it may be inspiring and a confidence boost but if I had them done I would be aware that's not what I look like whilst I'm laying seductively on the bed at home.

I don't look like that lying on a bed, as I don't keep that still for that long! However, my eyes do probably look as intense as in the photos, as I have taken selfies filter free with my eyes looking that good.

Like I said earlier, I had 30 mins between the last shot and my viewing. There were over 100 shots. Do you really think the photographer had a chance to primp and preen me in every one?

A lot of women on this thread don't seem to acknowledge that their wedding day was a very similar experience to a boudoir shoot...albeit with a different outfit.

You have make up specifically done to look your best.
You have hair specifically done to look your best.
You pay (far more) money for a professional photographer.
The photographer's tools, such as extra lighting, Photoshop, etc are used to make you look your best.
The photographer poses you in certain ways to get the very best shots of you they can.

I've lost count of the amount of brides I've seen that look nothing like their normal day to day selves in their photos. Soft focus, thinned down, spot free faces...the list is endless.

I've only ever seen my boudoir shoot(and I don't want to see anyone else's!) and I look exactly like me. During the viewing, I pointed out how lovely it was that all my freckles were clear in one shot. The photographer asked if I wanted them photoshopped out and of course I didn't.

(And again, another "let's discuss what's wrong with boudoir shoots rather than a hint of answering OPs questions about her DD)

I've only ever seen my boudoir shoot(and I don't want to see anyone else's!)

🤣 how come?

BTW I fully accept that there are other styles of boudoir photography that go more for the look different to your everyday self shoot and Photoshop everything. If that's what the paying customer wants, then that's their choice. I didn't.

Which is exactly the same as choosing your wedding photographer to give you the "look" you want for your wedding photos

Of course they realise it's a flattering shoot. It isn't supposed to look mundane!

But that's no reason to keep tearing at OP and trying to tell her she shouldn't feel pretty because she isn't, which is what a lot of these spiteful posts are about.

What was it a certain supermodel said? "At 7am with no makeup, even I don't look like Cindy Crawford!"

I look like shit right now. Soon I'll shower, dress, do my hair and makeup and look a lot better, albeit no supermodel. Is that somehow wrong? Should I spend the day reminding myself that I look crap when I'm not groomed?

I think a lot of people aren't capable of understanding the point of these shoots, honestly.

I think this sums up my own feelings on your posts OP.

It is actually really not on for you to have that photo anywhere your daughter can see it. I think your judgement is clouded right now but there are a lot of really thoughtful responses here, the one I have quoted in particular.

You’ll regret not keeping that photo for your eyes only.

Those saying it would be fine would I assume be fine seeing photos of their own mum looking desirable in underwear, but that's not the norm for teenagers.

I was just going off what my Facebook friend looked like on her shoot and what she looks like in real life. She looked more like herself on her wedding photos.

I wasn't being nasty but of course I realise how it may have come across.

Most of my comments were about the Daughter though. I honestly don't know why OP started the thread if it wasn't to tell us how smoking she looked but others didn't.

You keep believing that! Just don't let anyone put your "boudoir" photo out as a missing poster....coz they will NEVER find you.

I've only ever seen my boudoir shoot(and I don't want to see anyone else's!)

Then why do you think your DD and her friends would want to see yours?!

But that's no reason to keep tearing at OP and trying to tell her she shouldn't feel pretty because she isn't, which is what a lot of these spiteful posts are about.

Nobody is telling OP she isn't pretty. We've never seen her. I've read her posts again and they just seem odd. She is making a massive deal about the photos. She doesn't want anyone to see the photos but is worried her Daughter's friends will take photos of the photos.

I'm also thinking this isn't even a real post. It's so bizarre.

I knew you'd deny it, although I really don't know how anyone could. I'm not going to go back through the thread to pull out the billion examples, but yes they absolutely have. Constant statements that the pictures don't look like her (incredible for people who haven't seen her or the photos), going on about makeup, filters and poses, etc etc etc and basically saying, over and over again, that she isn't as pretty as the photos make her look and she should be embarrassed for doing it at all (cringe, disgusting, etc etc).

There's really no way you or anyone else could have followed the thread and missed this overtone. So if OP is being dishonest for an agenda, she isn't alone.

I'm not the OP 😉

My first post was advising the OP not to put them on display. Mine are in a locked folder on my laptop.

Yes I thought this too!

I can only think you're a cyber stalker.

That is the only way you would think you know my boudoir shoot looks nothing like me.

I definitely know you're rude and shouty. And unkind. I feel sorry for you.